Ukuba Ndandazile

27/09/2022

Ukuba Ndandazile

#8

UBanele ujikela emvakwendlu ngasethunzini ethethela phantsi.

Banele: UThimna waphi ngoku? Ngoba ke mna andikhumbulu ndithetha nawe nje.
Thimna: (ehleka) Hayi ungade uthethele phantsi ndizongena nam apho phakathi undibone ekukhanyeni.
Banele: (ethethela phantsi) Azange ndak*mosha kodwa?
Thimna: (ehlekela phezulu) Wade wanovalo uyazazi njandini ukuba usisimoshi esidala, ewe wandimosha awusakhumbuli?
Banele: hayi noko wena sizobuye siyithethe leyo okwangoku ndisazosela apha eClub10 andizanga kuzovusa izinto zakudala (ehleka)

Bangena behambisana uBanele noThimna behleka, uBabalwa noAsive bayahleba.

Babalwa: Yinguye lomntana kuthiwa nguThimna lo ongena noBanele?
Asive: Nguye kanye, ufike nini ndamgqibela kudala sekabangaka ngoku wekelibhityo.
Babalwa: Kuyakhulwa ngabantwana ebemncinci ngoku kodwa ngoku ubhidlikile, inoma ukhona loSuger Daddy anaye ngeke uve.
Andile: (ethethela phantsi) Oooohhhh yini na kangaka namgqiba umntanabantu engekahlali naphantsi, nothing ukuba uzonwabele nje akho kwalondoda.
Babalwa: Wazelaphi mmmhh ujola nawe?
Asive: Hayi kodwa nawe Chomie abe ujole naye nini ezifikela nje uThimna.
Babalwa: Wabuza mna buza yena lo onguAndile.
Andile: Ndibuzwani mna ndiziselela utywala andifuni kwanto ethethisayo namhlanje ndifuna ukuzilalela qha xa ndihlulwa lutywala.

Kufika uThimna etafileni abulise, uBabalwa noAsive bazincumisa into engapheli.

Thimna: Molweni guys?

Bobathathu uAndile noBabalwa noAsive bayavuma.

Bonke: Hi Thimna.
Thimna: Ninjani?
Andile: Simnandi wena? Yhooo xa uzovele ubengaka inoba ungakanani uLwando yena ngoku.
Thimna: kanti naye ungaka uyeke nje ukuba esemfutshane nje kodwa noko mdala ngoku.

Behleka bonke

Banele: Uthi uyoze abemde lowo
Thimna: k*mele ndimfake umanyola ngoku ayikho leyakhe emdala kodwa abengaka.
Babalwa: (encumile) Awusemhle ntombi yhooo, ikuphede kakuhle igoli nhe?
Thimna: Ewe noko sizama ukuphila akhonto itheni nesikolo ke.
Babalwa: Nicenge ningavumeli ukuhlala apha ezilali.

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27/09/2022

Ukuba Ndandazile

#7

UBabalwa utsala uAsive ngesandla baphumela ngaphandle

Asive: Yintoni ngoku wena wanditsala kanje ndithetha nabanye nje?
Babalwa: Hayi s**a wena kutheni nje ngathi ufuna ukulahla? Uyamazi ukuba unjani uBanele.
Asive: (Ehleka) Uzama ukuthini ngoku ngam ngathi andimazi kodwa ke ikhona into embi xa singake nje sivane mna naye kube Kanye.
Babalwa: (Eqhwaba izandla) Ndikuncamile kwawena namhlanje kutheni nje ngathi lento bendiyicinga yinyani (ehleka) uyarhawuzelelwa wena.
Asive: Ewe ndithini ke ngoba sizobe sivisana kamnandi sobabini uyeke wena uvimbayo ngeyakho into (ehleka).
Babalwa: Hayi ke ndikuvile masingene bengekasikrobeli (behleka bobabini)

UBanele uphumela phandle ushiye uAndile evula IWhiskey

Andile: Uyaphi ngoku mphathi? Naba bengena nje nababantwana.
Banele: Caba ak*melanga ndibethe namanzi la ngoku mphathi?
Andile: (ehleka) Hayi kaloku anditsho njalo.

UBabalwa noAsive bame ecaleni kukaBanele.

