05/13/2024
Denim Day 2024.
The Dark Edition.
You can not Bleach away SA.
What are you going to do? It's been years old chapters that need not be reopened.
Sometimes I am just the passenger on a vessel that helplessly observes the events of the world that occur as I find myself on this healing path.
Sometimes my dreams aren't in English;
sometimes they terrify me.
Sometimes I am so headlong in work that I;
sometimes crash a little along the way.
Physically, I can't bleach away the feelings.
Mentally, I can't bleach away the feelings.
I can't bleach the brain of the thoughts that were uninvited.
I'll ne'er be able to clean this all the way up.
I wish I could report better news.
I am just sensitive, and feeling all of the feeling is a taxing excursion in a convalescent state.
There will always be a part of me that is avoidant of this.
There will always be a part of me that is avoidant of that.
I thought, by isolating in healing I would come back to my people better than ever.
Then I found myself at my one of my people's funeral. There was no time left.
I know that I alone am the keeper of my keys at this point.
I have come a long way that is sure.
I know I am the captain of my life, and all others the captains of their own.
I am so proud of how far I have come in these years, yet I would be remorse if not to say that to lack the congenialities of the past, is a difficult feat with a high cost.
The pain of lost contact with those who I once loved as family losing our touch somewhere along the adventure.
I can not help that I have taken for granted the power of long-standing friendships.
I can not help that some long-standing friendships do end.
I just don't want to be a dark cloud I don't want to be a cloud at all.
I can't bleach away my own experience which has made me tough in ways I never thought I could be.
I can't bleach away triggering moments, but I have learned to create moments that aren't as triggering and foster those moments for others.
Through this most recent loss I am compelled further to continue down this dark path with the light within me and the stars above me. Who else is out here? Do you remember me? Can I help you? Are we friends yet?
We are going for lightning bolts over here. I am a different person than the last we met because I can't bleach away a few things but I am here for you just the same.
We cross paths for reasons but our generation must not grow complacent in maintaining friendships digitally.
This winter has been rough for everyone on this planet. This Spring and Summer are anew.
I encourage you to reach out.
I welcome you to set up a studio visit Mondays and Fridays to catch up. I am also here for you with a little cheese therapy at the Farmer's Markets Saturday Sundays and Tuesdays June- October. Do you want to do something else? Contact me because I am your friend and you are not alone.
[email protected]
Photo Credit: The Refinery Photo Studio