08/08/2025
IT’S TIME FOR AUDITIONS!
Lancaster Community Theater will be holding auditions for Neil Simon’s hilarious farcical comedy, Rumors! Directed by Dakota Vaassen.
Auditions are set for September 3rd & 4th from 6:30 to 8:00 pm on the third floor of Lancaster’s City Hall (206 S Madison St, Lancaster, WI 53813.)
Nothing is needed to prepare for auditioning as scenes from the script will be provided. Just bring your scheduling conflicts and your enthusiasm! For anyone interested in reading the script prior to auditions, they will be made available at Lancaster’s public library soon, and an email will be sent out as soon as they are.
Performances are set for the weekend of October 24, 25 @ 26. All actors must be made available all evenings the week going into the performances.
Synopsis of play: Chris and Ken Gorman arrive at a fancy dinner party for their friend, Charley Brock. They quickly discover that all is not well, and Charley has had an accident involving a shotgun and his earlobe. This could be damaging to Charley’s reputation, as he is deputy mayor of New York City. Chris and Ken, along with their elite group of friends, begin to arrive, and as they attempt to cover up the facts, hilarity ensues.
Characters: We will need 4 men and 4 women, with two smaller roles that can be either.
Chris Gorman (female, 30’s-40’s): Chris is Ken’s wife and a lawyer. While elegant and attractive, Chris is also a very nervous and neurotic individual who gets easily flustered. She recently quit smoking but quickly falls off the wagon and has a few too many vodka martinis which causes her to become drunker and drunker throughout the show. Chris does some physical comedy and will have to trip over a phone cord and fall on her face.
Ken Gorman (male, 30’s-40’s): Ken is Chris’ husband who quickly takes charge of the very dicey situation. He is Charley’s lawyer and friend. Ken is a pompous know-it-all who has a slight accident with a shotgun causing hearing impairment. Ken is the main driver of the show, and the actor cast must be able to handle fast paced comedy.
Claire Ganz (female, 30’s-40’s): Lenny’s wife and a smart-mouth gossip monger. She is very concerned with her appearances as well as everyone else's and seems to be amused by everything that is going on. She starts the play with a swollen lip from a car accident on the way to the party and has some difficulty speaking. Claire is a typical New York socialite who is sharp as a tack with a witty sense of humor.
Lenny Ganz (male, 30’s-40’s): Lenny is Claire’s husband and Charley’s accountant. He wrecked his brand new BMW in a car accident on the way to the party and his neck keeps locking up on him. Lenny is by far the most foulmouthed and sarcastic member of the cast. He is very intolerant of the gossipy lifestyle that he is often involved in which causes tension between him and Claire. Lenny has a bizarre three-page monologue at the end of the show where he is posing as “Charley” and tells his version of the night’s happenings. Lenny is also one of the main drivers of the comedy.
Ernie Cusack (male, 50’s-60’s): Ernie is Cookie’s husband and Charley’s psychiatrist. Although slightly eccentric, Ernie is smug and is a somewhat calming presence in the midst of all the confusion–although he does lose it a couple of times. He tries to be as helpful as possible by assisting Cookie prepare the meal for the evening and is mistaken for the butler at one point. Ernie smokes a pipe.
Cookie Cusack (female, 50’s-60’s): Ernie’s wife and the very flamboyant host of her own cooking show. Cookie is garish, a bit ditzy and has a dramatic personality. She has a bad back that regularly goes out with much screaming and gyration. A couple of times Cookie is actually forced to crawl on and off the stage due to her back ailments. The actress who plays this role must have great physical comedy skills.
Glenn Cooper (male, 40’s-50’s): Married to Cassie and the next candidate preparing to run for the New York State Senate. Glenn is arrogant and quite ambitious and handsome. The TV cameras love him and he is constantly worried about his polished image and how his involvement in the night’s crimes being committed all around him might impact his candidacy. Struggles with placating his wife, who is convinced he is having an affair (which he may or may not be having.)
Cassie Cooper (female, 30’s-40’s): Cassie is Glenn’s slightly younger, beautiful, jealous and totally nuts trophy wife. Cassie and Glenn hate each other, and she doesn’t want to be at the party. She is constantly fighting with Glenn, threatens divorce and obsesses over her husband’s relationships with other women. Cassie is a believer in the power of crystals and contestantly rubs her quartz crystal to calm herself down.
Officer Welch (either gender, 40’s-60’s): A no-nonsense veteran police officer who does not tolerate lying and sees through the facade that the others put up. Has a couple of smaller monologues and only appears near the end of the play.
Officer Pudney (either gender, 20’s-40’s): Officer Welch's partner. A rookie cop with a slightly goofy demeanor but tries to appear professional. Has minimal lines and only appears near the end of the play.
Hope to see you all there! I can't wait to get started on this project! Dakota V. [email protected]
