04/30/2026
As per usual the important part first in case you don’t want to read my annual long winded birthday post, it’s time for my annual enrichment time in my enclosure! I’ll be unavailable from May 1st-6th so any messages will be replied to May 7th!
Hey I’m fu***ng THIRTY. Let that sink in. I would like to first and foremost thank my Botox lady, antidepressants and therapy. (Pause for applause and laughter)
As someone who has learned almost every lesson the hard way, I’ll give you a short list of some of the lessons I feel are most important to me now at 30.
-If you need to scream or beg to be heard, it’s not worth your time.
-if you trust the universe, the universe will trust you.
-actually change your oil every 5,000 miles. Please. You will seize your engine.
-Standing up for yourself is scary but gets easier every time you do it, don’t be a doormat. Forge that steel spine.
-be authentic even if it feels cringey, 1-800- pound sand to those who make fun of you.
-If it no longer brings you joy or serves a purpose for you, get rid of it (and I’m not just talking about inanimate junk).
-never stop learning and expanding yourself.
-support people, it’s free and one of the greatest things you can do.
-get the damn dog in your 20s when it feels like a horrible idea, trust me, it isn’t 🥹💛
So hey, in honor of me, I implore you to smack a v**e, crack a joke, raise hell, grab some McDonald’s, slug a redbull, listen to some s**tty pop punk, burrow in your couch like a tick, accidentally swear in front of the wrong crowd, whatever the heck reminds you of little ol me.
It’s the honor of a lifetime to make sure you all feel seen, safe, and heard. To decorate your bodies, to experience your lives. Thank you for allowing me to be a safe space and giving me one in return. I wouldn’t be the woman I am today without you. Thank you for subjecting yourselves to my chaos and choosing me. Here’s to 3 decades under the influence, see ya’ll on the other side 🔥♉️
LOVE YOU BYE 💛
A blurb about the video:
I used a line from Anthem Part II for my senior quote back in high school. “Young and hostile, but not stupid” (peep a PAHS yearbook circa 2014 to confirm but if you say s**t about my eyebrows I’ll throw up). So it only felt right to bring that song back for my 30th 🥹 if Facebook messed up the timing or quality go watch it on the TikTok 😂
