Cathartic Writings

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Cathartic Writings this is an attempt to rebuild my original page, which was lost forever because of things.

12/10/2023

(something from today...)

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..peel back collect contain hide away make a lifetime of deposits into the brain, potent strength s**t quickly murders pain when meticulously maintained coping strategies also double as a map of attack with enemies as far back as I can see even without my eyes intact they lay with me, these enemies of light prefer to waltz in the thick midnight the pupils adjust and adapt to the slight change in plans as I gaze into my hands...palms press into eyes as tonight I will maintain the lie that I am the sane one, I will be the one walking upright...I will reach empty and once there shall be fine.

02/10/2023

(something I did today...)

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amongst the bottom-feeders, among the garbage-dwelling maggots you will find me...
corrupted by the poisonous cacophony, the untold number of voices in my skull that direct me straight into sin...
my brethren, my beautiful kin, where are you when I reach out this skeletal hand? I need assistance...I need it now...

desolate gray figures that poke and prod at me, as if I were some sort of living skin-covered science experiment, they crave my tears...
get fu**ed, you pure and beautiful counterparts...I will never be equal or greater than you, and I can live with that...
I need assistance...I need it now...

amongst the fear-inducing reptilian scum, among the scale-covered snakes you will find me...
writhing and twisting in prolonged agony, we can only laugh at our complex yet simply avoidable issues...we are numb...
fangs drip venom so seductively, I want a taste of the forbidden nectar that you keep on the top shelf...I want to taste what true pleasure is...

uncaged and unhinged, psychosis in the driver's seat and the passenger? complete derailment of logic...
my brethren, my beautiful kin, where are you when I reach out this skeletal hand? I need assistance...I need it now...

amongst the bottom-feeders, among the garbage-dwelling maggots you will find me...

putrid trash never tasted so grand...
I need assistance...I need it now.

13/09/2023

something I did today...

💚🖤💚🖤

gaze upon these barren fields, the harvest has been called off. once bountiful and beautifully bring, once standing up strong in the nourishing light. there will be nothing to feed upon.

at a time, somewhat healthy and with roots stretching so deep, they took pleasure in the simple act of obtaining the sweet sustenance so dutifully fed to them. many laughs were had and we will always have those memories. there are no explanations sometimes. in fact, that statement holds true for most occasions. dirt dried over time, the crumbles thoughtlessly swept away with the other unwanted debris. observations are without parallel, and it has to
be this way in these unruly times of suddenly unannounced trauma attacks. they are not gentle, they do not understand us.

gaze upon these barren fields, the harvest has been called off. at the current time, they are unaware if the process will ever resume. I heard them say it. I assume that they are hiding something from us, and why I assume this I am unaware. there are no explanations sometimes. out of all the ridiculous unnecessary roads I've traveled, this is not in my top 4. not even in the top 12. it is a vacuum of minds, a total destroyer of rational existence and thought processes.

it is the ultimate obscene.

something from earlier this month...
01/09/2023

something from earlier this month...

31/08/2023

something I wrote today...

I miss the way you feel tight in my arms...
I miss the way you caused me genuine happiness...
I miss the scent that you leave on me...
I miss the passionate nights that become early mornings...
I miss the way your lips taste when they are on mine...
I miss the laughter and the inside jokes...
I miss the way it feels when I see your car pull up...
I miss the way we would sit for hours doing absolutely nothing...
I miss the love I could see in your precious blue eyes...
I miss you.

31/08/2023

something I did today...

when the lights go out, the true pain arrives...
amplifies my loneliness...
reminds me of the emptiness...
it reminds me to hurt.

my world is so small that I can barely occupy it...
in this nocturnal hour the wheels start turning faster...
a jigsaw puzzle, and it is missing my favorite piece...
a hole so vast it can never be filled...
it reminds me to hurt.

when the candle flame dies, the true pain is born...
please come and fill me...
please come and fix it with your voice...
I am the skull smashed into concrete,
and I am the hammer that ends it all...
it reminds me to hurt.

amplifies my loneliness...
reminds me of the emptiness...

it reminds me to hurt.

28/08/2023

something I did today...

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is this all a test?
were we ever even there?

dead flowers shed their lovely petals as I hold them.
they have perished...
I recall the physical presence, but forget the sensation
of physical touch...
this is like a perpetual mind-f**k, and I'm getting
pretty sore...

is this all a test?
were we ever even there?

greenest blades of grass burns beneath my feet as I trudge forward.
they have perished...
I cannot recall exactly how it feels to me, but I know how it feels when physical touch decays...
this is like a perpetual mind-f**k, and I'm getting
pretty sore...

something from another day...💚🖤💚🖤
27/08/2023

something from another day...

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something from a couple days ago...💚🖤💚🖤
27/08/2023

something from a couple days ago...

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something I did today...💚🖤💚🖤
10/08/2023

something I did today...

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