06/30/2020
I come to you today with some pride looks (happy last day of the month!!) and a very wordy apology. When I started posting makeup, my goal was to share one of my favorite hobbies on my own terms. It didn’t matter the timing of my post, whether or not I had acne that day, or which products I used to achieve the look. It was just so fun for me to have an outlet, and it did wonders for my mental health to have my own face and creative skills be the focus on my Instagram. Somewhere along the way, however, I got anxious about how other people post, how different my online behavior was. I saw things like “if you want to grow your page, you HAVE to do this,” or “to go viral do THIS now” and I’ll admit, I immediately prioritized those goals because someone else was telling me they were important. I saw how other white creators were posting and being featured on pages and I thought, “why not me?” even though that’s not a goal I’ve ever felt I needed to meet. I fell for the capitalism of Instagram makeup and bought products I thought I needed for “exposure.” I held other people’s opinions higher than my own since my content was for the viewer, not for me. Frankly, now I look around at my fellow white creators and I don’t want to emulate them at all. I feel really dumb for letting it get to that point, because social media is for expression and I shouldn’t feel pigeonholed. So, I’ll be posting a lot more Black creators on my story and doing a lot more Black mua-inspired looks. I think the algorithm is very unhelpful when trying to promote yourself and the “you” in question isn’t white or straight/exactly the capitalist visual standard. Because of that, I’m also just going to be purchasing makeup from only BIPOC and queer-owned businesses from now on. Also, I’m not going to be posting with a schedule and I’ll be posting less overall going forward. I know I have a lot of privilege and honestly I don’t need to be posting all the time, there are a lot of other artists who I could be promoting instead. I’m sorry that I let my page become something that didn’t feel like my own. I think I used to consider social media to be only frivolous...(continued in comments lmao) @ Rainbow Life Investments
