28/05/2020
The Switcher
I reached into Father Time's pocket and found a necklace.
It was made out crystal dust.
Frightened by the reflection of smile
My trembling hands could not keep it steady.
And before I knew it.
The scars of my father started weighing heavy.
Trying to give my mother the love he denied her for birthing four of his kin.
He is not ready now and he was not ready then.
Thoughts about his bu****it run through my brain so deep that I end up leaving my mother on read, while we conversate.
I wonder how it makes you feel to see your Helen of Troy chase after man wearing a baby bib.
You say She ain't no saint either.
It's visa versa when my father and I laugh over sports games and conversate.
He teaches me how to be a better man by finding a woman that's opposite of her.
A mist all the drama I tend to attend ni****ne therapy.
Smoking the problems away.
Being the last one to stay, when all of their kin folk choose to runaway.
I wonder where they choose to hide their trauma and if they ever think about such things the same.
When I was two tenths of my age I would text message em brace a reunion of all six of us.
I swear the way I was begging them to come back, it felt like I was two breathes away from su***de.
I can believe I spent late nights walking around town looking for a white corolla.
Heading out the house at two in the morning.
Going house to house for three years just doing patrolling.
Scheming in the dark hours hoping to find an omen.
Thinking to myself that it will all be better.
Two years without finding nothing and that didn't stop me.
Until I found it parked outside house 22.
Back then we were and still are house 21.
Back then, that moment didn't hurt as much as it hurts now.
House 22 was far from us, in a different street but seeing that car in the drive way really hit home.
Come to think of it.
That experience harmed me so much more then all of the pain that I've lived through.
I'm still working on how I'm going to confront you on this.
I got questions that you need to answer.
Because you flipped the script on us without telling us.
Now 20+ years later I'm supposed to fix your mess.
And....
I'm only doing this now because I found my house 21.
But I keep thinking about what happens in house 22.