08/13/2026
DEAR DJ FERN,
Our industry is built on relationships.
Relationships to people.
Relationships to energy.
Relationships music.
We walk into rooms filled with people who have different backgrounds, different ages, different cultures, different tastes and completely different relationships with music.
Our job is to somehow bring all of those people together meaningfully. The truth is at the end of the day, DJing isn’t really about music. It’s about people and empathy. And I think the best DJs have a tremendous amount of it.
Empathy is what allows you to read a room beyond simply asking, “Is the dance floor full?” Empathy is the ability to step outside of yourself and understand what someone else might be feeling, experiencing or needing in that moment.
It’s paying attention to people and caring about the experience they’re having. It means understanding why people are asking for things, why they respond to certain music and how they want to feel.
We pay attention. We listen. We observe. We adjust. We understand that our personal preferences aren’t more important than the collective experience happening in front of us. Empathy is being willing to put your ego aside.
And this extends far beyond music.
It’s how you communicate with a nervous couple.
It’s knowing when the microphone needs more energy and when you need to get out of the way.
It’s recognizing when a moment deserves attention and when your presence would actually distract from it.
It’s understanding that every person in that room is experiencing the same event differently.
Ultimately, reading a room is an exercise in empathy and is what separates good DJs from great ones.
A letter to myself!!
Sincerely
DJ Fern 🙏
