Dena Sisk Foman, Author and Speaker

11/16/2021

10/03/2021

Frat Boy and Rainbow Man

It was an early morning heading back to Florida after a beautiful weekend in the motherland-a wedding in Chapel Hill. Our beautiful niece and our new nephew were married. Nothing really beats fall in North Carolina. Nothing beats love.

On the trip home, I had the chance to finish my book, The Miracle of Mindfulness by Thich Nhat Hanh. I embraced the message on presence and connection to all things. Many of the chapters were simple, but I found myself going back and re-reading them to make sure that I caught what the book was teaching. One of the lines that stood out to me was "whether or not one is alive depends on whether one is mindful". I have always felt the greatest tragedy on earth is living an unlived life. The precious moments of daily life are often taken for granted. I felt this more than ever in North Carolina as I watched the leaves starting to fall from the trees. There was just a hint of color arriving on the tops of the trees and bushes. The air was fresh and soothing. How on earth did I take this for granted for all the 31 years that I lived there? I felt more connected to the earth and the world in those moments.

As we got home mid-day, I was excited to have the rest of the afternoon to be mindful. Just like Sunday is a Sabbath for many, a day of mindfulness is very similar. The book teaches us to walk a little slower and do things a little simpler on the day of mindfulness. In this spirit, I chose to walk instead of run for exercise.

I was tired and did not want to exercise at all. Nonetheless, I jumped on the treadmill and decided to take a class with Andy Speers at Peloton. I had never taken his class. As soon as the class started, his mannerisms told me that he was probably not my cup of tea. Shortly after the class started, he mentioned his college days and living the frat house. Nope. Not my cup of tea. Despite this, I decided to stay. Shortly thereafter, Andy asked the class to feel their heart and said "If you can feel your heart, there is nothing that you cannot do." My judgment started to fade. Maybe he was not so bad after all. How did he know that this would catch my attention. You see, my friend who we call Rainbow man, has taught me that when you are feeling down, you should always put your hand on your heart. This is your purpose." My friend, Rainbow Man, stays on my mind. We worked out together for several years before COVID and his illness. He is dealing with his 3rd round of cancer and fighting with more bravery and peace than anyone I have ever known. He inspires me more than I can write. Andy went on about the connectedness of all things. He told the class to slow down and feel the connection between your feet, your shoes and the treadmill. He said, "if you will slow a bit, you can feel the energy of your movement between your feet, your shoes and the treadmill. It is all connected, just like we are connected." Ok, this frat boy has won me over. This was no accident after I just finished a book talking about the connectedness of all things.

As the class went on Andy continued to talk about energy and then spoke of elevating your vibration. What a minute! It is a rare thing that I meet people that understand vibration and that speak of it. I must say that almost every time that I take a Peloton class, I am blown away by the synchronicity of it. I would love to know the training that their instructors go through. It is truly no mistake that they are so successful. They are not only teaching physical fitness, but the key to happiness- presence and mindfulness with every class. I feel blessed to be tuned into this frequency.

After my treadmill class, I opened the packages that arrived this weekend. I had forgotten that I had ordered a rainbow Christmas tree ornament. What a lovely surprise. Rainbow man and Frat Boy had made today perfect.

09/29/2021

Let it Flow

I have enjoyed writing this new book. My main character goes through some familiar trauma and comes through it into a new and beautiful life.

I have gotten through the trauma portion of the book which was not difficult to write. I certainly can relate to this character on many levels. I could feel some of the pain. After all, I have written about pain for a while. I hope I did the pain justice. But, I want to focus on the best part of her story, her transformation. I know where she is headed spiritually, but I am not sure how that journey will unfold.

It feels good to be able to write this book as an inspired writing rather than it feeling like another deadline. This makes the story flow easier. It will come and I know that I will enjoy that part of the story as much as I am enjoying living an inspired life. I want her story to be similar to mine, but entirely different at the same time. It is kind of fun to just create a scenario that I can see in my head and put it on paper.

This is exactly where I need to be at this time- and the story will present and unfold as it was meant to. It is an exciting journey.

