07/21/2025
Suffering is addictive. They say there's always a hidden benefit in everything we do, feel. Now, I do believe there's a hidden benefit in suffering too.
The need to slow down, the need for care, compassion, the need for an excuse.
It takes a lot of energy to find out what that true benefit really is and how you can get it in a different way.
It took me a long time to become honest with myself. To say okay, that's enough. And even when things are looking up, deep down you miss that feeling when you're glued to the couch because that's all you were capable of at that moment.
The point is that, we choose the direction. We choose what's next. We decide if we're gonna get the help or keep suffering because, oh, well, this is the only way. But is it really? Or maybe you're just enjoying it?
P.S. Here's my first self portrait in... Two years?? That's just so crazy. As I'm slowly getting better I'm honestly in shock realizing how bad things were and how I have been pretending that it's ok.
