Riding Far, LLC

Riding Far, LLC Transformative Experiences for Horses and Riders All riders, regardless of experience or discipline, meet challenges along the way. Paul T. Haefner. in Physics.

Riding Far, LLC was founded over 20 years ago with a simple idea that riders could benefit from a better understanding of themselves, their horses, and how to create change. We help riders move through these challenges. This is more than your typical sport psychology or horse training. We have dedicated ourselves to create transformative experiences for equestrians and horses through compassionate

and expert education, mentorship and guidance. We meet every rider and horse where they are and create deeply personal and meaningful experiences. Our work inspires change where traditional approaches have often failed. We ground ourselves in an innovative integration of modern human psychology and horsemanship, drawing inspiration from a wide range of human psychological disciplines and the best of classical and modern horsemanship including equine ethology and biomechanics. We are passionate about our own personal and professional growth in order to bring our clients current, comprehensive, informed, and inspired guidance. PhD

Dr. Haefner is a licensed clinical and sport psychologist in private practice in Northern Virginia with more than 30 years of professional experience. In addition to his Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology, Dr. Haefner is a Certified Clinical Hypnotherapist and a Certified Master Practitioner of Neuro-linguistic Programming. He also holds a B.S. In his practice, he provides personal/professional development, sport psychology consultation, and a broad range of other therapeutic services to adults, adolescents and children. An avid equestrian since his childhood, Dr. Haefner has combined his love for horses and lifelong equestrian experience with his knowledge of human psychology in order to help people transform themselves and their relationships with their horses. He enjoys working with riders of all levels and disciplines tackling the many and varied challenges that arise along the way. He helps riders transform self-doubt into confidence, fear into courage, distractibility into focused concentration, and pressure and anxiety into effective performance. In addition to helping people with their riding goals, Dr. Haefner uses the unique relationship between people and their equine partners to help people attain their own personal growth goals such as increased self-confidence, assertiveness, trust, intimacy and balance in relationships. Dr. Haefner is passionate about learning. He is committed to integrating newly acquired knowledge and skills into his work with riders. His most recent learning venture into interpersonal neurobiology has led to Riding Far to partner with Neurofficient to offer their clients neurofeedback brain training. Dr. Haefner is also a steadfast advocate for research in the field of human-horse interaction. He assisted in founding the Research Committee for the Equine Assisted Growth and Learning Association. He served on the Board of Directors of the Horses and Humans Research Foundation (HHRF), having been honored to serve as President of the Board for three of those years. He continues his advocacy for research through his role as Scientific Advisor for HHRF. Dr. Haefner is passionate about teaching. He has taught every age and level from kindergarten to graduate school. He has served on the staff/faculties of The Hill School, Catholic Memorial High School, The Fielding Institute, The Lab School of Washington, and The Catholic University of America. He dedicated to educating riding instructors and trainers, as well as riders, about the psychology of teaching and learning. His goal is to help instructors and trainers become more effective teachers and riders become more effective learners. Justin Haefner

Justin Haefner is a professional trainer who specializes in the training and handling of young performance jumpers. He is the full time Trainer of Young and Developing Horses at St. Bride’s Farm where he focuses on giving international caliber jumping horses the best foundation possible for their later life on the international show circuit. Justin believes it is essential to understand how horses’ bodies move and function in order to effectively train horses. In his continuous pursuit of deeper knowledge of equine physiology and biomechanics, Justin is a student at the Vluggen Institute of Equine Osteopathy and Education. Justin is also committed to transforming the experiences of horses and their riders through his work with Dr. Haefner in Riding Far, LLC. He contributes his knowledge of the horse’s psychology and physiology to create a well-rounded and unique perspective on the relationship between horse and rider. The synergistic, collaborative combination of Justin’s training and horsemanship experience with Dr. Haefner’s experience helping people change creates powerful opportunities for riders to transform their relationships with themselves and their horse in large and small ways. Justin comes from a background in vaquero style natural horsemanship, spending his childhood highly interested in creating and understanding deep connections with horses. Time spent starting young horses, foxhunting, and dabbling in many different disciplines gave him a base to understand key elements of a horse’s solid foundation. His focus on bodywork and anatomy/biomechanics goes hand in hand with his deep interest in classical dressage. His focus with every horse, no matter their discipline, is to gift them with strength of mind, body and emotion. Much of his work is based on the teaching and philosophy passed down by masters such as Nuno Oliveira. While patiently and steadfastly working to positively influence the equestrian world, Justin is deeply committed to continue his personal education. He hopes to return to Portugal where he spent time riding at the Centro Equestre Leziria Grande with the Valença’s, and continued lessons with Patrick King. His interests are in improving his own biomechanics and posture as a rider, as well as knowledge of horse and human physiology, training through classical philosophy, and further understanding and ability in equine bodywork.

