Razormaid Productions

10/26/2025

I’m back home from Berlin, living in Phoenix with Yale and our 13 cats!

10/26/2025

I haven’t signed into my account in quite a long time. I apologize!
After moving home from Berlin, I’m here in Phoenix living with Yale Patton.
I’m trying to restart Razormaid! with new remixes I’ve finished. I can be reached directly at 480-399-2559 cell or text message.

Joseph

02/08/2024

One of my favorite pictures of me and the kids watching TV and me hand feeding dinner to Jaylyn. Poor sissy, she fell asleep in ”uncle Joe’s”, lap while hand feeding her brother, Jamie.

02/08/2024

Multitasking

09/19/2023

My name is Tucker.

Although I’m one of 10 remaining cats in the Patton home, since I know secretly I am Yales’s favorite - I took Joseph phone so I could make this announcement.

Yes, I know if he could catch me “the tall one” would kill me, but dammit I had to suffer through my birthday recently wearing one of those stupid hats then have my picture taken… oh the humanity (or is it catamity?)

it’s high time I “return the joy” forced on to me each year, by wishing Dad (aka Yale) a birthday greeting ahead of his actual birthday which is tomorrow, Tuesday September 19th.

He’ll never suspect me, after all , I’m his favorite!

Technically, I, along with the other 9 cats being held prisoner in this house, forced that smaller person who feeds us and changes our litter (I think they refer to him as Joseph - who ever he is he’s plays the music to loud forcing us all the hide upstairs most of the time. Just for kicks sometimes after he falls asleep, one of us will p*e on him. It’s a cheap form of entertainment, but how else are we supposed to entertain ourselves?
Seriously!

After hours of looking we finally found his private account here in this Facebook thingy.

Although the chances of us all ganging up, taking a picture of him with the stupid birthday hat on him like he does on me, I’m doing the next best thing: Sending his Facebook account name to all of you to destroy his day by wishing him a Happy birthday (technically tomorrow).

Here’s his Facebook name:
[email protected]

Please destroy his day, the way he’s destroyed mine the past 10 years, by wishing him a happy Birthday!

Tucker

09/06/2023

**
JANUARY 13th,2020
Razormaid! opens their studio up to its members, by launching its “day to day” activities, using a new software, ZOOM

**
MARCH 15, 2020
On this day, America initiated its “mass lock down” forcing the entire nation into “lock down” to not go to work except essential services, for three weeks in an effort to stop the spread of the Wuhan virus.

Still doing our daily 14 hour a day “classes”, we start day 42 of continuous ZOOM remixing, live.

***

SEPTEMBER 13,2000
It’s now day 245 of our live ZOOM classes, with no days off. We halted work on the 3rd RED FLAG album, to begin work on a project for Robert in Texas. This project coincides with their 43 track release, to sell music to get money to save their club #’s from closing. All proceeds will go to the club to help keep the lights on - even though they’re closed due to the virus.

**
SEPTEMBER 25, 2020
With the 6 tracks from the “Houston” project now complete, work resumes on the three RED FLAG projects, including their version of “Blue Monday” and “Situations” which we’re planning as a double vinyl release - our first vinyl release since Art’s death… and we started back up work on the upcoming TOUR.

**
NOVEMBER 8th, 2020
During a live ZOOM class, I shut down ZOOM for the first time in 294 days. At 6pm, unable to move the entire right side of my body, I contact a friend to see if he can go get Yale. I have the truck, as I dropped Yale off at work that morning, he’s out in Anthem 45 minutes away. He gets off at 9pm. I then contact Jayne, a friend of mine and ask if she could take me to Mayo Emergency room, not telling her why. I had a very serious stroke that went from the the very top of my head, all the way down, under my chin. It was around 9” by 1/4” long. It was huge.

**
NOVEMBER 10, 2022
Only taking two days off for mayo to run tests, I resume my daily ZOOM “classes”. At the time I have not told anyone about why I was gone 2 days, nor anything about my massive “entire right side of my body” stroke, because other than the extreme buzzing in my right hand, it appears I returned to normal.

**
NOVEMBER 17, 2020
After 7 continuous straight days of 12 hour days remixing on ZOOM, on day eight, before I start my ZOOM session, I deliver a message to all in attendance:

“While I’m working today, if any of you happen to see anything unusual - maybe me pausing too long or one side on my body stopping or while I’m talking I lose my train of thought… anything out of the ordinary… would you mind stopping me and alerting me? Nine days ago I had a stroke the length of my entire head. I didn’t want to alert anyone, because I didn’t want to cause anyone to be concerned. I’ve been been working the past 7 days with all of you, every day, 12 - 14 hours a day, but I didn’t tell you on purpose. I apologize. However, now if you see something, would you alert me?”

(I guess you can imagine their stunned reactions.)

**
DECEMBER 18, 2020
Just two months later, I get a call from my best friend in Oklahoma. “What the f**k? Have you seen this on BandCamp? Emergency Hearts has posted all six of your extended Razormaid remixes from the “Houston” project, online and they’re selling them! What the hell is this? These are your final extended remixes you did online back in September, live for two weeks on ZOOM! Did someone record ZOOM and paste these??”