Babalwa: Sangena wena waphuma uthi uyaphi?
Banele: Ndiya apho nis**a khona ngubani othe nini nodwa enikwaz ukuchama.
Asive: Ngubani othe thina besichama?
Babalwa: (ehleka eqhwetha uAsive) Kanti unjani wena? Ngoku sowufuna ukusiveza ukuba sifuna basinike ntoni?
Asive: (ehleka) Kanti nawe uyayifuna lento ndiyifunayo thixo uyinjakazi wena. (Bahleke bobabini)
Babalwa: kwakinini ndiyifuna qha ndithile ngesibom
Banele: Yintoni leyo kaloku ak*melanga sisale nomphathi wam thethani.
Asive: (encimile) Ndimxelele ne Chomie sivele sazane ukuba kunjani?
Babalwa: Mexelele kodwa angamxeleli uAndile kufuneka azibonele ngokwakhe yena ukuba kuzokwenzeka ntoni.
Asive: (evala amehlo ngezandla) Sifuna ukonwaba kakhulu namhlanje.
Banele: Ohk (ecinga) njani kanene ngoba ke ndithi sonwabile nje?
Babalwa: Ha kanti ufuna kude kuve nabathanda indaba zabantu? UAsive ufuna ukuthi namhlanje ufuna s**e nonwabisane nakwezinye iindawo.
Banele: (ehleka) shhhh thulani ndivile ngeyakwamkhozi leyo masibe sisela okwangoku. (Bahleke)

UBanele aphumele phandle.Kuyakhwazwa ngaphandle kweYard, BANELE! BANELE!

Banele: (uphakamisa intloko) Ungunani wena ondikhwazayo uphi kona?
(ILIZWI): Ndim ndilapha kanti wena ulindele bani?
Banele: (ehleka) andidibani ke mna noku! Noku! Inoba uyandiva.
(ILIZWI): (liyahleka) ndiyakuva kodwa ke ndifuna ukuthetha nawe kudala ndime apha phandle ndilinde ukuba uzophuma
Banele: amdihlalelanga wena kaloku apha mna thetha ngoku ndizohamba ndilindiwe apha phakathi,Kona ungubani wena?
(ILIZWI): NdinguThimna, ohhh awsandazi ngoku?

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10/02/2022

Ukuba Ndandazile

#6

uAsive ephendula iPhone ephumela phandle, uAndile ubulusa untangakhe.

Andile: Yini ukuhamba kangaka ndome ndifile.
Banele:(ehleka) Ngeba awulho apha ukuba ubufile ngathi silambe kungoku sicinga lomngqusho esingazuwuthenga.
Andilrle: (ehleka) Uthi uyoze udle nje wena noba uyolila imini nobusuku kungangeni kwaloo mngqusho uwurhalelayo.
Banele: Wade wabe ufile nje uvelaphi?
Andile: Ndis**a ngapha eGalani, akhobantu nje tuu kuBongiwe zimpahla zodwa.
Banele: (ehleka) Kodwa ndake ndayitsho lento (eqhwaba izandla) awubambisanga unoxhaka wakho (ephelile yintsini).
Andile: (ngomsindo) Kona wena ubuphi emini ndikufuna nje..?
Banele: (ehleka) Yiyeke eyasemini. (ethethela phantsi) Mamela apha mfanam ndithe kuAsive makabize uBabalwa usendleleni ungamyeki nje tuu.
Andile: (encumile) uBabalwa lo (ebambe umlomo) uthini apha k*m, kwakunini ndafuna ukuba ndifumane umzuzu naye yerr.
Banele: (ajike intloko athethele phantsi) shhhh thula mphathi naba besiza.

uAsive ungena noBabalwa bethethela phezulu.

Asive: Yewena njandini kunini sikulindile apha utji ubuhleliphi..?
Babalwa: (ehleka) Rhaaa ubobuza iitshomi zakho hayi mna, andikwazi noba ungubani, unguban kanene? (ehlekela phezulu)
Asive: Yhuu awsaphaphi ntombi, uthi ngubani lomfana ukuxakekisile ukuba kubengona ufika apha eClub 10?
Babalwa: Yhini thisa ndimrhalela kanje noba ndizotsho ndibhadle noko lide elixesha ndingasaSERVICE kaloku (behleka).

Bahlale phantsi, uBanele noAndile basuk*me bayothenga ibhotile babuye bahlale phantsi.

