J. Craig Klope

04/06/2026

Laugh out Loud Monday is Here! Please share so your friends can start their week with a smile.

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods, admiring all that the "accident of evolution" had created.
"What beautiful animals!" he said to himself.

As he walked alongside the river, he heard a rustling in the bushes behind him. He turned to look. He saw a 7-foot grizzly bear charging toward him.

He ran as fast as he could up the path. He looked over his shoulder and saw that the bear
was closing in. He ran even faster, so scared that tears were coming to his eyes.

Looking over his shoulder again, the bear was even closer. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and
fell on the ground.

He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear right on top of him, reaching for him with his left paw and raising his right paw to strike.

At that instant the atheist cried out, without thinking,
"Oh my God! ... "

Time stopped.
The bear froze.
The forest was silent.
Even the river stopped moving.

As a bright light shone upon the man, a voice came out of the sky,
"You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit
creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to now count you as a believer?"

The atheist looked directly into the light and answered,
"It would be hypocritical for me to be a Christian after all these years; but, perhaps, you could make the bear a Christian?"

"Very well," said the voice.

The light went out.
The River ran again.
The sounds of the forest resumed.

And then the bear dropped his right paw ...
brought both paws together ... bowed his head and
spoke:
"Lord, for this food which I am about to receive,
I am truly thankful."

03/30/2026

Laugh Out Loud Monday is here!
Please share so your friends can start their week with a smile.

There was a Texas oil tycoon who was watching his largest oil well going up in flames. He called in the best fire fighting equipment money could buy but there was no way they could get close enough to the intense flames to reach them with their water hose. Finally, out of desperation, he called the local volunteer fire department. They chugged up in their 1946 truck and passed every one of the state of the art rigs and headed toward the center of the fire. They stopped, jumped out, sprayed each other down with water, and then proceeded to put out the fire. When they were finally finished, the millionaire was so impressed with the crew's dedication and bravery, he awarded the chief with a check for $10,000. Later, a reporter asked the chief what he was going to do with the money. The chief replied, "Well, the first thing we're going to do is fix those lousy brakes!!"

03/26/2026

Still one of the best visual metaphors ever.
What is holding you back? Fear? Rejection? Failure?
Throw off the chains that bind you and soar today.

03/23/2026

LOL Mondays is here:

An elderly lady gets pulled over for going 70mph in a 35mph zone ...

Older Woman: Is there a problem, Officer?

Officer: Ma'am, you were speeding.

Older Woman: Oh, I see.

Officer: Can I see your license please?

Older Woman: I'd give it to you but I don't have one.

Officer: You don't have one?

Older Woman: No. I lost it 4 years ago for drunk driving.

Officer: I see...Can I see your vehicle registration papers please?

Older Woman: I can't do that.

Officer: Why not?

Older Woman: I stole this car.

Officer: You stole it?

Older Woman: Yes, and I killed and hacked up the owner.

Officer: You what?

Older Woman: His body parts are in plastic bags in the trunk if you want to see.

The Officer looks at the woman and slowly backs away to his car and calls for back up. Within minutes 5 police cars circle the car. A senior officer slowly approaches the car, clasping his half-drawn gun.

Officer 2: Ma'am, could you step out of your vehicle please?
The woman steps out of her vehicle.

Older woman: Is there a problem sir?

Officer 2: One of my officers told me that you have stolen this car and murdered the owner.

Older Woman: Murdered the owner?

Officer 2: Yes, could you please open the trunk of your car, please?

The woman opens the trunk, revealing nothing but a tidy, empty trunk.

Officer 2: Is this your car, ma'am?

Older Woman: Yes, here are the registration papers.
The officer is quite stunned.

Officer 2: One of my officers claims that you do not have a drivers license.

The woman digs into her handbag and pulls out a clutch purse and hands it to the officer.

The officer examines the license. He looks quite puzzled.

Officer 2: Thank you, ma'am. One of my officers told me you didn't have a license, that you stole this car, and that you murdered and hacked up the owner.

Older Woman: I bet the liar told you I was going 70 in a 35, too.

Don’t mess with old people. 😂

03/16/2026

Laugh out Loud Mondays are back!
Please share so your friends can start their week with a smile.

Three old maids die and arrive in heaven at the same time.
When they get there, St. Peter says, "We only have one rule here in heaven: don't step on the ducks!"
So they enter heaven, and sure enough, there are ducks all over the place.
It is almost impossible not to step on a duck, and although they try their best to avoid them, the first woman accidentally steps on one.
Along comes St. Peter with the ugliest man she ever saw.
St. Peter chains them together and says, "Your punishment for stepping on a duck is to spend eternity chained to this ugly man!"
The next day, the second woman accidentally steps on a duck and along comes St. Peter, who doesn't miss a l thing. With him is another extremely ugly man. He chains them together with the same admonishment as for the first
woman.
The third woman has observed all this and, not wanting to be chained for all eternity to an ugly man, is very, VERY careful where she steps.
She manages to go months without stepping on any ducks, then one day St.
Peter comes up to her with the most handsome man she has ever laid eyes on... very tall, dark hair, and muscular.
St. Peter chains them together without saying a word and walks away.
The happy woman says, "I wonder what I did to deserve being chained to you for all of eternity?"
The guy says, "I don't know about you, but I stepped on a duck!"

11/08/2024

I was talking to someone today who said their favorite movie was the original, A Star is Born, starring Kris Kristofferson, who sadly passed away six weeks ago. I told them this story he shared with me a few years ago. One time when I had him one on one, I had to ask him about the infamous rumor about him stealing a helicopter. If you don’t know the story, when Kris moved to Nashville to become a songwriter he was struggling and couldn’t get anyone to listen to his songs. He had flown helicopters in the military prior to coming to Nashville so he got the idea to “borrow” one, land it in Johnny Cash’s backyard, and give him a tape of his songs. This rumor has circulated for decades and I even saw Johnny talking about it on a show once. Johnny said he heard a loud noise, walked outside, and watched a helicopter land in his yard. Then this long haired boy hops out with a beer in one hand and a tape of Sunday Morning Coming Down in the other. He hands him the tape, hops back in the helicopter, and flies away. Things about the story never added up to me. How do you steal a helicopter and take off without the control tower knowing about it? I asked Kris this and finally heard the real story from the horse’s mouth. Apparently, after he left the military full time he still remained in the National Guard doing exercises once a month. On one of these exercises he was flying over Hendersonville when he saw Johnny’s famous house on the lake and got the idea. He landed but was disappointed when the groundskeeper came up and told him neither Johnny or June were home. He gave the caretaker a tape to give him, only it wasn’t Sunday Morning, it was a song no one has ever recorded! And there was no beer.
I asked him why he hasn’t corrected the story over the years? He said, “I’m sure Johnny’s story was probably created in his memories one night while binge drinking and he believed it, and to be honest, I liked his story better.”
RIP

Former host of 2 nationally syndicated celebrity talk shows, J. Craig Klope is now a producer and sp

12/31/2022

Dear Fear,
I want you to know it’s over between us. We had a crazy ride for the past year but I’ve found someone new. I’m getting back together with Faith. We have big plans for 2023 and I can’t have you holding me back any longer.
Sincerely,
Craig

11/23/2022

I know I haven’t been on here in awhile but my wife and I have been traveling around the country for the past 5 months managing a display for Elton John’s Farewell Tour. It was an awesome experience and we made memories that will last a lifetime. His final concert in North America was Sunday night at Dodger Stadium. We’re now wrapping up the tour and will be getting back to a more normal schedule soon. Ours is never normal though. I’ll try to hop on here more in the coming weeks.