Turns out, No.
it was much more nefarious than that.

I contact the only person I sent these too, Robert who produced and organized the “Houston” project, himself.

After confronting him about this for two straight hours of denial, he finally said, “Look, I got tired of waiting for you to release these on Razormaid, so we (with Emergency Hearts assistance) uploaded them (to sell them).”

I only get this confession after two straight hours of screaming at him - trying to get him to tell the truth, which he finally did.

After pleading for weeks to have them taken down, I just gave up. No one’s budging. It was the ultimate “F**K YOU!”

**
AUGUST 24,2023
It’s two years later. It’s now Razormaid! 39th Anniversary. I completely forgot until people started posting, “Happy Anniversary!”

I still don’t have “a27” officially done, so we decided to put together a release of 14 “previously unreleased remixes”, starting with the “Houston” six and adding seven others that no one knows we did in our post.

What a cool idea.

It’s going to take some work. Even though the remixes are done (except for the Purple Disco Machine track), we need artwork, the website page, audio samples, etc. there’s still some work needed.

**
SEPTEMBER 4,2033
After a three year wait, one stroke and one triple bypass surgery, while finishing the last remix… I get a text from a friend,

“What. Is. This?”

It was the link to the NEW Emergency Hearts post on BandCamp. It is not only the original 6 unauthorized Razormaid! remixes from the “Houston” project two years earlier, but this group lifted 10 other tracks from Razormaid!’s past. And it didn’t stop there!

They created artwork that states, “Razormaid Remixes” making it look like it’s coming from us. Even the CD artwork only says at name!

Never in the history on Razormaid have I seen such a blatant attempt to mislead the public.

Razormaid is not for sale commercially and cannot be legally. So my first reaction is to contact the three big record labels we work with to alert them (Warner Bros, EMI and’s CBS (London). “This is NOT us. Do not come after us!! We have not released our product commercially.”

I then contacted Robert, who originally gave these tracks to these people two years ago, to have him shut this down, before WE get sued by the labels.

**
You guys all know the rest of this story, via my previous Facebook post.

This company refused to remove our product so we were forced to enact the DMCA to get the companies housing these, to remove them, or we will add them to any future lawsuit, resulting from this.

After my post, I then find out from all of you, these guys have posted these all over the internet in sites I’ve never even heard of.

What a cluster f**k!

PLEASE don’t buy these from Emergency Hearts and if possible, in the “review” or comments section, alert others that this or other Razormaid! tracks are not authorized. They can’t be. We’re not allowed to, legally.

Our release will be out in a few days, along with 7 bonus tracks, as soon as we finish its construction and get them online.

09/04/2023

TO EMERGENCY HEARTS:
We need you to remove the following immediately:

https://emergencyhearts.bandcamp.com/album/emergency-hearts-razormaid-remixes-collection (https://emergencyhearts.bandcamp.com/album/emergency-hearts-razormaid-remixes-collection)

***
We don’t know how you got these tracks, but we’ve already contacted Robert to let him know, should we be forced to take action.

He was the only one I sent these exclusive Razormaid! extended remixes to, against my better judgment. My own team advised me not to let him or anyone else hear or have access to them, ahead of the actual release, but as producer of the original “HOUSTON” project, I wanted him to know how they turned out.

That was our first mistake and because of that… now we’re here dealing with this because he provided our exclusive versions to you.

Flat out, our name and our product can NOT be made available commercially, period, end of story.
This is not negotiable!

We have legal and binding contracts with 142 record labels, world wide, dating back to 1984 and all are still in effect.

These particular tracks were given to me to remix and release exclusively, in lieu of payment for our work on the original HOUSTON project for Robert.

Because of that, these are exclusively ours. Not even Robert himself can legally release these or anything related to our company, because we ourselves are not allowed to sell commercially.

Our contracts are very straight forward and iron clad.
It’s called:
USE IT or LOSE IT

After we complete a remix, we FedEx a copy of our remix to the record label. They have 72 hours to decide whether they themselves would like to release it (USE IT), or have us release it exclusively (LOSE IT).

There’s advantages both ways.

OPTION 1: USE IT
If they choose USE IT, they cut us a check for $25,000. We then waive our rights to any additional money and supply them with our 12”remix, 7” radio mix, an instrumental, a dub and TV backing track versions. The multitrack is then returned as well.

OPTION 2: LOSE IT
We hold all rights to our remix, but we are then also responsible for all bills that incurred. This includes the $5000 studio bill for remixing, paying for artwork design to be created and then manufactured, EQ and mastering, manufacturing for the compact or vinyl, additional production fees and shipping. In exchange, the label waive all rights to the version we create.

***
Your company does not qualify for either of these options, because you neither own the tracks or the remixes. These are property solely of Razormaid Productions.

We’ve gone ahead and contacted the lawyers we’ve worked with at Warner Bros, EMI and CBS asking for them to assist us, should we need to take this to court. We need this “iron clad” so we don’t want to do this ourselves. We’ve explained the circumstances and they have agreed to work with us in stopping this and pursuing any damages owed to us, by using our name illegally.