Babalwa: Haaaa yintoni na le..?
Asive: Nyani tshomi kuthini bengatsho xa bengakwazi kudala sibadalele thina.
Andile: Yazi ndithi noba senakhula kanti nisenje(ehleka eqhaaba nezandla) kodwake asizungaseli apha rhaaa.
Banele: Ewe mphathi bayaphambana aba kanti bafunani, khanitsho nifuna iClub 10 yonke(encumele uAsive).
Babalwa: (ehleka) Uyabona ke ngoku uyathetha xa usithi iClub 10 yonke,
Andile: Ungakhathazeki wena ngomso izoba ngeyalho leClub 10 (ezogquma ubuso encumile)

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10/02/2022

Please contact 071 194 6097 for more info: You can also send an email: [email protected]

10/02/2022

In the next few hours insect 6 will be dropped be prepared to be blown away 🥳🥳 and it'll never be the last time now sizofunda umphelo kwaye sihleke sonke sonwabe 😂😂🤸🤸

10/02/2022

Please boost me with some donation guys please it's been hell of a time that is why you never see me posting again kunzima nyani (Capitec 1760577055) please 🙏🙏

10/02/2022

Am sure I've been missed as hell to finish what I've started 🤗🤗🤗😋😘😘

08/06/2021

UKUBA NDANDAZILE

#5

uBabalwa ufowunela uAsive. UBanele udibana noAsive endleleni eya ePhelandaba.

Prr..! Prrrr!
Babalwa: Ntombi khawucinge ndibone bani?
Asive: Thetha kaloku uthi ubone bani phi?
Babalwa: Ndibone uAndile ehamba noBanele, yhooo abantu bayatshintsha.
Asive: Uthi umbone phi Ntombi?
Babalwa: ndimbone kulandlela ebheka kwaZuma ndihleli nelabambela lam kaloku.
Asive: Ndimvela ubuhlungu ke uSamnkelo, khona wake wamvisa ukuba injani nje yona okanye oko wakeyidla ngentliziyo?
Babalwa: Ndithi ndimviselantoni lowo, kona yintoni akayaziyo ngaphandle nje kok*matha kwamna andizazi ndandimqomelantoni.
Asive: Ave ukhohlakele..! Ngenxa use wabona uAndile, uSamnkelo akaseyonto yokunakwa.
Babalwa: Akunjalongo (ehleka) uyandazi nawe ukuba andiyiniki indoda nje mna ndinika indoda ewaziyo umsebenzi.

uAsive ucima ifowuni ngokukhawuleza xa endibana noBanele, uBabalwa yena ushiyeka ethukisa yedwa (iyandiqhela lenjakazi ndiyiphathele umgosi)

Banele: Molo Asive?
Asive: Molo Banele, hayi bendicinga kuyaxokwa xa kuthiwa ukhona.
Banele: Uthini na apha k*m? Ngoku kuphele iveki ndikhona.
Asive: Kaloku nina xa nibuyile anisijongi nje tu, suke niyolanda ezizinto zaseLuyengweni nale kwezinye iindawo.
Banele: Asinijongi thina..? Akunjalongo nje tu Asive ntonje nina aba baye basijonge ngathi asinifuni sibe sinilangazelela. Oko ndifikile apha ekhaya ibhedi yabanda mm kodwa andikho apho. (ehleka)
Asive: (encumile) Ngoku uhleka ntoni?
Banele: (encumile) Andihleki.
Asive: Uthi undiphathele ntoni ke eGoli?
Banele: Ufuna ukwazi? Ndinike iNumber yakho then I'll call you later kwaye mdiyathemba ukuba kuzoba ngeyethu.

uAsive amnikeze iNumber uBanele encumile.

Banele: Kona ubuzokwenza ntoni apha ePhelandaba?
Asive: Kuthengiswa izinto ezikhala kamnandi kaloku apha nam bendizojonga zona ndizoya kuBabalwa s**e sizithi vaa..! Vaa!.
Banele: Vele uthi uBabalwa makeze apha sihlaleni sonke ngoba noAndile usendleleni us**a endlini.

uAsive ungena efownini ngokukhawuleza, uAndile ungena ePhelandaba

04/06/2021

UKUBA NDANDAZILE

#4

uBavumile uhleli noyise uMthandeni ngasesibaya nina wakho uNobelungungu uhleli ngasemnyango ugcakamele ilanga.

