09/28/2025
DATING THE DEVIL’S ASSISTANT
Author: Ovie
Episode 1: "Wrong Number, Right Demon"
⚡️Episode 1: Wrong Number, Right Demon
“Omo, if I knew one text message would summon a demon into my life, I would’ve just gone to bed hungry like every other broke person.”
— Zuri Nwankwo
Zuri Nwankwo’s life wasn’t perfect—but at least it was boring.
Her small room in Yaba smelt like Indomie, sweat, and cheap perfume. The landlord had cut light again, mosquitoes were on strike from biting her because even her blood was broke, and to top it all off, she had just gotten ghosted by her third client this week.
Frustrated, she stared at her cracked Android phone and typed furiously.
“Hello sir, I’ve sent the file. Please confirm if you got it so I can complete the payment. My life depends on this 5K. Thanks.”
To: Mr. Felix (Copywriting Job)
Or so she thought.
The Lagos network had other plans.
The message went to a completely different number—a number that didn’t even look real:
+666-HELL-HELP
Two minutes later, her phone buzzed.
🔥 Message Received
“Your soul has been tagged. Do not move. Assistant Cain is on his way.”
Zuri blinked. “Assistant who? On his way to where?”
She laughed nervously. “Maybe it’s a prank app. I downloaded that new keyboard yesterday—maybe this is a virus?”
But then her lights flickered.
Then her fan spun backward.
Then her wall cracked slightly—just a tiny line—like the house had sighed in frustration.
And then…
He appeared.
Not walked in.
Appeared.
Like a teleportation glitch in a video game, a tall, fine man in a dark suit materialized in the middle of her room, brushing invisible dust off his jacket.
Zuri screamed.
Cain blinked. “Loud. Very loud. Are all humans this dramatic?”
She grabbed the nearest weapon—a slipper.
He tilted his head. “That’s not going to help. Unless you’re hiding holy water in that pink Adidas.”
Zuri backed up toward her door. “See ehn, I don’t know who sent you, but if you’re a thief, I don’t have anything. If it’s my village people, tell them to wait. I’m already suffering—”
Cain raised a hand. “Zuri Nwankwo. Age twenty-two. Student-slash-struggling-intern. Accidentally unlocked a demonic sequence with a typo in your code last night. You sent a message through a forbidden ancient gateway disguised as a network bug. You summoned me.”
Pause.
Zuri stared. “Oga… what in the name of Nollywood are you saying?”
Cain sighed. “You broke a supernatural barrier between realms. I’m Cain. Assistant to the Overlord of the Underworld. And now I have to babysit you before something eats your brain.”
⚠️ Pause for breath. And for Zuri’s brain to reset.
Zuri collapsed on her bed, rubbing her forehead. “This is a dream. A stress-induced hallucination. That’s what you are. Let me sleep small and restart the day.”
Cain checked his wrist—which had no watch, just a burning tattoo that glowed red. “You have about twelve hours before the first under-realm trackers find you. I suggest you get up, wear shoes, and say goodbye to this life.”
Zuri sat up. “Twelve what? Please explain what’s going on. Slowly. With jokes.”
Cain smiled. “Sure. You remember that app code you were practicing with? The one where you mixed English, Latin, and a bit of Yoruba by mistake?”
Zuri nodded.
“You unlocked a forgotten seal. One that binds your bloodline to an old demonic treaty. Congratulations. You’re now a security breach.”
Zuri blinked. “Me? Breach? I can’t even breach my own account when I forget the password.”
Cain moved closer, eyes glowing faintly red. “Listen. If we don’t leave now, some very ugly creatures will come after you. They won’t care how funny you are. Or how broke you are.”
Zuri squinted. “So you’re saying demons are after me... and you want me to follow you, a stranger in black suit with hellfire eyes and a sword-shaped shadow behind you?”
Cain smirked. “Yes.”
Zuri stood. “I knew I shouldn’t have skipped church last Sunday.”
🚖 30 Minutes Later — Inside a Keke Napep
Zuri sat awkwardly beside Cain in a Keke, trying to look normal.
The driver kept glancing at Cain in the mirror.
“You dey go party like this, oga?” the driver asked, eyeing his flaming eyes.
Cain replied in flawless Yoruba: “It’s a funeral. Might be hers.”
Zuri kicked him. “Please, reduce the demon vibes before this man throws us out.”
Cain laughed. “You summoned me. You deal with the drip.”
Zuri hissed. “If I survive this, I’m writing a memoir. ‘How I Accidentally Dated the Devil’s Assistant’.”
Cain chuckled. “Oh. We’re dating now?”
Zuri blinked. “God forbid.”
Cain’s smile widened. “That’s the second time you’ve said ‘God’ around me. He and I don’t really talk anymore.”
👀 Final Scene of Episode 1:
The sky darkens suddenly over Lagos.
A strange black mist slithers between danfo buses, unseen by humans. A whisper echoes in the air:
“The seal is broken. The girl must die. The Assistant will fall.”
Meanwhile, Zuri looks out the Keke, munching gala. “So... do demons eat food? Or are you like... vegan?”
Cain: “I eat souls, mostly. But I make exceptions for suya.”
Zuri: “Oh good. Then we’ll get along just fine.”
🔥 End of Episode 1.