12/01/2018
We're not having the Delaney Christmas Light Show this year. Here's why:
There's a TL;DR at the bottom, if you're short on time.
Feel free to share to let others know of our decision so they don't waste time and energy driving out here this holiday season.
It's a roller coaster of a story, so buckle in and grab some Redenbacher's and a tissue.
Earlier in the year, many aspects in our lives lined up to suggest that the idea to have a 2nd child was indeed a good idea. I'll spare you the details of how that works, but shortly thereafter, we were pregnant. Technically, Jeannette got pregnant, but for some reason my body seems to put on weight when hers puts on weight. Emotions: Good
Based on how the OB calculates due dates, ours was determined to be Dec. 15 for our new baby.
Skip ahead a few weeks, and things take a turn. Jeannette was bleeding...excessively. We called in to the OB to tell them of our troubles and to ask how soon they could see us. In the mean time, we consulted Google. By the time we got to the OB, we had learned through Google that we were basically going to die slow horrible deaths. All of us. And our little dogs, too. Emotions: Bad
At our OB, our greatest fears were realized: there appeared to be no baby (or anything) in the uterus. It seemed as though we had indeed suffered a miscarriage. Additionally, the bleeding was coming from a subchorionic hemorrhage. While at the OB's office, we discussed with our midwife the range of possibilities, from our worst fears, to the possibility of things being ok. 1. The bleeding was explained. While a subchorionic hemorrhage can be a bad thing, it doesn't automatically mean the worst. 2. Also, while on the topic of no signs of life in the uterus, we let our midwife know that our actual suspected date of conception differed from their previous calculated due date that was based upon last missed period. (Yes, we use the "My Days" app to keep track of these things ourselves.) Based on this new information, our gestation age was changed by almost a week. This fact could explain why we saw nothing in the uterus yet.
We should have learned our lesson by now, but more googling on the subject of subchorionic hemorrhage didn't alleviate our fears. However, one of Jeannette's co-workers shared her story of how she had the same thing early in her pregnancy, and she now has a healthy child several years old despite the complication.
Emotions: sad, but hopefully optimistic
After one torturous week of waiting, we revisited the OB. After many emotional conversations on the subject, Jeannette and I had somewhat come to terms with whatever the news was going to be: baby or no baby. Bad news was still going to suck, but we were a little more emotionally prepared and we were ready to support each other no matter the outcome.
Shortly after entering the dimly lit room and staring intently at the monitor, we saw what we needed to see. A baby did exist. Wow, what a comforting sight! Emotions: Grateful and happy!
Skip to a couple of weeks later and our next ultrasound. During this ultrasound, the baby could be measured, and an updated due date could be determined. Keep in mind, as parents we do not get to choose the date. It is based upon baby's measurements and not influenced by parents' interests. Yet, we were shocked by the new due date. December 25th. Christmas Day! As much as our family is associated with Christmas, we were still surprised and fascinated by the fact that our baby may be born on Christmas!
So, since my wife is female and my first daughter is female, I strongly desired a boy to help round out our household. Although my wife seemed to mostly agree that we wanted a boy, I usually got the impression that she was more indifferent and would perhaps be even more excited to have another girl. Granted, we are blessed to have a wonderful five year old daughter whom we continue to be very pleased with, and so if our 2nd child turned out to be at all similar to our first, we would both be very pleased. But perhaps just slightly bummed that a boy didn't magically appear in there.
However, Pinterest failed us. Turns out that those 42 Surefire Secrets to Having the Boy of Your Dreams weren't so foolproof after all. Or else there was actually a 43rd secret that we failed to unlock when we weren't willing to sign up our email for the How to Make a Male newsletter and pay 7 Easy Installments of $9.95. Our loss, perhaps. It turns out the baby's gender was determined to be female, and my wife and I quickly became perfectly pleased with that outcome. Perhaps I should just get another male dog. Or perhaps a 3rd baby will become the plan. Would someone with all male children like to share their secret??
