05/03/2026
https://www.facebook.com/share/p/17D5BWJ1he/?mibextid=wwXIfr
DJs who stand on top of booths during their sets may be suffering from severe attention deficit, with a heavy emphasis on the attention, experts have warned.
The condition, which affects thousands of DJs every summer, causes artists to become visibly distressed whenever the crowd spends more than six seconds dancing, talking to friends, or enjoying the music without staring directly at them.
“It begins with mild symptoms,” explained one psychologist. “Pointing at the crowd. Waving one arm. Taking the headphones off dramatically. But if left untreated, the DJ will eventually climb onto the booth and attempt to become the most important object in the room.”
Researchers say the condition is especially common in DJs who have mistaken playing other people’s records for being a frontman in Queen.
“One minute they’re mixing a track,” said one stage manager. “The next minute they’re standing on the mixer with both arms out like they’ve just personally defeated silence.”
Clubs have been advised to install lower ceilings, child locks, and small mirrors beside the decks so DJs can receive emergency attention without endangering the equipment.
Promoters are also being encouraged to provide regular reassurance throughout the set, including phrases such as “yes, you’re worth every penny,” “the crowd can’t stop staring,” and “no, don’t worry - nobody noticed.”
