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Red Dirt 'n Grace, Richardson, TX (2026)

09/02/2024

September 1st is National Forgiveness Day!
I'm working on it......😉

“The Lord will fight for you; you need only to be still” (Exodus 14:14).
The above scripture is hanging in my car as a reminder that the God of the universe is always moving in the background (or parting the sea) in ways I may never know...and I need to be okay with that. But, sometimes I forget God's words, which allows bitterness from the past to rise to the surface. Even the best people can fail us when their power is wielded in unhealthy ways. Making it all the more difficult to forgive and find resolution is when silence follows.
*Poetry is very much a bearing of the soul...Although no one can heal for me, the poem below 'drains' some of the power and influence yesterdays cold messages sent me.

WILL I HEAR "I'M SORRY"?
by Anita

Why won't you say I'm sorry
I haven't lost hope yet
My heart just needs to hear
A true sign of regret

Two words to make a difference
There's power in the tongue
When admissions of sincerity
Confess you were wrong

The Saints are your people
Once that included me
Much more than just a brand
Or the company that you keep

You looked to be a haven
So I left my heart unguarded
Now I search for honest answers
Of why I was discarded

Why pleas went unanswered
Adding worries to my lot
I was the one betrayed
Or maybe you forgot

Still this soul was cast aside
Abandoned by the flock
The enemy celebrated
Then told me it's my fault

But as only God can do
The facts came out in time
So, will you ask forgiveness
As the load was never mine

My heart hopes to forgive
But how do I let go?
When a Matthew 18 letter
Is all you have to show?

It was you who turned your back
Yet, it's my burden to decide
Though judge and jury I am not
I'll speak what you denied

In a fight to guard your image
You didn't fight for me
A shame you can't erase
With secrets that you keep

You could have made this better
Your sheep were my people
But the silence was so loud
From your house with the steeple

My heart still holds a promise
If what they say is true
That God can make a way
When pride is stopping you

May work behind the scenes
That I might never see
Open doors to repentance
If God can split the sea

Godly sorrow would bring honor
And redeem you in His eyes
But if they're words I never hear
I won't be surprised

The Lord will fight for me
To love and turn the page
I need only to be still
And maybe a little brave

06/19/2024

In 1976, the band Wings released the song, Silly Love Songs. I agree with Paul McCartney...."Some people want to fill the world with silly love songs, and what's wrong with that?" Soooo, just when you think you've worn your heart on your sleeve all you can, the month of June comes along and you start writing silly love poems.
*I have female friends that say, "never again!!!". I get it - I don't want to repeat the past either, but IF I'm a changed person and God sees fit to bring 'love' into my life, hopefully I will be "wise as a serpent and innocent as a dove".
So, indulge me if you will......

THE ONE
by Anita

It's a long time coming
When you're waiting for the one;
The one who makes you realize,
You've never known real love.

I've been swept away by charm
And promises not kept
By souls who wanted love
Yet their giving was inept.

Like an age old injury
I still feel the ache and pain
But I also smile and ponder
What can follow suffering.

It's down the road before me
With no promise carved in stone
Nevertheless a highway
To a blessing of my own.

Where God may grant me wings
In the time I wait on Him
To dream the possibility
Of a true love with no end.

Will we meet with a smile
Or a shy passing glance
Then a friendly comment here
That starts a tender dance.

Steps that gently fade into
A dream that could come true
As the sigh upon your lips
Whispers I'm for you.

Rather than a glare of judgement
There's sparkle in those eyes
Which lights in me the notion
That for you I am the prize.

We'll talk about our dreams
Til wee hours of the night
You'll tell me all your stories
And then I'll tell you mine.

Maybe you'll be stubborn
Cause I'm determined too
Yet no soul will ease my heart
With assurance like you do.

We'll calm each others fears
Souls and fingers will entwine
Then drying faithful tears
Two hearts will beat in time.

More special are the moments
When our words are few.
Love is more than spoken
As silence fills the room.

We have no way of knowing
How long this time will last
But we have the here and now
Let's make the moments last.

Loving is a choice
It gives when all seems lost.
It loves when loving's hard,
Forever's worth the cost.

Promises are for keeping
Devotion has no end
Loyalty won't let go
From a one woman man.

05/14/2024

Ruin and restoration come in many forms.
"God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance". Much like grace, kindness can be taken for granted or it can soften the hardest heart and lead to true transformation, but what happens when shame believes grace is not enough to right the wrongs or heal the brokenness? I long to believe that whether on earth or in heaven, by His stripes there is healing.
*Probably the most sobering poem I have written.....

SHAME AND SIMPLE TRUTHS
by Anita
photo cred: Anita

Resting on the front yard swing
Watching clouds go by,
Thinking of the day you left
And why you said good-bye.

Inside your heart was troubled,
You were hesitant to go,
But deception reaps a high price
When that's the seed you sow.

I thought that I could save you
And remind you of God's will.
Things happen for a reason
If we listen and be still.

Yet, trapped in hidden secrets,
Veiled by the wounds within;
You didn’t trust God or me
That a new life could begin.

Our God gives second chances
To not repeat the same,
But you were blind to see it,
Imprisoned by your shame.

