Edith's Musings

08/01/2024

How Do I Live Thee?

How do I live thee?
Thorns abound and weeds suffocate
Friendship scatters
Laughters echoing farther and memories dulled by time

How do I live thee?
Dreams dissipate
Lovers form walls
Distance erodes hope
Yearnings turn into disappointments

How do I live thee?
When waiting is the enemy
Patience abandons the heart
Despair rears its ugly head and consumes the soul

07/30/2024

“I shall make my own rules”, i told you… you snickered and laughed
But do you even know why i said that?
Then try to understand who i was, who i am and who i will be…

You judged and condemned without having all the facts
Is it even worth explaining why the end is not what everyone wants and decide what it should be

My world is spinning but no one can visualize it
What happens to my world then if no one can feel it
What defines my world and your world?
What is the difference and who is the judge
Should we not just all dance to the music that we will never have!!!

07/29/2024

Will you give me courage when i unabashedly beg?
Or just push me aside like some forgotten slave

Will you lift me up when i feel so down?
Or just join the crowd to make a mockery of who i am

Will you speak up for me when i’m tongue-tied with fear
Of judgements and recriminations that i couldnt bear

Will you wipe away my tears when everything is lost?
Or will you just leave me behind abandoned in my own grief

I will never smile now…
You never showed me how!

06/19/2022

the unchained soul…
(a metaphorical poem of survival)

there once was a timid soul
fearful of defeat
yet at night in darkness
she unabashedly dreams of hauling herself out
from the cavernous walls of despair

she forbearingly fashioned her own wings
borne out of suffering and incessant struggles

-for she imagined she can fly-

then she rose up from the grovel
in shining splendor
scrubbing all the mud clinging on her skin
stomping vigorously on all the trash heaped upon her

-now she can truly fly-

06/15/2022

my musings for today...
today, echoes of happiness drifted over my horizon mocking me...
scintillating yet elusive
in the ruffling wind i hear a murmur of discontent playing havoc in my soul
i wondered where all the good days went and are they coming back?
i trembled at the power of anonymity that can swallow me in an instant
what armaments do i possess to crawl up for more air?
you, who lurk in the darkness smiling at my impotence
your turn may come and you will know it then
to submerge and drown and crawl up again!!!

06/14/2022

SHE’S AT A PLACE NOW…
(this poem is for you after you burrow yourself in the darkest pit of despair and comes out triumphant and invincible!!!)
She is at a place now where no one can reach!
Blood-drenched, full of self-loathing, bathed with regrets.
Marred by incessant failures, drowned by blames and what should have been…
She has wound her self to oblivion!
She is at a place now
where no one can touch!
Product of insecurities surrounded by lies
Haunted by her own mistakes pierced by arrows of her own weaknesses…
She has wound herself to oblivion!
Where is she now they dared to ask?
She is in the wind that swayed the leaves and branches to touch their faces and uprooted the trees…
She is in the water joining the seas forming the turbulence that washed the ships that sailed through its depths…
She is in the lava spouting from the volcanoes covering the lands with fire and devastation a kin to her warring emotions!
Forever…
you will feel her everywhere
But now you can never touch her!

06/14/2022

I wrote this poem for you!
when your heart run this gamut of emotions, know you are not alone…
YOUR SENTIMENTS EXACTLY
Like a trusting child, you bared your soul out to her
Then she boldly squandered it.
Like those mindless gamblers in a Las Vegas casino
You trusted her with your secrets
Whispered to her in your dreams
Shared with her your inner most insecurities
And what did she do?
She trampled on your raw emotions
She toyed with your weaknesses
Overwhelmed you with shame.
Confused by her betrayal
She made you vulnerable
Open to scorn and unheard of embarrassments.
Who can you trust now?
When your heart is unerringly mutilated
How can you trust again?
When your soul aches beyond repair.
Should you bolt out, hide, and be afraid of your own shadow?
Lick your wounds in an aura of darkness
Or give yourself time to shore up your defenses.
You will not be bitter
She will not turn you into someone you hate.
You will not be resentful
You will not let her throw you into the devil’s lair!
In the end, you thank her for making you stronger.
Now you can weather the storms that come your way.
Who would have thought you will turn this around?
Not even her who left you behind!

04/17/2022