09/27/2021

Silence

Listening has taught me far more than speaking ever could. When life gets a little crazy, as it often does, I reach for silence. If I can quiet my mind, the answers appear. Love appears. I no longer waste my time on creating answers to problems in my head. I no longer try to force anyone to my way of thinking. My thoughts will lie and lead me down the wrong path. I have a distrust of what my mind says. I trust silence and its language.

During the last year, silence has been more accessible. Despite the painful events of COVID, the quiet period have been a gift that has rewarded me in immeasurable ways. It has led me to an inner peace that is more comforting that anything I have to say.

I hope that you seek the silence and is beautiful answers.

09/22/2021

Happy Wednesday!

09/21/2021

Let it be Soft

As I was listening to a podcast today, I was struck by the speaker's reference to softness. The speaker was instructing an audience member on how to handle dealing with people that are at a lower vibration. As we all know, this becomes a challenge for us as we move to a higher state of being. The things we used to see as challenges are no longer challenges. Our traumas are lessons and guiding posts, rather than earth shattering experiences. We no longer engage in certain conversations. Today, more than ever, I run into people that are on a different plane that me. I make no judgment but am very careful in where I chose to focus my attention and energy.

The speaker said to the audience member "as you move to your new vibration, you will learn to take others where they are. Their dramas will be soft and will melt before your eyes. You cannot change anyone and nor do you want to." I love the image of another person's drama being soft in my experience. For me, this means that it is comfortable for me no matter what. It allows me to let them have their emotions without me needing to emotionally attach at all.

Words like soft, gentle and ease seem to be my choice right now. I just like the thought and feel of it. Where can you turn something that was once a firm position into something more soft?

09/20/2021

Do Hard Things

Before COVID, I signed up to do a 10k and felt pretty inspired by the thought of crossing the finish line. I had been on a health journey and had run several 5ks but never further. I had never contemplated anything further as I gave into my joint problems and arthritis. While I was running every week, it was never more than a few miles. I wanted to push myself to the next level. That clearly was not a marathon or even a half marathon, but a 10k sounded like just the right fit. Like all things, the race was cancelled due to COVID. Now, in 2021, the race is only three months away.

A few weeks ago, I had lunch with one of my old friends that I have not seen in a long time. She was embarking on a new life at the age of 50 and was starting to travel alone. I knew she was a runner and invited her to come to Florida and join me. This put a lot of welcome pressure on me to train and complete the race. While all of my running friends were joining, they were used to me being a few feet behind and taking walking breaks. I am very excited about my friend, Amy, joining me. Something about her joining, gave me the jolt to train a little harder.

Over the last few months, I have slacked off in my exercise. I continued to exercise but with great ease. My results were different and I knew why. I still wanted to achieve what I set out to do, but it was hard. The “hard” theme kept popping up in other areas of my life. I wanted to learn Spanish. I signed up for an online course, but after a few weeks, it was “hard”. I wanted to learn more about stock trades. But, learning puts and options was “hard”. It has been my pattern for years. I do things with full force and energy until I define them as hard. Then I lose interest and quit.

What does the word “hard” even mean? When I look up the definition it states: “solid, firm and rigid. Not easily broken, bent or pierced.” The second definition was: “ done with a great deal of strength or force.” Wow, there are a few words in the definition that I am not fond of at all. I do not like the word rigid and have worked hard to be loose and free with life. There was nothing about me that wanted rigidity. Secondly, I firmly believe that nothing should be done with force. I certainly needed to start thinking about my training with some other words. Maybe the word “hard” needs to be on my “do not use” list. Because I kept telling myself things were hard, I started to believe it. I have to speak to myself in a more gentle manner if I want to finish what I start. My stories about the things I am doing need to be a bit more uplifting so that I am inspired to finish what I start.

The funny thing is that I was always attracted to the phrase “Do hard things”. I think I will start my own new affirmation by saying “Don’t do hard things” or “Make hard things fun”.

09/19/2021

For the first time in a long time, feeling inspired to write.

