04/24/2026
And now for something more cheerful than a mother saying, "The eyes are too far apart leaving nothing at all.
Long ago I wrote a short piece about Smog the dog and Elly the elephant gazing a sugary donut between them. Logic becomes...?
SMOG THE DOG, WHILE IN THE HALL
SPIED A DONUT WITH CHOCOLATE AND ALL.
ELLY THE ELEPHANT SNIFFED IT TOO
WITH A TRUNK SO WIGGLY AND FLUFFY AND BLUE.
WITH CHOCOLATE ON TOP AND DOUGH BENEATH
ELLIE AND SMOG QUICKLY AGREED
THAT SOMETHING SO SWEET WAS MEANT TO EAT.
AND BOTH AGREED TO SHARE THE TREAT
THEN CAME THE PUZZLE
THEY DEEMED WAS A RIDDLE.
‘HOW DO WE SHARE THE HOLE IN THE MIDDLE?
‘OH FIDDLE,’ THEY SAID.
THEN THE DOG AND THE ELEPHANT,
SNIFFING AND SNUFFING,
PONDERED THE PROBLEM OF SHARING NOTHING.
“A HOLE IS A HOLE WHERE NOTHING IS THERE.”
SAID SMOG THE DOG, WITH A CONFIDENT AIR.
“HOW CAN WE SHARE
WHEN WE DON’T KNOW WHAT’S THERE?”
SAID ELLIE, WAVING HER TRUNK
AND WANTING TO BE FAIR.
“IT’S A HOLE,” SAID SMOG,”
WHO BEING A DOG,
SAID NOTHING MORE
AND QUIETLY WHOOFED
WHILE CROUCHED ON THE FLOOR.
.
“SO THERE!,” SAID ELLIE,
“SINCE NOTHING IS THERE
WE SHOULD SHARE.”
“HALF A HOLE EACH?” SAID FOG,
IN A QUESTIONING MANNER.
“THAT’S…ALMOST…LET ME SEE…..?
NOTHING DIVIDED IN HALF
BY HALF OF NOTHING
IS…? TWICE AS MUCH AS NOTHING.”
“TWICE AS MUCH OF NOTHING?” QUERIED ELLIE.
“THAT MEANS BY SHARING THE HOLE
WE GET TWICE AS MUCH
AS THE WHOLE OF THE HOLE.”
“PRECISELY!,” SAID SMOG THE DOG,
WAGGING HIS TAIL, FOUR FEET AWAY.
AND SO THE RIDDLE WAS SOLVED.
BY HALFING THE HOLE OF NOTHING AT ALL
THE WHOLE OF THE HOLE,
MATHEMATICALLY SPEAKING,
WAS TWICE AS MUCH AS NOTHING AT ALL,
SO, THE DOG AND THE ELEPHANT IN THE HALL,
WHILE QUIETLY SCOFFING THE DONUT AND ALL,
NEVER ONCE NOTICED THAT THE HOLE ONCE THERE
WAS DISAPPEARING INTO THE AIR.
