05/11/2025
First Mother's Day without my mother.. Im letting myself feel all the feels and drench my cheeks in tears. I don't want to be hugged or asked if there is anything anyone can do. My tear stained face today is because of so many wonderful things and the sadness that there can't be more. I'm crying because we were too stubborn or frustrated too many times at things that never were worth losing the time we could of had together over. That I didn't make enough room or give her enough of my time later in this life. That I didn't know how far along or how sick her cancer was making her. That I was unaware of how alone she felt these past few years
I'm crying because I was worried she didn't hear enough that to me she is the most beautiful, strong, intelligent, and caring woman I know and I was honored and felt so lucky that she stuck with us and raised me. That I believe any of the good and selfless characteristics that you see in me came from her. Also anytime you see me shut it down and put people in their place also came from the ideals and confidence she cultivated.
Mom, In my eyes there is no one better than you.
Thank you for everything, all that you have done for me and Billy. Thank you for being so compassionate to those who needed help. Thank you for all that you are. Thank you for everything you wouldn't be. You struggled and sacrificed a lot as a single mother doing everything solo and so young. You wouldn't let anyone come into our lives that wouldn't respect you or wouldn't be good to us. I will never let your spirit leave me. You taught me how to be a woman I am proud to be and trust in my beliefs. No one can tell me I don't matter or that I am less than. Thank you for always loving me. I always have and always will love you.
