My pain bubbles

My pain bubbles my soul speaks for me

16/03/2026

Insomnia clings to me;
Like I'm it's every breath.
The lack of sleep;
Has slowly lead to my death.
Swollen red eyes,
And memories of them in my head.
Sometimes,
I'm not even sure,
Who I'm thinking about and when.
But i know insomnia has become a toxic friend.
I can't let go.
It feels like idolatry.
And all i hear in the gaps is,
'My darling child come to me.'
So when, will i, truly see;
Who Jesus is to me?
And when will i truly feel,
Like mornings are meant for me?
I want waking up to finally feel easy.
Why struggle to fall asleep; knowing you'll never leave me?
What else is keeping me from you besides myself?
I know i need it; but where do i even begin with finding help?

The answer's you.
Of course.
So please help me with this dear Lord.

10/02/2026

They say it's not love
But i know what love is
And if it's not
Then why do i feel this?
This complete consumption
Everything you are replays in my head
I'm struggling to function
Will this ever end?

04/01/2026

I'm not sure where to go from here or if I'll ever fully be okay again but i know it's always like that at first. you never see past right now when it's so intense
so i know at some point I'll be okay but not right now.
another beautiful ball of light has left us in the dark. I'm hopeful one day those memories will reignite a spark
may your light continue to shine in your absence my friend

24/12/2025

sometimes silence is painful and crippling. You want more than anything to do something, to feel productive, but your mind's completely blank. You zone out in your thoughts and you forget what you were thinking about, even if it was important. Then you tell yourself if it was that important you would've remembered. Then your hand starts twitching because it wants to be creative again...like it used to be when you were a kid. But you struggle to find that part of you now. That's what's been keeping me away, and that's what brought me back.

06/09/2025

i don't think I'll ever stop loving you.

23/07/2025

You don't love yourself.
So, you don't believe us,
When we say we love you.

And you choose to be blind,
When we show you.

You've destroyed yourself for years.

You don't love yourself.
So you don't want us to love you.

We'll always love you ❤️

18/06/2025

You got me thinking about you
I'm talking to God about you
It's, my man, my man, my man, and it's all about you!
How could u do this to me?
You're not making this easy for me
When i close my eyes,
It's you by my side!
Your heart and your smile
Our house on the hills
I see all your skills
And your art fills, our children's rooms
And I'm so blessed to be loved by you

31/05/2025

All the signs were there
There's just something so peaceful about knowing
It's not easy or fair
But i see how much I'm growing

31/05/2025

A week and 2 days ago changed my life.

07/05/2025

Once again, my hands shook at your proximity, as my heart beat rapidly, and i wondered...wtf, is wrong, with me?

04/04/2025

So many people,
Living so many lives.
But there's only one you,
And you only live once.
What will you do with your time?
What will you do with your heart?
What will you do with your mind?
Will you choose to free your spirit?
Will you choose to be blind?
Will you choose to find comfort in a cage?
And what fate will befall your soul when there's no more time?

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