Great first day at the Finding Balance clinic. A fabulous, engaged, supportive and courageous group!!! Looking forward t...
08/30/2026

Great first day at the Finding Balance clinic. A fabulous, engaged, supportive and courageous group!!! Looking forward to tomorrow.

Psych Saturday: Two RoadsThis may be the hardest Psych Saturday I have ever written. Not because of the complexity of th...
08/29/2026

Psych Saturday: Two Roads

This may be the hardest Psych Saturday I have ever written. Not because of the complexity of the ideas or because of personal vulnerability. Rather, because I know that it can be (and will likely be) misinterpreted, misapplied, and/or misused at some time in some way that could lead to real harm. Yet, I feel strongly that avoiding difficult topics and hard conversations doesn’t serve anyone. So here it is, stated as plainly as I know how. My only ask is that your search for and embrace the two non-negotiable conditions I lay out below and keep those in mind as you contemplate what I am sharing.

Two horses come into the barn the same week, and you could say they need the same thing.

Both need to trust a person. Both need to feel safe enough to learn something. If you stopped there, at the level of what they need, you might reach for the same approach with each of them. And with one of them you would be making a serious mistake.

The first is young. Barely started. She has not met much of the world yet. She spooks at the tarp because the tarp is new, not because she has concluded that people bring tarps to hurt her. Nothing much has been written on her. She is not defended. She is unwritten.

With her, the work is what most of us were taught. Be clear. Be predictable. Ask small, and be clear in your ask. Let one good experience sit on top of another until they add up to something she can lean on. It is slow, it is not complicated, and it works.
The second horse has met plenty of the world. What he learned is that closeness is a trap.

He is not unwritten. He is written as if the world were a dangerous place. He is braced before you get there. And here is what took me a long time to understand: you can do everything you did with the young mare, patiently, kindly, for months... and it might simply roll right off him.

Not because he needs more time. Because good experiences cannot get into a system that has already made up its mind. He is not evaluating you. He decided about people before you showed up.

So the second road is not a slower version of the first one. It is a different road.

What it needs, at some point, is an interruption. A pattern that has closed around itself has to be opened before anything new can get in. Something has to happen that the old story does not account for. Usually that means a limit, held clearly, firm enough to interrupt what he is doing and give a scattered system something solid to organize around.

And this is the precise place where the whole thing goes wrong, in barns and in families and in therapy rooms.

"Some horses need firmness" is one of the truer sentences in horsemanship. It is also the favorite sentence of every rough hand who ever ruined an animal. The idea that a creature sometimes needs to be interrupted is the most abusable idea in this work, because it hands you permission and never mentions where permission ends.

So it comes with two conditions, and they are not negotiable.

It must not harm.

And it must resolve to safety.

Both. Not one. The interruption is never the point. It is only ever the first half of a sentence whose ending is: and then we came back, and you were all right.

That second condition is the one that gets dropped. And when it does, you get the counterfeit, which looks nearly identical from the outside and is a completely different thing. Pressure applied, and then... nothing. No return. No softening. No coming back together. Just a creature who got interrupted and left there.

That is not rehabilitation. That is stress with a story attached to it.
The research on children says this about as clearly as anyone could. Hard experience buffered by a relationship, one that reliably carries the child back to safety, is tolerable, and it can even build capacity. The same hard experience without that relationship is toxic. Same stressor. Two completely different outcomes. What changed was not the difficulty. What changed was whether anybody brought them back.

I think about this with people constantly. The difficult conversation that never gets repaired. The consequence handed down and then left to sit. The parent who is very clear about the limit and never quite finds a way back into the room afterward. Every one of those is the first half of a sentence, delivered as though it were the whole thing.

And when you do give the whole sentence, something happens that the gentle road cannot produce.

Because there are two kinds of trust, and they are not the same substance.

One says: I have always been comfortable with you.

The other says: I have been through something hard with you, and you brought me back.

The first is lovely, and it is fragile, because it has never been tested and neither of you knows what you are like when it counts.

The second has been tested. That is what it is made of.
The young mare will get there the easy way, and that is a gift, and I would not trade it.

But the horse who has already decided about people cannot get there that way. He does not need us to be gentler. He needs us to be trustworthy in the hard place, which is a different thing, and a harder one, and it asks considerably more of us than simple kindness does
Bring him back. Every time. That is the whole road.

