09/10/2026
The Israeli Foreign Minister very diplomatically announced that the British government has formally been sanctioned by Israel. Since most of you have zero clue what that means, please allow me to translate for you...
"To all the nations of the world, Happy Rosh Ha'Shannah. The Kingdom of Israel has risen from the ashes of Auschwitz, and is putting you all on notice. The millennia-long war by Christendom and the Islamic Caliphates on the Jewish People has officially ended.
"Your collective violence against the Jewish People, including torture, forced conversions, burning at the stake, ethnic cleansing, and genocide will no longer be tolerated. Israel was built for one purpose... to protect Jews from YOU, because you cannot be trusted not to commit all of the aforementioned heinous acts against Jews. We see that you're determined to try this again, and we will not permit it. We will fulfill our duty to protect our people.
"You've all convinced yourselves that you are morally superior to us, because of your deserved collective shame regarding your actual and continued objectively horrific moral depravity with regard to Jews. You can keep living in a dream world where endangering or attacking Jews will go unpunished, but you are about to get a rude awakening if you don't consult your better angels.
"Your diplomatic and geopolitical games have at long last exhausted our patience, and from here on out you should all tread very carefully. Israel is the first and only successful decolonization effort in history by an indigenous population returning to their stolen ancestral homeland, and that is no longer up for debate. We don't care what you think, and you have no jurisdiction over this matter. Besides, your own countries are a hot mess, so you'd be wise to fix your own problems before sticking your noses where they don't belong.
"If you choose to ignore our words, and keep endangering the Jewish People by spreading lies about us, inciting to violence against us, or playing economic and military games with us... you... will... be... destroyed.
"If you're worried about Iran, please note that we are a hundred thousand times more powerful than they are, so if you're afraid of that paper tiger... you might want to think twice about further aggravating us, because we will become your absolute worst nightmare. This is your final warning. Have a lovely day. ๐" ๐ฎ๐ฑ๐ฅโ๏ธ๐ฅ๐๐๐