You guys may not think this is anything, “oh it’s just one release…”, but the second we turn a “blind eye“ to this, we open the flood gates for any individual or company to just start releasing our product.
“…They won’t do anything. That other company did and the didn’t get sued..”
… now we have hundreds of lawsuits, not just yours .

We couldn’t have even made a deal with you to share proceeds, even if we wanted to. Razormaid can NOT be available commercially, end of story!

If we don’t take action against people doing this, the labels can actually sue us for “breach of contract” by not protecting the product, allowing it to come out commercially.

Please remove this and our name RAZORMAID from your site, immediately. That includes ALL Razormaid including ST CHÉ … which I now see you’ve added to your site.

Jesus Christ!

Please don’t force us to be the bad guys here.
We did nothing.

You guys just took our name, our exclusive “members only” mixes which we haven’t even released yet and gave us the middle finger.

Not cool.

Joseph Watt
Razormaid Productions

16 track album

08/24/2023

Ok, You guys beat me to it…
Yes today’s the 39th anniversary of Razormaid!
We officially launched August 24, 1984, with:
Chapter ONE: “Basic Editing”

I was getting around to posting today’s momentous occasion, but there was a lot going on this morning.


Our goal is still to release Razormaid! Die-Cut Series “a-27”, on August 27th, for $27, but with a few tracks left… it’s gonna be tight. (I’ve been dealing with a few annoying medical issues, but I’m burning the midnight oil, fast as a can.)

We’re almost ready to reopen and get back to work. I literally have tons of new multitrack songs just sitting here in front of me, ready to go, but I promised myself (and Yale) I wouldn’t start anything new, until I finally finished this release.

That said, Hope you guys are having a GREAT day.

Joseph

07/25/2023

FINALLY!
SENT

After serval days of delays, I am pleased to announce that the FREE ON FRIDAYS offerings has at long last begun.

If you check your email, you will find the links to download them.

Each "release" is sent in dual format:
320kbps known as "Mobile Device Ready," which allows you to upload to your device without doing anything to them...
as well as the "LOSSLESS" versions of the same titles, for those wanting the actual 32Bit versions, for the best quality possible.


***
Rather than give a lengthy 7 page account of why this got delayed, in a very "unRazormaid" like response, it's done and sent. There. That's the explanation in one sentence.

Better buy a lottery ticket, as that is my shortest response to a problem ever, but just like the odds of you winning the lottery, me giving a one sentence response may never happen again!


***
I will say, since our last post turned out "black text of a black background" (not my doing - thanks Facebook)... I did want to reiterate one thing, that obviously no one got to read:

Those of you signed up for this weekly event, I promised each of you will NOT be placed on our mailing list, or anyone else's mailing list either. We have not registered you with Razormaid Productions.

In fact, each of you are stored on a computer never connected to the internet, so as I stated before (in black print).. your information (name and email) is 100% private and will stay that way.

If you decide to start purchasing our product, know that the only thing NOT listed on our web site available to purchase is the Razormaid! Library. We do this so legally we're not forced to sell it to "just anyone".

Since the Razormaid! Library includes every song (5,769 total) Razormaid has ever released, starting August 1984 through to the present, we want to control WHO buys it. Not listing it on the web site ensures it stays "invitation only".


***
Each Friday were our choosing one of past releases and sharing it FREE ON FRIDAY, to let those of you who have never purchased us, or maybe didn't even know who we were, let you hear parts of our nearly 40 year history.

Although we are terribly late, we do still plan on doing our Razormaid TOUR. The 800+ songs chosen for the TOUR are part of our new 32Bit Razormaid! Library, which we have been steadily working on for the past 2 years now. The first "group" of titles from the 32Bit library, will be the tracks used on the TOUR itself.

These FREE ON FRIDAY releases are in fact the new 32Bit tracks scheduled for the TOUR (as well as for the 32BIt library) so it seemed like an interesting way to introduce us to a completely new generation of people, who weren't even born we we worked on these, in hopes of attracting them to (and when) we TOUR their town.


Till then.. please enjoy these snippets from our past, now in glorious 32Bit quality, for the first time ever.

Thanks guys, sorry for the looooong delay.
Joseph

______
WARNING:
Those of you receiving these 32BIt restored versions of our past remixes each week, PLEASE turn off your EQ! Seriously! Besides these now being full spectrum audiophile quality masters, these were re-encoded with the 2500kbps 32Bit rate, for the highest quality when playing back.

.. one more thing:
These were mastered specifically for the Powerbeats Pro and the Yamaha HS8 sound system - utilizing their custom subwoofer. If you play them back on either of those, you will hear EXACTLY what we intended you to hear.

As a last minute addition, we also added the new transparent Beats Studio Buds+ (not the regular ones, the new “+”). With those you'll hear 98% of what we intended in the subwoofer range... close enough. But if nothing else, PLEASE turn off your EQ - especially to your subwoofer. I'm not buying you guys replacements. You’ve been forewarned.