06/25/2025
I’ve been working with people who often feel like they are at the lowest point in their lives for about the past 9 years. It can be difficult for them to do the hard work, to open up, to talk about or even admit difficult past experiences. They do so in different degrees depending on how willing they are to change, heal, and even hope for a different and better life.
I ask them sometimes what good qualities they have developed through their struggles because it’s nice to focus on strength and positivity when you’re only able to see problems, darkness, and brokenness. Many of them can’t relate to the trait of courage, yet most of them in at least some small ways are participating in some really difficult soul searching.
Many people will never look that closely for fear of what they will find. Often these people do so much hard work it’s hard to believe this much progress can be made in just 45 days time, especially in spite of feeling lost and hopeless when I first meet them. That is courage, particularly when doing the work brings up so much fear. Not having fear in difficult or scary situations is not bravery; the nicest word I can describe that would be ignorance. It could also be arrogance, pride, stupidity - but it’s not courage. It impressive to see these people finding so much courage in the face of terrifying circumstances. I like to remind them of that and hope they can see the courage they are displaying precisely because they are doing hard things in spite of their fear.
Some don’t make it, some need to learn a few more hard lessons but get to build on what they learn during their time in treatment, and some make radical changes to their lives and things get much better for them.
It helps me in my journey through this wonderful and terrifying thing called life to see them grow and change and hope.
“…you don’t need to feel brave to act. That’s what brave is, an act and an action.” Jimmy Carr
