10/07/2026
Listen to my story, but don't stop at the struggle.
This week has been heavy.
October marks three years since I lost my mother at 56. I've been dealing with depression, car trouble, unexpected expenses, and the kind of mental weight that makes getting out of bed feel like the first workout of the day.
Last week I weighed 408 lbs. This week I saw 416.
I still showed up.
Because one thing this journey from nearly 700 pounds has taught me is this: You cannot let getting started become the place where you stay stuck.
People can sympathize with your struggle all day. But eventually, you need a doorway out.
For me, one of those doorways was water.
When moving my body on land was difficult, I got in the pool. Water fitness and aquatic training gave me an environment where I could move, work against resistance, build confidence, and begin rebuilding my physical capacity without trying to start where somebody else's body was already capable of starting.
I didn't need to begin by running. I needed to begin by moving. And over time, the water helped me build toward more.
Now physical therapy is another part of that progression. I'm working on mobility, strength, stability, and something that means more to me than looking good in a mirror: functional independence.
Getting myself down onto the floor and getting 400+ pounds back onto my feet is progress. Being able to move better is progress. Showing up when my mind tells me to stay home is progress.
That's what I want other big people to understand. You do not have to begin where everybody else begins. If land exercise is too difficult for your body right now, talk with your medical or fitness professional about whether aquatic exercise is appropriate for you.
Start where you can safely move.
Maybe your first victory is getting into the pool. Maybe it's walking for five minutes. Maybe it's going to physical therapy. Maybe it's simply putting your feet on the floor when depression is telling you to stay in bed.
The first goal isn't perfection. The first goal is movement.
When your mind becomes four walls, don't sit there trying to mentally solve the next five years of your life. Make the world smaller:
• Feet on the floor.
• Clothes on.
• Out the door.
• Get to the appointment.
• Get in the water.
• Do the first repetition.
Motivation comes and goes. A small action gives you something real to build from.
I'm not sharing my grief so anyone feels sorry for me. I'm honoring my mother by continuing to live. I'm not sharing 416 because I'm ashamed of it. I'm sharing it because eight pounds on a scale does not erase the hundreds of pounds I've already fought through or the abilities I've rebuilt.
The scale fluctuates. Emotions fluctuate. Life can hit hard. The mission continues.
I'm taking about a week away from posting to honor my mother, get centered, and lock back in.
If you're trapped at the starting line right now, remember: You don't have to conquer the mountain today. Find your doorway. Then start.
🌊 Dependable. Kinetic. True.