12/28/2020

Spending time with a 7 year old

Have you ever just taken a day to play? For weeks, I have had a date scheduled with a 7 year old. This little one, daughter of a friend of mine, has captured my heart. Her imagination is so vivid. When we play, we travel to Paris, Venice, New York and even made up places. We are princesses in foreign lands.

Last week was a bit hectic and just before our date, life started to get a little messy. But, I have learned to just let things happen. No matter how crazy it gets, noting will steal my magic. Not even a phone call an hour before I enter our pretend magical place. No. I was going to give this 7 year old all of my attention no matter what. We started the day getting our nails done and decided to go to the zoo. We wandered the zoo just taking in everything. We never stayed in one place too long, as her attention span was not that focused- but that was ok. We had our moment of excitement with each site before us. We ended up on the carousel and rode on the fastest animals in the world! We then climbed in the trees and talked with parrots. It really was magical. How in the world did I miss all of this when my children were smaller. I had been to that zoo so many times and never took the time to enjoy it. I was too focused on other things- what I had to do that day or that week. The truth is that it was always waiting for me and there was no need to skip the fun because of things I felt like I had to do.

When we left, I told my little friend that I would take her to her favorite restaurant. I was starving and was ready to feed my body some delicious keto-friendly food. We pulled into McDonalds and it really did not matter that there was nothing keto on the menu. I could wait. It was enough to see her enjoy her favorite McFlurry and listen to her recap our day.

In the coming days, I hope that you get the time to spend with a child that has not been tainted by the comings and goings of the world. It will certainly center you and get you in touch with all that matters in the world.

Today, I hope you play.

12/15/2020

Help Someone See the Sunrise

If you are in South Florida, did you see that sunrise today? It was such a mesmerizing sight. As I was driving to the park to run just before 7, I kept losing my thought in the red and pink colors that were covered with fog. In some spots the red was deep and others subtle patches of color. When I arrived at the park to meet my running buddies, the park was empty. A hollow cloud of fog covered the area and the birds were making a bit of a ruckus. I still can't figure out where all the birds were hiding, but it felt like there were thousands of them just above my head. I always wonder what they are saying. It was a glorious way to start the day.

For the last few days, I have been trying to be more intentional in what I think and feel. I have skipped a bit of the chatter on social media as I do not want to clog my head with the opinions of others. Sometimes, I need to drown that noise in order to be clear on what I want to do with my days. I know that I want my days to be playful and in tune with what nature offers. This was a great start.

The night before I had journaled my running goal for today. I wanted to run 2 miles at or near my best pace consistently. Just as I met my goal and completed my 2 miles, I was beside 2 ladies walking. I said "good morning." They replied with "How many times do you do that around this track?" We started talking and I asked them if they had witnessed the gorgeous sunrise. One of them did not even know there were colors in the sky during the morning hours. The other lady told her friend to pay attention and told her what a gift the sunrise was today. I bid them well and wished them a nice day. I am glad that we chatted and I hope the lady makes it a point to see the sunrise. It would be a shame to miss it just because our eyes are not focused on the beauty that surrounds us.

12/06/2020

I saw this quote earlier this week and it struck me. At first, it hit me as a bit condescending. But, after reflecting on this for a while, I love the message it sends. If we could all be strong enough and confident enough in who we are, the words of others could never hurt us. We would understand words that are unkind are a reflection of where the speaker is in their development and have nothing to do with the one spoken about. As easy as this sounds, it is hard to do.

I like to think that when someone is lashing out and takes it out on me that I am strong enough to send them love. After I saw this quote this week, I was once again faced with being the receiver of words from someone having a bad day. Even though my initial reaction was hurt, I was able to stop and send love, happiness and peace to the speaker. I understood this person was having a difficult time in their life. I am still not sure why I was the target, but I was willing to let them have that. I am grateful for the clarity to understand and the opportunity to love.

It seems in these crazy times that many of those around us are suffering in some way. Perhaps, we can make a difference by strengthening ourselves enough to love someone through their pain- even if their pain is directed at us.

Have a blessed day!

11/20/2020

That Space "In-Between"

I wrote a lot of about my journey to 50 years old. For many years, I have been on a quiet spiritual path. The more I moved into that space that feels more and more natural, the more I realize that so many are on the same journey- but they just do not voice it. After all, so much of the path to peace is lined with not having the need to be heard.

