10/05/2023
Back in 2011, I knew some guys who would talk about this friend at their school who they referred to simply as the “BNL”— the “brave and noble leader.” Who was this mysterious man who had earned such a nickname, I wondered?
As fate would have it, I met him by chance in a breakroom at the college offices, where he came in (as he often did in those days) to make a PBJ sandwich. He was an avid storyteller, and something of a renaissance man, with an infectious enthusiasm for a whole range of things— from Facebook debates to ci**rs and tango dancing.
Our first date was at the Met. He showed me his favorites— the John Singer-Sargeants and Rembrandts! We spent 5 hours walking through Central Park talking about every possible subject.
I got really sick 6 months into dating. We didn’t know it then, but it would be years of uncertainty and suffering before things got better, with countless hospital visits and and many, many surgeries. Matthias was with me the whole time. I didn’t think much of it until a couple years into my diagnosis, I was in my surgeon’s office. She looked at me dead in the eye and said pointedly, “You know, you’re lucky to have Matthias. I’ve seen a lot of people go through what you’re going through, and to be honest, most people leave. Fiancées, spouses, doesn’t matter…they can’t handle it.” I never forgot that, because I knew I had indeed met a man who would face any hardship with me.
Over a decade after that first date, 6 years of marriage, a house, and two kids later, the “PBJ guy” is now “husband,” and “dada.” He brings spontaneity, laughter, and possibility to our home. He has that same drive for ideas, and is always working on something new. He teaches me to take risks, to lighten up, and be open to doing things differently.
I am so grateful for the life we have together today, and believe that the best is yet to come.
Happy 35th Birthday, from your wife and kids. We love you! ❤️