Tears lingered in your eyes
As torment filled your face.
You believed the time passed
To encounter amazing grace.

My heart broke more for you
Than it ever did for me;
I believed God had a plan
You weren't prepared to see.

Perhaps my prayers were wasted
Or will there come a day
The Lord redeems your troubled heart
And by His stripes you're saved.

05/02/2024

I once 'lost' what I deemed a great battle. I believed it was all up to me and what I did or didn't do to achieve the result I was sure both God and I wanted. But I soon discovered the Lord's 'winning' can often mean liberation, not restoration.
*I will never regret that I showed love when loving was hard, so this is my outlook on standing for a spouse and marriage while also learning what transformation and surrender look like......

BEAUTIFUL HARD WORK
by Anita
Photo cred: Codi

They slept as the lion prowled through the front door.
Like a thief who breaks in to steal, kill and destroy.

With a roar, the peace vanished out of thin air,
Neath the wake of its echo boiled anger and despair.

What used to make sense, now turned to shame.
What charaded as true, now merely a game.

So easily replaced, with no understanding,
To give love and be thanked by being abandoned.

But a picture speaks volumes that can't be denied.
Was this the first step to a certain goodbye?

Her heart grows dark as it pounds in her chest,
As the allure of revenge was put to the test.

But the urge lost power as hope was unlocked,
By the key God unveiled to a refining hard walk.

Oh, the letters composed to make sense of it all.
And the hours of despondency facing the wall.

Would her heart beat again or her spirit find rest,
What will God do with this beautiful mess?

Should she fight for the one who cast aside saving,
Or deliver truth in the face of lies he's believing?

Could she count on a miracle or a work in his heart,
So the enemy could no longer keep them apart?

But deliverance was found as God refined wrongs.
Where she appeared weak, He made her strong.

Her spirit transformed in ways beyond reason,
Could this be the gift coming out of this season?

Her dignity restored through the gift of new life
She had a steadfast desire to stay in the fight.

Resolving to love though loving was hard;
The decision was made to risk her sure heart.

Favor was sought while lifting her pleas.
For her stand would be strongest down on her knees.

In stillness she prayed with no hesitation;
Patient to witness an act of redemption.

Love filled every thought and every word spoken,
To provide a safe place for the fearful and broken.

With sincerity of heart and hope in her voice,
Perhaps grace would smooth edges inspiring a choice.

But a seed won't grow until it dies in the dirt;
And a heart won't flourish 'til it heals from its hurt.

The mind of the prisoner, enchained by his feelings,
Evades the sweet pain that promises healing.

The reality is, wholeness means change,
So some will shun grace to stay in their chains.

Though she dares to dream he'll one day find home,
Perhaps the best way to love is to finally let go.

Surrendering her plan to the One who would know,
She dropped her sword and said, “let it be so”.

The Shepherd has a way with scared sheep who stray;
May the one in ninety-nine find redemption one day.

Godly sorrow in the flesh may never take place,
But she found her peace knowing she had shown Grace.

05/02/2024

Dear Friends,
I once created a FB page called Red Dirt 'n Grace to begin introducing my poetry. The name reflects my love for Oklahoma, and Grace is, well...'grace' and also Hebrew for Anita.
Most poetry is written from the heart and from experience, so my hope is to reveal in somewhat chronological order the more human parts of my story. Thoughts that might be a little more raw and a little more honest with occasional humor and satire (polite word for sarcasm) added in. Also 'Friends' would have a choice whether or not to go view it.
In posting every couple of weeks, I'll attempt a balance of privacy and secrecy.... tempering what is too private to expose, yet not hiding truth for the sake of 'winking at sin'. Uncertain how unvarnished honesty might be received, I hesitated to promote it; however, last Mother's Day, my daughter did a thing. My creative child took my Cricut and created a logo for me. So...ready or not, a few weeks before this Mother's Day is a good a day as any to 'launch' my poetry driven FB page....Red Dirt 'n Grace.

04/23/2024

The beginning of the year, or anytime is a good time to declutter....life. 😉

DECLUTTER
by Anita

Your closet is so messy
You know it could be clean
But restoring back to order
Creates anxiety.

What do you need to keep
What should you throw away
Will it make a difference
If you hold it one more day?

A menagerie of clutter
No haven to sort through
What captivates, now captures
What you ruled, now rules you.

Life is like that closet
When you try to close the door
Neath the clutter and the drama
Lost dreams are on the floor.

It's a time consuming task
To brave a messy place
Old rubbish to trip over
Until the trouble's faced.

Piece by piece you sort
Until you reach the bottom
But staring down each lie
Creates a newer problem.

Truth can be unyielding
Through the crucible to freedom
If ashes bind your heart and soul
The firepits where you leave 'em.

The illusion of grand love
Now buried in the flames
With sentimental notes and
Smiles in picture frames.

Yesterday's go up in smoke
Not a prisoner anymore
When you feel to heal the chaos
New dreams rise off the floor.

Red Dirt 'n Grace

09/02/2024

06/19/2024

05/14/2024

05/02/2024

05/02/2024

04/23/2024

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