09/04/2026
🐍 ANYONE WANNA HEAR A RATTLESNAKE STORYYYYY?! It’s VERY LONG AND OBNOXIOUS!!🐍
(The video below was just a few peaceful moments before all hell broke loose. 🤪🐍)
Anyone who knows me knows I do A LOT of animal wrangling.
Camel? ✅
Capybara? ✅
Llama? ✅
Horse? ✅
Cow? ✅
Kangaroo? Sure. ✅
But SNAKES?!
Absolutely not.
Those are NOPE ROPES and I do not wrangle them. 😂
Now let me set the scene by rattling off everything I had to accomplish before the day was over…
It was FARRIER DAY, so every hoofed creature on this farm needed their feet done. I put my farrier on strict warning:
“YOU HAVE TO COME EARLY AND WE CANNOT TALK.”
Because both of us talk entirely too much and I had PLACES TO BE. 😂
Somehow, by an actual miracle, we finished at EXACTLY 10:00 AM.
Perfect.
That gave me just enough time to give everybody fresh water, run inside, shower, take Gracie to her ortho appointment, take my sister to her LabCorp appointment, feed everybody, rush to ANOTHER appointment, and somehow make it back home in time for a 6:45 PM private farm tour.
Just a calm, relaxing little Wednesday. 🤪
So I’m doing waters when I look across the farm and think…
“Is that the camel OUT?”
Nah.
Surely my eyes are deceiving me.
They were not.
HUMPHREY WAS OUT. 🙃
And not only did Humphrey escape, but apparently he opened the gates of freedom and let his llama friends AND horse friends out too.
Now usually Humphrey stays fairly close.
But not today.
Today my approximately $10,000 CAMEL decided he wanted to explore the wilderness and took off THROUGH THE WOODS onto a huge piece of property on the other side.
Thankfully my trailer was already hooked up, so off I went to retrieve his giant behind.
The road over there is awful, so eventually I couldn’t drive any farther.
I spotted Humphrey WAY off in the distance.
So there I go…
Bucket of feed in one hand.
Halter and lead rope across my arm.
Walking toward a runaway camel like this is a completely normal way to spend a Wednesday morning.
At first he started acting like he might run.
Then he saw the bucket.
Because apparently food is stronger than freedom. 😂
He came right back to me and let me slip the lead rope around his neck.
Now on the right side of us was grass probably FIVE FEET TALL.
I’m standing there getting ready to put his halter on when suddenly…
RATTLE RATTLE RATTLE.
Y’ALL.
Everything happened so fast.
Humphrey stepped BACKWARD…
ONTO A RATTLESNAKE.
The snake STRUCK at him and was literally up in the air.
WELLLLLLLLLL…
That was the end of Anna the Animal Wrangler.
I abandoned the mission.
I abandoned the camel.
I abandoned the bucket.
I abandoned MY PHONE.
I RAN FOR MY ACTUAL LIFE. 🏃♀️💨🐍
Screaming at the absolute TOP of my lungs.
At some point I tripped about 200 feet from the truck and was literally ROLLING around on the ground trying to recover from the near-death experience I had just created in my own mind. 😂
I finally looked up…
…and here comes HUMPHREY ALSO RUNNING FOR HIS LIFE making his loud camel screaming noise.
So now it’s me screaming.
The camel screaming.
A rattlesnake rattling.
And the llamas?
THE LLAMAS WERE STILL EATING OUT OF THE BUCKET LIKE ABSOLUTELY NOTHING HAD HAPPENED. 😭😂
Humphrey saw the open trailer and JUMPED RIGHT IN.
Apparently he also decided the field trip was over.
Problem was…
MY PHONE WAS STILL BACK THERE.
Most normal people probably would’ve said, “Well. That phone belongs to the rattlesnake now.”
But that phone has my ENTIRE LIFE on it.
Bookings.
Business.
Messages.
Everything.
So yes.
I RISKED MY LIFE FOR AN IPHONE. 😂😂😂
Somehow I retrieved it, survived, got everyone back where they belonged, made it home in time for Gracie to check Humphrey over really well to make sure he hadn’t been bitten, and then jumped in the truck and LEFT FOR OUR APPOINTMENT LIKE NOTHING HAD HAPPENED.
No animals were hurt.
I was not hurt.
The llamas eventually came trotting back home.
Humphrey is fine.
The rattlesnake probably needs therapy.
And somewhere in the middle of our neighbor’s property is still a random bucket that I absolutely did NOT go back for.
They can keep it.
It belongs to the snake now. 🐍🪣😂
Just another peaceful Wednesday at Crosswind Farm. 🤪