~ Paul

I’ve been thinking a lot about the balance between giving a horse a really solid education and making sure they’re expos...
08/28/2026

I’ve been thinking a lot about the balance between giving a horse a really solid education and making sure they’re exposed to life as it actually happens.
I’ve seen horses that have been exposed to just about everything. They can go down the road, cross water, work cattle, deal with noise and activity and generally take life in stride. But sometimes there are gaps in the education that helps them find better physical and mental balance, use their bodies well, and allows us to do less rather than more as their training develops.
And I’ve seen the opposite. Horses with an incredible education in the arena that struggle when you take them outside of that carefully controlled environment.
I don’t think we have to choose between the two.
I want my horses to understand the aids, have balance and clarity, and have a thoughtful progression in their training. But I also want them to leave the arena, encounter things I couldn’t have planned for and learn how to deal with them.
Sometimes that means deliberately finding opportunities to do slightly ridiculous things with them. Because life with horses is going to provide plenty of those opportunities whether we plan for them or not.
And that’s how we came to the new unofficial tagline for the horse training business:

Well Educated Horses with a Tolerance for Dumb S**t.

~ Justin

📸Erin Gilmore Photography

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐚 𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐞, 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐮𝐩 𝐢𝐧 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐞'𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐮𝐩 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫𝐬.Every ride is a c...
08/26/2026

𝐖𝐡𝐞𝐧 𝐰𝐞 𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐞 𝐚 𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐞, 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐮𝐩 𝐢𝐧 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐦𝐨𝐯𝐞𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭. 𝐀𝐧𝐝 𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐡𝐨𝐫𝐬𝐞'𝐬 𝐡𝐢𝐬𝐭𝐨𝐫𝐲 𝐬𝐡𝐨𝐰𝐬 𝐮𝐩 𝐢𝐧 𝐭𝐡𝐞𝐢𝐫𝐬.

Every ride is a conversation between those two stories.

What if, instead of trying to change the outcome, we became more curious about what each of us is bringing to the partnership?

This weekend, Riding Far is bringing together three complementary perspectives to explore exactly that.

Dr. Catherine Wycoff will help riders discover greater ease and awareness through the Feldenkrais Method, while also exploring how horses move using SURE FOOT® pads and gentle hands-on techniques.

Dr. Paul Haefner will explore the stories we tell ourselves: how our histories shape those stories, how they influence what we notice and expect, and how they can show up in the way we learn, communicate, and ride.

And Justin Haefner will help riding participants bring those ideas into the saddle through individual lessons at the beginning and end of the weekend, creating the opportunity to experience what changes when both horse and rider begin to move with greater clarity.

Whether you're riding or joining as a non-ridden participant, you'll spend the weekend immersed in thoughtful discussion, practical demonstrations, horse observation, and the shared learning that happens when movement, psychology, and horsemanship are explored together.

𝐖𝐞 𝐬𝐭𝐢𝐥𝐥 𝐡𝐚𝐯𝐞 𝐚 𝐟𝐞𝐰 𝐧𝐨𝐧-𝐫𝐢𝐝𝐝𝐞𝐧 𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭𝐢𝐜𝐢𝐩𝐚𝐧𝐭 𝐩𝐥𝐚𝐜𝐞𝐬 𝐚𝐯𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐚𝐛𝐥𝐞 𝐟𝐨𝐫 𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐬 𝐰𝐞𝐞𝐤𝐞𝐧𝐝.

If you've been looking for a different way to understand both yourself and your horse, we'd love to have you join us.

𝐈𝐧𝐭𝐞𝐫𝐞𝐬𝐭𝐞𝐝? 𝐂𝐨𝐦𝐦𝐞𝐧𝐭 𝐈𝐍𝐓𝐄𝐑𝐄𝐒𝐓𝐄𝐃 𝐛𝐞𝐥𝐨𝐰 𝐚𝐧𝐝 𝐰𝐞'𝐥𝐥 𝐬𝐞𝐧𝐝 𝐭𝐡𝐞 𝐜𝐥𝐢𝐧𝐢𝐜 𝐝𝐞𝐭𝐚𝐢𝐥𝐬 𝐬𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐢𝐠𝐡𝐭 𝐭𝐨 𝐲𝐨𝐮𝐫 𝐃𝐌𝐬.

This week, Dr. Paul came back from four days studying equine brain science with Dr. Steve Peters and Amy Skinner, with p...
08/24/2026

This week, Dr. Paul came back from four days studying equine brain science with Dr. Steve Peters and Amy Skinner, with plenty still to process.

The conversation moved from nervous system regulation and the importance of allowing horses time to dwell, to Justin reflecting on choosing not to compete so he could spend more time developing the fundamentals at home.