Jeannette's pregnancy was pretty normal, with the exception of swelling. Bellies should swell, feet should not. Being a nurse, my wife is on her feet for long periods of time, and for the last several months of the pregnancy, her feet were not the beautiful feet that we were used to seeing. They looked like they could be popped with a pin and drain for days. Elevating her feet whenever possible became a priority, and struggling to pull on her compression socks because a new job of mine, and sometimes our daughter even helped. I'll tell you, pulling on tight compression socks is no easy task, and I'm sure glad that I don't have to use them on my own feet. Due to the baby belly preventing Jeannette from doing so, I very willingly put them on her feet for her, although it was not an enjoyable task. Willing, yes. Enjoy, no.
So, with the Christmas due date quickly approaching, let's skip ahead to two weeks ago.
Sick Mommy
While in the middle of a 12 hour shift, Jeannette started feeling very odd, and she knew something was going on, so she checked her blood pressure. 175 / 100. That's not good. Wonderful coworkers picked up her slack and let her rest some, and by the time she finished her shift, her blood pressure numbers had indeed come down some. Still feeling terrible, she called her OB office as soon as they opened, and they told her to go straight to the hospital, where they would meet her and monitor her.
So, I drove her to hospital #1, where they hooked her up to this and that, ran blood tests for this and that, and soon determined that she seemed to have preeclampsia. Also preterm labor. Bummer. The contractions were quite frequent, and looked similar to a those of a birthing mother in a different room close by. After starting Jeannette on some medicines, we all discussed the possibilities. Being 35 weeks pregnant, it was confirmed that if something took a turn for the worse, we would be unable to deliver the baby at our planned hospital. A hospital with a NICU able to care for a premature baby was needed. So, a transfer was in order. Emotions: Bad
Ambulance ride #1 was hard on my heart as a husband. I wasn't able to ride with my wife, and so I took our vehicle. I intended to follow them, but after the ambulance driver stopped at a minor vehicle accident that had recently taken place and got out to check on the victims, I proceeded onward so as to not impede the flow of traffic already waiting. I assumed that the ambulance would shortly thereafter rush by me with lights on and sirens blaring. I was wrong. I drove the path that they had intended to take. I drove just over the speed limit as I constantly monitored my rear-view mirror, waiting to see the lights. I remained in a near constant state of prayer, wishing for safe passage of my wife as I drove the unfamiliar route of rain-slickened mountains full of curves. It was very nerve-wracking. I just wished that I would see the lights. I never did. Within a couple of minutes after finding my parking place at hospital #2, I saw the ambulance pull in. The lights weren't on. Nor were the sirens. They never were. I still don't know why, but it doesn't matter now. I saw my wife through the back glass of the ambulance and she was safe. That is all that mattered. Emotions: grateful, but nervous
At hospital #2, more blood tests and 24 hr tests indeed determined that Jeannette had preeclampsia. Some of the treatment slowed the contractions and helped Jeannette to feel better, and for a short time, we actually thought we might get to go home and wait it out for a week so that we could deliver the baby at our desired hospital. The doctor had other thoughts. More monitoring and staying another night. We eventually all reached the agreement that while Jeannette and baby in belly were pretty stable, we would go ahead and induce labor and have the baby. Emotions: anxious
Cervidil was given to soften the cervix. This was expected to take place over the next 10 or 12 hours, and then Jeannette would be induced the next morning, which happened to be Thanksgiving day. Well, that's not what happened. A few hours later after much severe pain and vomiting, baby was born. Sure, the cord was wrapped around the baby's neck, but a quick snip and baby was good. The baby's vitals never got bad, so that was a minor issue at that point. Baby was 6 lbs 8 oz and 18 3/4 inches. For being five weeks premature, this was awesome! Emotions: proud of my girls, elated
Finally, baby was out. Safely in our arms, skin-to-skin. Beautiful. What a wonderful thing, this miracle of childbirth. Baby was beautiful. Mommy was wonderful. It was a wonderful time. We held her. Brielle that is. We loved on her for a while, and then we let them take her to the nursery for a couple of hours, as is standard. They brought her back to us. She had low glucose and low oxygen saturation, but not quite at levels that would immediately necessitate her going to the NICU. Borderline levels. Levels that they would continue to monitor and then act accordingly. We had her back. We held her, enjoying every moment with our beautiful Brielle. Jeannette even successfully nursed her some. Breasts are best. The human body is an amazing thing, and it was a beautiful, touching sight. After a few hours, we gave her back to the nursery, as they wanted to continue monitoring and testing Brielle. Emotions: feeling blessed
Then our hearts broke.
