08/11/2026
🚨 BREAKING SPORTS NEWS 🚨
Legendary Camp Boggy Creek summer-camp basketball star Robert Smith—now known as Roberta Smith—has officially self-declared for the WNBA Draft.
The power forward’s brief two-year résumé includes two MVP awards, two Adults vs. Kids championships, and an undefeated record against players who needed parental permission to compete.
“I may be long in the tooth, have a torn bicep, and be fully recovered from triple-bypass surgery—but I still have some juice in the tank,” Smith said.
Known for setting mean picks, boxing out children, and protecting the paint like Dikembe Mutombo, Roberta issued a warning to the league:
“Whoever drives into my lane better know that lane leads to a dead end!”
Her message to WNBA teams?
“If you select the player formerly known as Robert, you better be ready to eat some W’s!”
🏀 Which team should draft Roberta?
SATIRE—this is not an official WNBA announcement.
