08/27/2026
The last three-plus months have been an incredible struggle. Truthfully, the last two years have been terribly hard.
From the time Tim’s health began declining, right up until now, I’ve been working, caring, problem-solving, and carrying the responsibility for the farm, the house, the property, the animals, and everything in between. And it’s wearing on me.
It’s been suggested to me that maybe I should sell everything, move somewhere where life would be easier, and spend my days enjoying retirement. But that’s never been the life I’ve dreamed about. I’m not someone who longs to sit on a beach all day. I love my home. I love my farm. I love my animals.
But this farm and this life were built around two people. And now there is only one.
Lately I’ve found myself wondering what God is trying to show me through all of this. Between Tim’s declining health, losing him, and everything that has happened since, I don’t know if God is telling me this chapter of my life is over, or if He is asking me to hang on and trust Him to make a way where I cannot see one.
I know that all things are possible with God and that there is nothing too hard for Him.
I can’t imagine my life without my animals. Honestly, every single day they have given me a reason to get out of bed, get dressed, and keep moving. They need to be fed. They need water. They need me. Caring for them has kept me moving forward, one day at a time.
This has been the hardest and darkest place of my life. Some days I feel like I’m hanging onto my faith like an anchor in a storm. There have been blessings in the middle of it, too, and I am thankful for every one of them.
I’m sharing this because I think sometimes we only share the parts of life where we can already see what God has done or is doing. Right now, I’m in the middle of it. I don’t have the answer yet. I’m still praying, still trusting, and still asking God to show me the way forward.
And maybe someone else needs to know today that it’s okay to trust God even when you can’t yet see where He is leading you.
“Teach me thy way, O LORD, and lead me in a plain path…” — Psalm 27:11 KJV