A few months ago, a friend of mine posed a question on social media about whether we operate from fear or from a goal setting mindset. I responded and my answer clearly reflected my journey. A few of my friends, unbeknown to me, were on the same path. We read the same authors and followed the same teachers. It lead to some great conversations that resulted in a spiritual book club. To my surprise, the majority of people were males - and lawyers! I had always hoped that litigators would eventually find a spiritual side. I hoped that I could be me in my professional setting. Perhaps it was my ego and pre-conceived notions that were keeping me from seeing what was directly in front of me.

It has been a refreshing experience as we started just after the election with a book that focused on radically accepting the things in our space. A lot of time was spent on empathy and sending peace to those that think differently. Boy, did I need those chapters! I think we are all excited to be on this journey together and to navigate our lives into greater ease. We all realize that we want a better world, but we are willing to start with ourselves.

We are embracing the space in between life as we have known it to where we are headed. I am excited to share a part of this journey with you. I wish you all peace. I wish you all happiness. I wish you love.

08/25/2020

Rage Against the Computer Screen

When I hear comments about how horrible 2020 has been, I know that while it has been a tough year, I have had tougher years. So much has changed this year and it has caused me to shift in many ways. It has caused me to re-think exactly what I want in my space and how I am in control of the things I allow. 2020 has forced me to confront my own sense of rigidity- "this must be done now" or "I can't leave the house with these lines on my face" or "I must drive this kind of car." During COVID, I replaced some of my "musts". " I must eat during my fasting windows" " I must stick to this diet with no deviations". Do we always need "musts"?

Business is another area that has just been turned upside down. Initially, it was scary. What would we do if no one was on the road to crash or in a store to fall? What if the insurance companies decide they will wait this thing out? How do I get business when I HATE technology? How will I learn the technology or change my attitude about it? I am adjusting slowly to the Zoom and the other dumb programs, but if I am honest, I really do not like it! (My attitude still needs some work) Thankfully, I was wrong about insurance companies settling cases and have done relatively well. But, then I feel the need to put something on social media about these great settlements I have obtained. But like with all things, I stop for a moment. I think about how bragging on me or advertising is just not comfortable for me. I am seeing people do it that have never done it before- but I just can't make myself do it. I make no judgment on them and in ways admire their ability to speak about their accomplishments. It is just not me. As airy fairy as it is, I believe that my work speaks for itself and that I will get new clients without having to tap into my ego. Thankfully it has worked so far, but I have struggled with feeling the need to "be like everyone else". The truth is- "I'm not like everyone else and I know that I only do things that feel authentic."

I do not think I understood how this was all impacting me until yesterday. I noticed that no matter what the reason for a Zoom conference, I HATE them. It makes me feel like a prisoner. I have no problem with the same meeting in person- but being trapped at a computer makes me crazy. I started to notice how much the aisles in the grocery store were bothering me. The aisles were crowded and I could feel the fear. The grocery store? Really, Dena- get over yourself. But, the truth is that I really, really miss real human interaction. I am not sure that I will ever accept that virtual is all that we have and that the crowded grocery store aisle is the extent of in person communication. I miss hugs and shaking hands. I just refuse to believe it is all over. I had to take a moment yesterday to go let my anxiety set it and then make a list of the positive aspects and I was shifted back into place.

I hope you are all weathering this storm and finding the positive. I hope that you are getting more in touch with you and what you want out of life. I can't wait until this is over, so I can see your lovely faces. Happy Tuesday!

06/10/2020

Love Them For What They Didn't Do

I have not posted in a while as things in the world have been a bit upside-down. Nonetheless, I see some beautiful things evolving. I am confident that we are entering some place we have never seen before and it is far more beautiful than where we were. I see something changing in me. My priorities have shifted in a very significant way. The things that used to be important- being a certain size, luxury cars, fancy clothes, Botox and the quest for more money- are no longer as important. I am starting to appreciate those friendships that I have even more. I am enjoying weeding out what is not useful to me. My circle is warm and in alignment with me.