Mthandeni: Henke nyana, mehlo madala, kudala yagqibelana, unjani kodwa empilweni?
Bavumile: Noko xhego akhonto engako, sibulela ukuphila side sizofika nasemadlozini.
Nobelungu: Kuhle nyana xanihambe nazongena ningenayo nemikrwelo. Sibulela umdali akekho ongaphezukwakhe.
Bavumile: Hayi mama sibulela ba side safika nathi apha.
Nobelungu: Ndingalibalanga nyana uthi uphi na umakoti wakwam? Ndimvile ukuba kunzima ukuthetha.
Mthandeni: Ee! Ewe nyana uphi sifuna uk*mbona, ndivule ngomzukulu ukuba ukoti uthetha olulwimi.
Bavumile: (ehleka) Ewe kunjalo ko..!

uBavumile uva ekhwazwa nguElizabeth, uvula ucango, ilanga likhupha umkhovu etyeni.

Elizabeth: Martin where are you?
Bavumile: I'm over here love.
Elizabeth: where's here MARTIN?
Mthandeni: (ehleka) aaaahhh..! Kwatsha pha. (kuhleka uNobelungu)
Bavumile: (ehleka) I'm with my dad next to the kraal.
Elizabeth: You should have just said so than telling me you are here (ehleka). (ethetha yedwa) wow! look at the mountains, feel the fresh air.

uElizabeth ifika ahlale kude kufuphi noNobelungu, imincili kuNobelungu kathi lusana.

Elizabeth: Hello mama.
Nobelungu: Hello my sweetheart. How did you sleep?
Elizabeth: (ethukile) I slept well mama but because of the rain last mama I hardly fall asleep I was a bit scared.
Nobelungu: You get use to it my baby, here we don't use roof tiles to cover our roofs, we use zinc's since they are cheap and cover large space we love them.

uBavumile noyise bothukile, umzukulwana kaNobelungu noMthandeni uLuzeka ubhidene nento. ULizwe ukhphela inkomo.

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04/06/2021

04/06/2021

UKUBA NDANDAZILE

#3

Ngentseni uBavumile uhleli nentombi yakhe yaseGoli uElizabeth.

Bavumile: (encumile) Morning my love.
Elizabeth: (encumile) Morning hubby.
Bavumile: How did you sleep?
Elizabeth: (ephefumlela phezulu) I hardly fall asleep, it was to dark but I managed since you were next and I slept like a baby.
Bavumile: (encumile) You'll get use to it my love, it's only a matter of time.
Elizabeth: How long will it take, just imagine if I stay here the whole year, I don't think I'd survive that long.
Bavumile: (ehleka) I don't want to say anything but you'll tell me when time goes by because there's a lot to experience here.
Elizabeth: (encumile) Don't laugh..! I don't think this month you were talking about for us to stay here I'll manage but because I love you I'll try but I'm promising anything.
Bavumile: (ehleka) I once said that when I moved to Joburg for the first time, but then guess what? I met you and my thoughts just change and I started to get to know many people and learn how they behave towards others.

Umntwana nqonqoza endlini kaBavumile.

Umntwana: Malume utat'omkhulu uyakubiza uhleli ngasesibaya.
Bavumile: Mxelele ndiyeza Avela.
Avela: UGogo yena uthi ufuna ukubona umakoti wakwakhe.
Bavumile: Ndizoza naye umakoti wakhe usalele ukhathazwe yindlela.

UAvela uya ekhitshini uthetha noGogo wakhe.

Avela: Ye Gogo uthi uMalume ufike nomlungu? Utat'omkhulu yena utheni xa ebona umakoti wakwakhe?
Gogo: (ehleka eqhwaba nezandla) Ebengathini na uyihl'omkhulu uyamazi nje nawe ndlela le ebevuya ngayo bekungathi akusi nalapha phandle oko ethi ufuna ukubona elibholomane likanyana wakhe.

UAvela no Gogo wakhe bayahleka.

uZukile useMount Frere ungena emontweni ebheka eMtata kukhala iPhone.

Prrrr...! Prrrr..!
Zukile: Molweni nguNtshinase lo othethayo. Ngaba ndithetha nabani?
Police: Hello Sir, am I speaking to Mr Zukile Nogoqa?
Zukile: Yes..! (engingiza) how am I speaking to?
Police: It's detective Peterson.

Wothukile uZukile, umqhubi wemoto uyabhatalisa

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