03/29/2024
New painting, just finished. Fresh paint seems like a good time for a life update. I’ve been out of touch for awhile. For whatever reason, I feel compelled to share my life with my art. This painting was inspired by a little getaway my kids and I took last summer to Medicine Park and the Wichita Wildlife Refuge. It was the first trip I took my kids on completely alone, with no other adult. It was a short weekend getaway, but the time was precious. My sweet daughter was worried when I started a fire to roast hot dogs and marshmallows. That had never been a “mom job”. My kids and I have a saying “we do hard things because we’re strong like Papa”. That little weekend trip was empowering for all of us. We said goodbye to Papa, my dad, on Christmas Eve morning of 2022. He was our rock-steady support. He taught us to be strong, stubborn, and independent. Cancer sucks. It took my mom in 2010 after she fought it for several years. It attacked my dad with a vengeance and he was gone six months later. I’ve never seen a fight like he fought. People have said he’s the toughest man they’ve ever known. I have no doubt about that. Grief and I have been in a close relationship for most of my adult life. Sometimes we hold hands tenderly. Other times we try to choke each other out. Sometimes I get arrogant and feel like I’m an expert on grief, and then it so kindly knocks me back down to my knees. My life has taken so many unexpected twists and turns that it often seems like I claw myself out of the depths of the muddy, treacherous pit just in time to be slammed face first into another pit. I’m learning that single motherhood is kind of that way. When my dad died, I lost my support system. Single moms need support. The thing is I am strong, stubborn, and independent like my dad. Nothing- not one thing- that has tried to take me down has succeeded. That’s the legacy of my dad. He was a fighter. He was fiercely loyal and protective of the people he loved. I’m proud to call myself his daughter and to carry on his legacy. He didn’t live an easy life, and I haven’t lived an easy life. But, oh how we’ve experienced beauty in the chaos. I’m glad to be back.
