04/21/2026
I was going through the notes on my phone this morning, and came across this. I have a tendency to write things I have no intention of sharing, and years later posting it for the world. I hope my past self can forgive me 😅
Originally written in September of 2021, a time when I was getting back in touch with my inner artist, trying to decipher the “why” behind what I wanted to create. It was pure brainstorming at the time, informed by years of finding refuge in nature, and periods of grief and wonder.
At the time, I felt lost… but looking back, I realize I wasn’t. I was just starting down a path I desperately wanted to travel but was afraid to do so…
While I don’t think I have fully achieved these goals with my art yet, all of this still feels intensely true. I know now that I am, and have been, on the right path.
Caveat: the last sentence is a little extreme. I think I was just trying to end my writing with a bang 🤣
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⭐️I want to show you what the world looks like through my eyes⭐️
I’m scared no one will get it
I’m scared it will be seen as boring/frivolous
I want it to blow minds
I want it to change minds
I want to find more people like me
I want to show the strength hidden beneath perceived weakness
“I am wilting, yet my roots grow deeper”
I want people to like it
I want to be more than wall art
I want to be more than something pleasant
I want to show depth and meaning
I don’t want to hide my soul from the world. I want people to look at my art and see my soul in its most honest form.
(Editors note: Hi world, I’m sharing my soul here)
*I don’t want to be confined to societal rules yet I want to be accepted by society*
I want to create things people will like but I don’t want what people like to be a limitation
I want to be seen as someone who can create beauty out of anything, including death
I want to help others to see the beauty in anything, including death
I want to express how painful, not just rewarding, it can be to witness said beauty
I wish I could make you understand the struggle I am constantly having within. Battling myself, understanding I will never see all the beauty the world has to offer, and figuring out how to take in as much as I can. Photos don’t always capture the true essence, I want my art to do things justice. I want to pick out the details you NEED to see. The way the leaves curl up on themselves in autumn. The way that broken branch is still fighting to thrive, new leaves still trying to burst into the universe. I need you to see it or I will believe I am insane until I die.
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Thanks for reading. Attached is a photo I took last year that I think incapsulates some of these thoughts. The power of the natural environment on the mind. A large, forming cloud, rolling proud through the sunbeams. It filled me with a sense of power and pride, as if I were that cloud, illuminated with a warm glow.
I implore you to look. Look out the window, at that tree in your front yard that you see every day, that you may have been neglecting. Find the beauty in it again, the wonder and awe. Look at it like it’s the first time you’ve ever seen a tree. What does it show you? What can you learn from it?