While COVID did not hit me as hard as it did some others, I have not been immune to the happenings around me. The deaths of Ahmed Arbury, Brionna Taylor and George Floyd were a far greater threat to my security than any other story facing our people. As most of you know, I have three mixed race boys and my husband is black. This could have been any of them. I saw a meme that simplifies what I feel: "when you have black sons, you pray a little different." Fear of the police has been a dominant theme in our lives as our boys have aged. The aftermath of these deaths was almost paralyzing. The actions and re-actions of other people bothered me more than anything I can remember in a long time. For the most part, I am able to separate my life from the feelings of others and do not feel hurt by how others feel. This was different. I can accept that people think and feel differently. but I certainly do not have those people who think opposite of me in my close circle. This is not because they are bad but because it is not useful to my spiritual growth.

As I have been struggling with how to love some that are close to me that view things differently, it has been hard. Perhaps, as hard as anything I have done. How do I love people that I feel have betrayed me by supporting things against my family? I can let others go, but what happens when it is family? How can my husband's side of the family be so different than mine? Yesterday, I listened to the words of my cousin who has a podcast. My cousin has been an "outsider" in our family. His difference, being a gay man, has been apparent and something that was never fully supported. He has struggled for years. He is now 60 years old. On yesterday's podcast, he discussed learning how to love his dad before he died. He said "I was able to thank him for who he was and who he was not". My cousin learned to love him for who he was not. Perhaps, his dad taught him more by being who he was - or was not. This was powerful and perhaps the only words that have reached me in struggling with this issue that has been going on for most of my life. My difference has always been there but I have never made peace with how to allow it to be in my space. I am still working on loving people for who they are not. Sometimes, we think we are further along in our spiritual development than we are and things like this help us to work harder. I know that all things happen to help us become better humans and this situation is doing just that. I am thankful for the words of my cousin and for my recognition that my response has not been healthy. I will get there.

I have continued on the path of physical health. That birthday 5k happened along with so many friends across the US. It was so successful, that i am now running about 10-15 miles per week. The next stop is the 10k at the Marathon of the Palm Beaches in December, 2020.

Have a blessed Wednesday and lets do our best to love people for who the are- and who they are not.

04/15/2020

Last Wed at 49

Needless worry. I have found myself a bit annoyed at news reports as usual. A few weeks ago, I saw the grim projection that we would lose 100,000-200,000 lives in the US to corona virus. I kept wondering why they would even put out such a story. Is it to make it look so bad that when the numbers are less they look good? Why worry us so much when the real numbers are now projected to fall far short of this. Although 60,000 deaths is certainly tragic, it is not the multiplied numbers projected. Today, I have seen many stories saying we will have to social distance until 2022 or that colleges may not start in the fall. But, what if they do start? What if this thing goes away or a cure or vaccine is found? Why would we worry about something that has not happened. It is really taking up needless room in my head and heart. So much so, that 50 may be the end of my tenure on social media. I would rather take it as it comes. If I were to die today, I hope that I would not be spending my time in needless worry. I hope that I would be doing the things I love with the people I love. Every day- and I mean every day- even in quarantine- is a gift. These are not wasted days. They are days of reflection and precious time with our families. I thank God for that gift and refuse to allow grim projections to spoil my today.

I am not sure how my body is doing this, but it is running well over 3 miles a day. When I take off, I can just feel that movement and warm air- and I get lost. Today I went 3.56 miles. I would like to find a way to be a little faster, but nonetheless I am satisfied with they way my last Wednesday being 49 is shaping up. I do continue to struggle with food in many ways during this quarantine. Namely, I am just bored with food. But, this too shall pass. I try to not to get too hung up in the rigidity of anything right now- except my fasting.

I hope that you all have a beautiful Wednesday and that you do not waste a minute on needless worry.

Be well and God Bless.

04/09/2020

13 days to go

Settle in...you can do it. These are the words that came to me today as I set out on my jog. Running/jogging is not my thing but it gives me a rush like nothing else.

