06/08/2026
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AITA for telling my in laws they have to call before visiting?
Recently my wife (29F) and I (32M) bought a house. I told her family that they are welcome if they want to visit, they just have to ask first, and because we have a newborn baby, I also told them that for now we will be hosting only short visits from the baby's grandparents with no more than 3 people at the same time.
I've never been a social person; I've never visited anyone before asking or being invited, and nobody has ever visited me without asking first. Not even my parents. I thought that was a common rule of basic education, but who knows, that's why I'm asking if AITA.
As soon as the baby was born, they started coming without asking, staying from morning 'til evening and regularly making a mess in our kitchen. I told them that we don't need help (I work from home and my wife is on maternity leave), but they are welcome to visit.
On sunday my wife's parents, siblings and nieces showed up, we were asleep, and they called like 20 times, after that they started sending pics of our entrance saying they're outside. Finally they woke me up, I went out and told them we were asleep. They wanted to go in but I assume they saw my face at the time and just left.
Yesterday my wife was not at home, I was changing the baby's diaper and suddenly my father in law starts to video call me like crazy. I finished baby duties and called him back. He was angry af and yelled me why wouldn't I open the freaking door.
That was it, I waited until my wife came back and talked to her father and mother, I told them that they have to ask/call before coming. My wife's mom freaked out and told me that if she has to call, she'll never come back. My wife's dad was like "dude I called you like 5 times", so I told him what's the f__king purpose of calling if he does it when he's already outside. It's our home, our rules, our privacy.
So they got pretty mad, and that made my wife upset. She agrees with me, everyone has to call before visiting. We could be busy, or not at home, or not wanting to see anyone at the time, but her parents and siblings seemed so f__king casual about it that I'm starting to doubt if AITA and everyone can show up to everyone's place anytime.
