06/04/2026
A@A's Audition Notice! “PUFFS (Two Act Edition)”
Or: “Seven Increasingly Eventful Years at a Certain School of Magic and Magic”
We are seeking a diverse company of performers for this production. Please bring a headshot and resume.
Producer: Lori Holm
Directors: Rachel Glander and Dylan Ryan (with Lori Holm)
The Auditions
On Sunday, June 28 and Monday, June 29 from 6:00pm -9:00pm.
*Callbacks- Tuesday, June 30 (if needed TBD)
Auditions will consist of a variety of monologues and improvisation activities.
The Rehearsals
Rehearsals will run from 6:00 PM – 9:00 PM on Sundays, Mondays, and Wednesdays, although they will likely run later the week the show opens. Some Tuesdays may also be added. Rehearsals begin Wednesday, July 1 and run until the show opens on Friday, September 11. Not every person may be called to every rehearsal and/or for the full duration of each rehearsal; the time commitment depends on the size of the role. A full rehearsal schedule will be provided at auditions for your convenience.
Tech Week- Sunday, 9/6-9/10
The Location
All rehearsals and performances will be at The Arts at Angeloria’s, 223 Meriden-Waterbury Turnpike, Southington, CT
The Performances
(possible added show on Thursday, September 17)
7:00 pm performances on Fridays 9/11 & 9/18, and Saturdays 9/12 & 9/19
2:00 pm matinee performances on Sundays 9/13 & 9/20
SYNOPSIS
For seven years a certain boy wizard went to a certain Wizard School and conquered evil. This, however, is not his story. This is the story of the Puffs... who just happened to be there too. A tale for anyone who has never been destined to save the world.
Puffs is a story of friendship, loyalty, perseverance, and heart. It is a wild, fast, and hilarious parody comedy that follows the path of the self-proclaimed “least significant members of the least significant group” through the most important magical event in history. The show spans seven years in the shadows of a famous boy wizard, whose name may or may not rhyme with Perry Snotter. Puffs shows us that even those of us who feel insignificant at times can leave a large, lasting impact on the lives we touch.
Rated 16+ For adult language and sexual themes
What we are looking for:
● Due to language and adult themes, we are not casting anyone younger than 18 years old.
● You do NOT need to memorize materials (but familiarity will help)
● Strong comedic timing: The ability to deliver jokes and physical humor with precision, energy, and SPEED.
● Character interpretation: Demonstrating an understanding of the character's motivations and quirks.
● Ensemble work: Showing willingness to react to others and contribute to the overall scene.
● Make Choices: It’s hard to see what you can bring to a character if you’re afraid to bring anything to it.
● Accents! Good or bad, show us what you got!
Process
Auditions will include:
1) Monologues: Choose at least two from the sides provided. Most of the roles in this show portray SEVERAL different characters. Show us your versatility by playing these roles in completely different ways.
2) Wizard Duel: Show off your own magical attacks and deaths. Everybody in the show performs spells and must die at least once.
3) Emotional Rollercoaster: A spontaneous improv game. Surprises around every corner! Small groups (4-6 people) for improv activities to gauge your Puff energy!
Character Breakdown
NARRATOR (Female/Male Presenting)
The narrator of the story. She/he guides us through our entire show of Puffy-ness. British accent. Must be a great storyteller, as she/he must keep the audience engaged and updated on all the goings-on. Can be a bit of a know-it-all, but still relatable and appealing. Comedy skills a must, improv background is a plus. Any ethnicity/cultural background.
WAYNE HOPKINS (Male Presenting)
The hero. Totally uncool, but full of charm and heart. Loyal to a tee. Likes comic books and video games, knows nothing about magic or this weird magic world he is now a part of. Best friends with Oliver and Megan. Any ethnicity/cultural background.
OLIVER RIVERS (Male Presenting)
One of the main trio. Incredibly smart and cerebral, he is a math wiz, and proud of it; lovingly a nerd from New Jersey. After ending up at wizarding school, he finds out he isn’t the top of his class, and instead begins a fantastical journey of friendship and even some love, better than any algebra class could ever promise. Real comic chops, incredibly appealing, youthful. Any ethnicity/cultural background.
MEGAN JONES (Female Presenting)
One of the main trio; begins the show by only desiring to live up to her mother’s reputation: a dark wizard currently in Wiz Priz for being such a bad-ass Death Buddy in her youth. Favorite store: Hot Topic. Favorite color: black. Over time, her tough veneer begins to soften, as a budding romance with Oliver becomes apparent. Defiant and headstrong on the surface, the audience begins to see that her adamance of being completely unique and independent really stems from her desire to be loved and accepted. Any ethnicity/cultural background.
ERNIE MAC (Male Presenting)
Requires an actor capable of doing strong impressions. Ernie Mac: Proud. Loud. Pretty sure he’s the best. Strong comedic ability. Any ethnicity/cultural background.
HANNAH (Female Presenting)
Shy. Very shy. Requires playing several different roles back to back, so the ability to play a variety of character types a plus. Any ethnicity/cultural background.