They kept her, and they brought her back to the NICU.
Jeannette was on medication that required her to remain in bed for the next 24 hours after birth, and so she was heartbroken. She couldn't even go see Brielle until late the next day. This was not good for Jeannette's blood pressure. I reluctantly left Jeannette to go visit my new daughter. I would report back to Jeannette as soon as I got any news, meanwhile Jeannette would try to calm herself and help her blood pressure to go back down.
When you have a daughter born just a few hours ago, you don't want to see oxygen, a feeding tube, and 72 wires connected to her body. It was a sad sight.
This Daddy rarely cries. This Daddy cried. Tears of joy during labor and birth, but now tears of sadness, fear, and angst. I could hardly talk. Words don't come easily when one is that emotional. Words didn't come, so I just listened. I listened to the nurses. I listened to the neonatologist. I was sad at what I heard.
Devastatingly sad. The neonatologist informed us of a heart murmur. A loud, rough murmur that was definitely not normal. After some testing, we were told that it was pulmonary stenosis. A heart valve was bad. That's what it meant. Brielle's heart was working very hard to overcome a severe pressure differential across the chambers of her heart. A secondary artery that existed only until shortly after birth was her only saving grace. This secondary artery allowed blood to flow, but it would close shortly after birth. Medicine was immediately given to prevent this secondary artery from closing. If this secondary artery didn't exist...No, we won't talk about that. What a miracle it is that this secondary artery exists in newborns!
So, hospital #2 recommended us to hospital #3, where further testing could be done, and then a procedure could take place if necessary.
Jeannette and I cried together as we hugged each other. She was still stuck in bed. She couldn't go see Brielle. We had all made the decision that Brielle would be transferred to hospital #3, but Jeannette still couldn't see her.
This all created a terribly sad situation. Would I, Dad and Husband, follow Ambulance #2 several hours away in the middle of the night and leave my wife, or would I stay with my wife, trust that Brielle was in good hands, and pray that we could find a compassionate doctor who was willing to discharge Jeannette so that we would go be with Brielle? I felt terrible for Jeannette, and I felt terrible for Brielle. My main concern was being able to make any decision necessary with my spouse. I sure didn't want any huge decision to be solely in my hands without being able to discuss it with Jeannette.
Jeannette was taken off of bed rest at about the same time we learned that a female doctor was working with other patients, and that we would be able to speak with her (and hopefully convince her to discharge Jeannette) soon.
Jeannette and I were finally together able to go back to the NICU shortly after Jeannette was able to get out of bed and shortly after the ambulance with 4 caregivers from hospital #3 arrived to transfer Brielle. While happy to see her daughter, Jeannette was still devastated to see Brielle hooked up to everything in the incubator bed. We both sobbed as we watched, listened, and tried to speak a bit with the crew who would be transporting Brielle. After a lengthy process, a nurse picked up Brielle and placed her in the transport cart incubator bed where she would remain for the duration of the ambulance ride #2. Very close to midnight on Thanksgiving, we reluctantly parted ways. Emotions: wicked anxiety
After arriving back in our birthing room, a doctor visited us. She was very understanding as she agreed that Jeannette's blood pressure sure as heck wasn't going to get any better while being separated by over 100 miles from her daughter. It was decided that the best thing to do would be to discharge Jeannette and let her go be with her daughter. The doctor suggested that we get a little sleep before heading out and driving through the night, and that she would write the discharge orders when we were ready to leave. We understood that Brielle was going to have an echocardiogram and perhaps other tests run on her upon her arrival to hospital #3, and so we felt the most comfortable following the doctor's suggestion.