I have not posted much during COVID-19 as so much has changed. My trip to Italy was cancelled (and I am still fighting for refunds), my birthday was cancelled and my sons graduation was cancelled. These disappointments have taught me some valuable lessons. Despite the upset, my family is good. We are more than healthy and my body is moving in ways that I never knew it could. I am connecting with my family in ways we never have. We are all involved in the "What is for Dinner?" question. We have learned to be a little more creative in the way we do things. We have learned what we can live without. Overall, we will emerge better than before and- that is more than I could ask for.

As I took off today, my legs were sore. My neck was having spasms and it was hot. But, that calm voice within said "just settle in". As the music kicked in and my legs started to get adjusted, I settled in. Every 5-10 minutes I would repeat "just settle in". I plan to run a 5k on my 50th birthday, April 22. To date, I have gotten up to 1.5 miles. But today, I settled in and went 2.18 miles. I only have to add .92 miles to complete my mission. I will settle in and do it.

Eating has been a bit of a challenge during this pandemic. Besides snacks being everywhere, boredom with food sets in. The one thing I have stuck to was my fasting as it has become my best friend. Thankfully, I have not gained any of the weight back but losing has stalled. This week I switched it up to juice only with one meal during fasting hours and I dropped 3 lbs that I had added. Just because we are at home it does mean letting it all go.

Yesterday, one of my Peloton instructors said one of my favorite things I have heard during this "Girl don't let fear mess up your wig." Just settle in and keep moving.

Hope you all are staying safe during this time. Settle in- you can do it!

03/24/2020

29 days to go!

I have hesitated in writing or posting for the last few weeks. It is tough to find calm in the storm and I never want to add to the precipitation. I don't like to speak until I have something to say. Despite my understanding of how I process exposing myself to the throws of stress, I am often attracted to it. I revert back to watching the news as if it is going to change minute by minute. If it doesn't change, then I watch what everyone anticipates and their opinions of how things should be. I start paying attention to the blame game - which is something I strongly oppose. Eventually, I get pulled back to a state where I am not who I want to be.

When I revert back, I go back to worry. How will I keep my family safe? What are we going to do when I can't get a case to trial? How will we get paid? Oh my goodness, NYC is closed and that is how I get paid? Where will our money come from? My son just got laid off and how can I support him? How much more money do I have to lose after losing everything paying for our trip to Italy? Will my son be able to graduate this year? How will we pay for college? Will my kids be able to stand being here this long with nothing to do? When all of these things are in my head, the last thing I need to do is to look at the complaints that everyone else voices. Further, I know that worry serves no purpose and beats up that immune system that I work so hard to keep in line.

Over the weekend, I decided to stop watching and to read a few books- nothing heavy- just lighthearted fiction. I can not remember a day that I have enjoyed as much as Sunday- with no where to go and no one to see. I love these days- especially in the Florida sunshine. Generally, I am good at connecting with God and my surroundings and tuning everything out of my space. I worked out at home and properly meditated. I needed to get grounded. I returned to focusing on the beautiful things that are happening. We have less pollution in the air and our animals are returning to waterways. We have so many kind people that have reached out to those less fortunate. People are walking outside, setting up volley ball tents and playing tennis. I have met neighbors that I did not know- albeit from a distance.

I felt guilty for wondering if I could still celebrate my 50th in the Keys next month. But, I do want to go and I will go if the Keys open and it is safe. Life is to be lived and enjoyed. It is to be enjoyed now, and not in some future time. We are not promised tomorrow. I trust that the Universe has a bigger plan for me and I will walk in faith.

Despite the gyms being closed, I have managed to work out every single day. BUT, the cookies have called me too much. I know what gluten does to me- and boy are my sinuses paying the price. I know what sugar does and even after losing 52 lbs, I can see a small stomach pooch. NO! I know it is more important than ever to eat clean and to keep our immune system in tact. With that, I am re-committing myself to put the sugar and gluten down. I stepped on the scale today and I was up 3 lbs. That is not going to happen. It was a good wake-up call.

I hope that everyone is staying safe and finding some way to find your stillness. Panic never solves anything. We will get through this stronger and healthier.