J. FINCH FLETCHLEY (Male Presenting)
Improvisational skills are a plus. Boyish & fun. Chipper and happy except, when his life is in mortal danger. Any ethnicity/cultural background.
LEANNE (Female Presenting)
A little distant. A little random. Is possibly a genius or really, really stupid. But has a really strong heart. The Puffiest of the Puffs. Any ethnicity/cultural background.
SALLY PERKS (Female Presenting)
Nice. In year 3, goes through a bit of a growth spurt that attracts the other student’s attention, if you know what I mean. Any ethnicity/cultural background.
SUSIE BONES (Female Presenting)
Sad. Gloomy. Think Eeyore from “Winnie the Pooh.” Constantly in fear of her or her family dying. Any ethnicity/cultural background.
CEDRIC/MR VOLDY (Male Presenting)
An appealing comic actor to play the pivotal roles of Cedric in Act I and Mr. Voldy in Act II. Cedric: A champion. Athletic, winning, popular, and charming. Everyone’s favorite, but still loyal, patient, and kind. A leading example of a Puff. Mr. Voldy: Evil. Like, reeeaaally evil. Wants to rule the world in shadows and darkness and terror. (Or, ya know, just an amazing Ralph Fiennes impression.) Any ethnicity/cultural background.
OTHER CHARACTERS to be played by ALL
Harry, Hermeoone 1, 2, and 3, Clumsy Longbottom, Blondo Malfoy, Seamus, Goyle, Viktor, Colin, Frenchy, Zach Smith, Uncle Dave, Hagrid, A Certain Potions Teacher, 1st Headmaster, 2nd Headmaster, Professor Locky, Professor McG, Professor Turban, Professor Sproutty, Professor Lanny, Ghost History Teach, Runes Teach, Ms. Babble, Real Mr. Moody, Mr. Nick, A Fat Friar, Myrtle, Sorted Smart, Rita Scooter, Mr. Bagman, Death Buddies, Xavia Jones, Helga, Rowena, Ric Gryff, Sal, Bippy, Scorpy
Here are the monologues. You can read for one or more than one. We are looking for you to make choices and to show personality. The show is a comedy and requires creativity from its ensemble of actors. Break a leg – and thank you for auditioning!
Wayne Hopkins – Question. Hypothetical. What if I don’t have enough of a personality for the magic talking hat to sort me? Like . . . how much authority does this hat really have? Never mind. . . This place is crazy huh? I never thought I’d go to school in a castle. Pretty cool. I’ve never really liked school. People were mean. To me. I’m talking too much. You probably have all your own nervous thoughts going on . . . Can I tell you something? I think I might be . . . special? I watch a lot of movies and read lots of books, and it’s like a normal boy finds out he actually has amazing abilities and is swept away to a new, magical world? Does that sound familiar? Because that is now my ACTUAL life. And THAT kid, through some incredible circumstances always becomes like the most important person. Like in the whole world. A sort of . . . Chosen One. AHH! Magic is real, and this orphaned boy wizard is ready for seven years of amazing adventures!
Megan Jones – I never wanted to be a Puff. Every member of my family? Puffs. We’re like THE Puff family. But I’ve always known that I was different. There’s nothing even special about Puffs. Loyalty? Being really nice? A bunch of lame, awful failures doomed to be stupid walking personality-less nobodies that no one will ever care about ever? Ugh. My mom was a Puff. But she was different. She became something bigger. She made the name Jones finally mean something other than a bunch of . . . Puffs. I thought . . . I knew . . . I would be different too. But . . . after all my hard work to make myself not a Puff, what do you know? The hat puts me with the Puffs. I did everything. I mean, I even changed my accent just so I wouldn’t sound like my Puff family. (Beat) Sorry to bring the mood down. Sorry to make things so . . . Sirius. I feel the need to hug. Don’t tell anyone.
Oliver Rivers – Nope. I’m from Arkansas. My family just moved to England back in May, so they’d be closer to me when I started at the Mathematical Institute at Oxford this semester. Even though I’m only eleven, I’ve sort of been called a “math savant.” But that’s not important now. Now, I’m just a wizard . . . a beginner level wizard. You don’t think ending up here means we’re already bad at wizard-ing right? I’m not used to being bad at school.
Cedric – But, none of that matters. Because really, we’re a bunch of nice, fun, happy people. Also, badgers. Badgers are great! That being said, there’s something very important we need to discuss. What do you think the most important part of magic school is? No. Not learning magic. The House Cup. Here, you earn points for doing something right, and you lose them for doing something wrong. The Puffs have come in last place in the House Cup for . . . ever. But together we are going to change that. This year, we’re going to win. Or, we’re going to get second. OR, we’re going to get third. Third or nothing! Whoever wins the most points? They’d be a real hero.
