06/10/2026
The gang found themselves in the service of a cloister of Tortle nuns praying upon the back of a centuries-dead (and still rotting) gargantuan sea turtle. Gross. đ˘đ¤˘
The dead turtle island had become overrun by packs of wild family dogs, so it was time for solutions. Time for adventure!
The Flight of Dave: Favio, Cleric of Gander (god of geese), flew in on Dave, a giant goose, alongside his companion Pumbelina. After a rough landing, Pumbelina lost her ear. Favio tried to heal it using goose s**t. It caused a nasty infection, shocking absolutely no one. đŚ
The Barrel Roll: Chester and Nedward were next to ride Dave to the island, accompanied by Samantha, the lead Tortle monk. Dave had another bad landing day, doing a barrel roll and dumping them waist-deep into rotting turtle flesh.
The Rise of the Sentient Pack: The wild dogs quickly found the second group. Samantha tried to hide in her shell, but peeked out at the wrong moment. The dogs made quick work of her, tunneling through the shell for the tasty bits. This critical attack didnât just kill Samanthaâit allowed the pack leader to gain full sentience by donning her shell. đđŚ´
Escalation: Nedward managed to get some dogs to sit for pets, while Chester convinced them to keep on eating. The dogs went after the remaining tortles, turning a regular wild dog problem into a wild sentient dog problem.
Mad Max, Canine Edition: Favio and Pumbelina struggled to track the pack (hard to find paw prints when the dogs are all bi-pedal now). They stumbled upon a Mad Max-style settlement where dogs in Tortle shells ruled the land. Naturally, Pumbelina tripped on the way in, flew into a rage, and killed everything.
With the island completely destroyed, Favio sought guidance from Gander, aligning the crew in a flying V. Gander appeared, honked, and blessed them the only way a goose god knows how: đŠ
Gross. Gross. And more gross.
The next show is approaching! Catch us on Thursday, June 25! đâ¨