When Jeannette and I arrived at hospital #3, we learned that the diagnosis was confirmed, pulmonary stenosis. We didn't have much time to think or even sulk at that point, as the doctors had already determined that it necessitated a procedure, and that it would take place in about two hours. On Black Friday. Having educated ourselves somewhat on the possibilities of what would be required, we were extremely grateful to learn that the critical status of her condition did not immediately require open heart surgery. Instead, some sort of arteriogram procedure with a balloon would be performed. During the procedure, doctors went in through a vein in her groin, up into her heart all the way to the bad valve, and performed the balloon procedure, inflating the balloon in an effort to effectively rip open the fused parts of the valve so that blood could flow more properly.
And that was it.
No open heart surgery. No cutting. Only a small hole in her skin was required.
Doctor's weren't able to say whether we'd be there for days or weeks, but we were fine. Our Brielle was done with the worst of it and hopefully on the road to recovery.
More nights of monitoring in the NICU, paying particular attention to her oxygen saturation level, as this is the primary indicator of Brielle's heart valve issue. After a day or two, Brielle's levels were looking good, and the doctors were able to give us the OK to start breastfeeding again. It was a wonderful feeling. Jeannette had been pumping furiously at both hospitals after birth, determined to give her daughter the breast milk that was formulated just for her.
While still feeling sluggish from all the medicines, Jeannette was grateful and eager to hold her daughter once again, and these steps in the road to recovery helped to lift all of our spirits. We were extremely grateful.
After two nights in the NICU, we were moved into a step-down unit for another night in preparation for going home soon. We were almost required to stay a second night in the step-down unit after Brielle's weight gain wasn't as much as a doctor wished for, but we had already been troubleshooting the breastfeeding process and begun to figure out what worked best for Brielle and Mommy. After the doctors saw how serious we were and how well things progressed since the last time Brielle's weight was taken, the consensus was that we would be fine to go home.
Finally. After two ambulance rides and eight days in hospitals, we were home.
The only reason that I am able to write all of this is because we are HOME. Happy. Healthy. Home. As a family. Mommy, Daddy, and TWO daughters. We had only seen our five year old daughter once when she visited us in the hospital, but she hadn't gotten to see her sister during the week that we were in hospitals because she wasn't allowed in the NICU. Needless to say, she was thrilled to see her sister and ran to her immediately when her grandparents brought her back home after our arrival.
While there seemed to be such tragedy and heartache, it has quickly been replaced by love and gratitude. Love and gratitude for Brielle and for all of the caregivers involved in our lives during this process. We wish for them all the best that life has to offer.
So, while we are enjoying our family this holiday season, we hope that you will be able to do the same with your family.
Be slow to judge others, for everyone is facing some sort of battle. Some battles are worse than others, but everyone's life is a battle. These battles don't create victims, they create survivors. We are all survivors of life. Until we die. Have gratitude and love while you are alive, and your life will be better than most.
I love you all, and I wish the very best for all of you who are reading this. Merry Christmas and Happy Holidays!
We apologize to the two local charities that we will not be collecting donations for this year. Multi County Cancer Support Network and the Hillsboro Community Backpack Program perform a great service for our area, and we hope that people might reach out to them directly and open their hearts and their wallets and support them this holiday season.
Love,
Kenny, Jeannette, Aubrey, and Brielle Delaney
TL;DR summary: Got pregnant --> miscarriage? no --> preeclampsia and preterm labor --> ambulance ride #1 to hospital #2 --> induce labor at 35 weeks --> baby in NICU --> ambulance ride #2 to hospital #3 --> pulmonary stenosis --> heart procedure --> more NICU for baby --> recovery --> HOME now --> blessed and extremely grateful for our new daughter, Brielle --> No Delaney Christmas Light Show for this year...