Mr. Bagman – Ladies and gentlemen. Welcome to the 1994 THREE WIZARD TOURNAMENT! Now. Are. You. READY?! Then let’s hear it for your first champion . . . Weighing in at 12 ¼ inches, with the hair of a unicorn. Hailing from the quaint town of St. Catchpole. He’s a prefect in the streets. He’s a seeker in the sheets. Put your hands together for this sixth year . . . MR. DIGGORY! Cedric! You must obtain the golden egg on the field. But in order to do so, first: you’ll have to get past this highly dangerous DRAGON! It’s time to BEGIN! Oh, my! Would you look at that? Cedric has turned a rock into an adorable barking puppy to distract the dragon. Oh MY GOD, the dragon has ripped the head off the dog, and there is now a dead dog on the field. The dragon has turned on Cedric. Cedric is on fire! Do not be confused by the tone of my voice, he is literally on fire!
ANNNNNND! He got the egg! Need I remind everyone that there is still a dragon. Right there.
Narrator – Heroes. Made. Not born. Except, sometimes . . . they are born. On a gloomy night, in a far away, magical land called: England. Ah! A giant. Aw, a baby. His parents: dead. But he lives. He is the boy who lives. He has a scar. On his forehead. Shaped like . . . you know. You get it? You are familiar with this boy? Well. Forget about him. This story is not about him. (Beat) Ah! Another orphan. His parents: also dead. Killed in a freak chocolate frog accident. Please don’t ask. This boy is whisked away to live with his uncle I n the even more magical land of Cattlepoke Springs, New Mexico. Where . . . the boy grows up! And up until a few weeks ago, this now eleven-year-old boy had only the regular problems of a child in 1991.
Leanne – No! I don’t want to leave. Why is everyone so down on us? I won’t stand for it anymore! And I won’t sit for it either. And I also won’t stand on one leg because I can’t. Watch. Anyways. Look at your hand! You have a wand! (Everyone looks at the hand that in fact does not have a wand in it.) Unless you looked at your other hand. Look at yourselves! Hannah. You used to be so awkward. And you still are, but we don’t mind anymore! Who’s that? It’s Ernie Mac. And he is basically the best. And Sally. Remember that time you did that thing? It was amazing! Susie! We all thought you’d be dead by now. But look at you, standing there, alive. Wayne. You give the best hugs. Megan! You give better hugs than you think you do. And J. Finch. He’s
imaginary, AND HE CAN DO MAGIC! We all can. We’re wizards! So, sure. It would be easy to leave. But wouldn’t it be wrong? We should do what’s right. Like Cedric. I’m a Puff, and I’m staying, because if we don’t fight now, we may never find out how that hat talks.
Mister Voldy: (Speaking into a megaphone) Is this thing on? Your efforts are futile. I do not want to kill you. Give me Potter. And you shall be rewarded. You have until Midnight . . . night . . . night . . .night. (Mister Voldy turns to the audience, continuing to talk into the megaphone.) That went well, I think. Hmm. So, we’ve got until midnight. Anyone bring any board games? Or snacks. What do you mean I’m still talking into the megaphone? What? Oh! Bring me Harry . . . Harry. Harry . . .Okay. The megaphone is definitely off. Okay, just a gentle reminder that if I appear to pass out. Don’t touch me. Just leave me. I’m fine. Nothing is wrong . . . I’m just taking a nap. I suddenly got tired and took a nap, right there. I’m not dying – nor is my inability to die at risk – in fact, forget I mentioned this. I want everyone to forget this. What? The megaphone is still on? Really?
Oh, my. I am just having a day, aren’t I? YAH! Harry!
Myrtle (a young ghost girl) – Waaaaah! Waaaaaah! Stop that dreadful . . .oh. hello. Helllooo! I’m Myrtle. Wayne told you a bath would help? Ohhhh! Well, enough about him. Let’s just talk about us. Here. Alone. Myrtle and Cedric. Cedric and Myrtle. Myrtle and Ceeeedric. Ceeeeeedric and Myrtle. I think that you’re so cool, Cedric. Goodbye, Cedric. Think of me every time you see a toilet. Waaaaaaaaahhhhhhhh!
Narrator – Heroes. Made. Not born. Except, sometimes...they are born. He is the boy who lives. He has a scar. On his forehead. Shaped like...you know. You get it? You are familiar with this boy? Well. Forget about him. This story is not about him. Ah! Another orphan. His parents: also dead. This boy is whisked away to live with his uncle in the even more magical land of Cattlepoke Springs, New Mexico. Where...the boy grows up! And before he knew it, after a confusing train station experience... Wayne found himself at the gates of a certain school of female magic and male magic. Where he would spend
the next seven years. Tonight! We will be taking an incredibly in-depth look at those seven years. Over the next five hours split into two parts— What?! 110-ish minutes?! Oh. Tonight! We will take...a look at those seven years. Seven years that were, in one word, eventful. It begins as these stories tend to begin...WITH A SORTING
OTHER NOTES:
Please Note: Physical copies of the Audition monologues will be provided. Performers MUST be available for all technical rehearsals, dress rehearsals, and performances. NO exceptions.
Costume/Make-up Policy- actors provide shoes, undergarments, and standard make-up (base, eyeliner, blush, powder, lipstick, etc.).
Questions: Rachel Glander (860).605.0150
Dylan Ryan (860).707.3147
Lori Holm (860).302.6262