Both offered plenty to think about as this week's intentions took shape.

What intention will guide your week?

📸 Erin Gilmore Photography

08/24/2026

Thanks for joining our exclusive live broadcast. Feel free to share your questions and interact with other participants in the chat.

Psych Saturday: Coming BackMost of us are carrying around a picture of a good relationship that has almost nothing to do...
08/22/2026

Psych Saturday: Coming Back

Most of us are carrying around a picture of a good relationship that has almost nothing to do with a good relationship.

The picture is smoothness. Two people who understand each other. A horse and a rider who never come apart. If you are doing it right there is no friction. So every time something goes wrong, we take it as evidence that something is wrong. With the horse, or with the person, or, most often, with ourselves.

I believed that for a long time. And it made me a worse therapist and a worse horseman, because a person who believes ruptures are failures will do almost anything to avoid one.

Then I learned something that turned my thinking upside down.

Researchers who study mothers and babies, the securely attached ones, the pairs you would hold up as the good outcome, went in and counted. Moment by moment. How often were the two of them actually in sync, reading each other, matched?

The finding… about thirty percent of the time.

Seventy percent of the interaction, in the healthiest pairs they could find, was some version of mismatch. Missing the signal. Reading it wrong. Getting a beat behind.

Which means the smooth picture is not merely hard to reach. It does not exist. Nobody is living there. Not the best mother, not the best horseman, not you on your best day.

So if health is not the absence of rupture, what is it?

It is what happens next.

Those mothers and their babies were not better at avoiding mismatches. They were better at coming back from them. The baby fusses, the mother misses it, the baby fusses harder, and then… she finds him. Over and over, all day long, out and back, out and back. And the thing the baby is learning, every single time, is not that the world is seamless. He is learning something far more useful.

He is learning that when it breaks, it gets fixed.
That is what security is made of. Not smoothness. Repair.

I think about this constantly with horses, because a horse asks the question more honestly than we do. You ask for something and he does not give it. You ask a bit louder than you meant to. He gets tight, his head comes up, he leaves you a little… and there it is. A rupture. Small, ordinary, and completely unavoidable if you are doing anything at all.

The question was never whether that would happen. It happens every day, to everyone. The question is what you do in the next few seconds.

Because a horse is running the same experiment the baby is. He is finding out, over and over, whether coming apart with you is survivable. Whether the pressure ends. Whether you come back. And he is not learning it from the times things went well. He is learning it precisely from the times they did not.

Which means every rupture is an opportunity you would not otherwise have had. You cannot teach a creature that recovery is possible in a relationship where nothing ever goes wrong. There is nothing to recover from. The trust that gets built in the coming back is a different, sturdier substance than the trust built by never having been tested.

I know that sounds like a consolation prize. It is not. It is the whole thing.

The horse who has never had a hard moment with you does not know what you are like in a hard moment. And someday there will be one, and he will find out then, with no evidence to go on. The horse you have come apart with, and come back to, forty times, knows exactly what you are like. He has data. That horse is not fragile.

Same with people. I have watched clients wait years to say a difficult thing, protecting a relationship from the friction they were sure it could not take. And what they had at the end of all that protecting was not a strong relationship. It was an untested one, which is a different thing wearing the same coat.

So the failure was never the rupture. The failure is the rupture that never gets repaired.

The ask that turned into a fight and just… ended there. The words that went wrong and never got revisited. The distance that opened up and got tolerated instead of crossed. That is where the damage lives. Not in the coming apart, which is inevitable and constant and no one's fault. In the not coming back.

And here is the mercy in it, if you are anything like me and you replay your bad moments at two in the morning. You do not have to be smooth. You were never going to be. Thirty percent is the number, and that is in the good pairs.

You only have to be reliable about the return.

Miss the signal. Get it wrong. Ask too hard, or too soon, or on a day when neither of you had it. Then go back. Go back gently and without a speech, and let the horse find out one more time what he is finding out every day anyway.

That it broke, and you fixed it.

That is not the exception to the relationship.

That is the relationship.

~ Paul

PC - Erin Gilmore Photography

Highly recommend the Horse Brain science clinic. Almost finished with level 1. The horse brain dissection was fascinatin...
08/21/2026

Highly recommend the Horse Brain science clinic. Almost finished with level 1. The horse brain dissection was fascinating and amazing…

08/20/2026

“Leonard is one of the most enthusiastic horses we have in the barn… especially when it comes to obstacles! I’m excited to see big changes in his relaxation, balance, and rhythm through this bull line.” ~ Justin

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Winchester, VA
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