06/13/2026
I started dot painting several years ago. Over that time I’ve created a lot of pieces that have been near and dear to me.
I had an idea for this piece for the last year now, and I finally got around to putting it on canvas(es).
I’ve battled depression my entire life. During the best of times I’d call it melancholy. The worst of times I’ve been hospitalized for safety reasons. Most of the time it has been an overwhelming lack of interest in life.
I crashed out about four years ago and had to take extreme measures to pull me out of the depths. The depression was so bad I couldn’t get out of bed for more than an hour a day. There was no hope that my life would ever improve…
Several of you back then followed me and know about my journey with ketamine infusions. It saved my life. It was a tool that helped me get my life together. That along with the universe aligning the right people and major events helped me to get where I am today.
About a year ago, I was standing outside my shop down at the Port of Kalama. If you haven’t been there before, I highly recommend stopping by sometime. It is one of the most beautiful places on earth right along the Columbia River.
I had an overwhelming sense of peace and clarity I’ve never experienced before. The colors of nature were so vibrant, like I was actually able to really see what truly is, for the very first time.
These two paintings are a side by side representation of what it’s like with and without depression. I can never really capture what I experienced, but it’s the only way I can explain it.
How lucky am I to be able to experience life without the cloud of depression. Even if it doesn’t last, I know what it is like and I can pull that feeling with me into the present.