08/09/2026
Gather 'round, congregation! The doors of the Lord’s House of Libations are officially open.
​Please take your seats at the bar. The choir (TouchTunes jukebox) is warming up, and the Altar of Top-Shelf Liquors is fully illuminated.
​Reminder on today’s liturgy:
​The Offering: It is written, "Bring ye all the tithes into the storehouse." Today, that means liquid tithes, tips in the jar, and non-negotiable offerings to your local humble priestesses of pours (Beba Cowart and Sara Rodriguez).
​Communion: Served continuously in 1.5 oz portions. Body of Christ? No, body of Bourbon. Wine to blood? We skip the middleman and go straight to tequila.
​Absolution: Confess your sins from Friday and Saturday night directly to the bartender. What is spoken on the barstool stays on the barstool. Your penance is three hail marys and a shot of Rumple.
​If you are currently nursing a righteous hangover, consider this your baptism of recovery. Come get blessed, drink of the holy water, and remember to tip your preacher before you stagger back out into the wilderness.
