Fresno Mystery

04/03/2017

My mother died Saturday March 11, 2017. My brother texted that mom was in the hospital for dialysis in India where my parents vacation in the winters to escape the cold of Toronto, Canada. I applied for an e-visa that night, Friday, I recalled my trip to India thirteen years ago wherein my mother was hospitalized for two weeks and my father slept on the thin, hard, wood bench, never leaving her side. No meals or even sheets were provided. I took care of them then and I wanted to do so again now.

I called Dad Saturday morning to tell him I'd be flying out Sunday if I got my visa by email that day or Monday when I could go to the consulate in San Francisco to get an emergency visa. My dad said "Thayree mummy pooree vee hogaeyee" (Your mom is already finished). As my heart broke and the sobs escaped in a sudden burst, he simply said "foon rukday" (put the phone down".

My brother flew to India Saturday after securing an emergency visa at the Toronto consulate that was open until noon. I flew to India on Sunday after receiving mine by email Saturday night. We were to return April 1.

I feel transformed by my three weeks there. Unlike previous visits where I learned about wedding rituals from my mom, this time, my Dad, brother, and I learned about Indian cremation rituals for my mom. Unspeakable grief and concern for her and each other wove the three of us into a united braid of love. I stood outside the glass wall at the airport gate when they were boarding, i was separated from my brother and Dad, the only elder left in our family. My aunts, uncles, grandparents and forefathers have all returned to the dirt. I cried silently and unabashedly at the pain of separation.

As I waited another three and a half hours for my flight to depart and the ensuing fifteen hour flight to San Francisco, I read the book I recently authored "A Story of Love". It seemed plain that i was inspired to write it to preserve the legacy and love of my parents in the autobiographical account of my life. I cried and laughed as I relived the memories.

"There is no great loss without some small gain" said Ma in Little House on the Prairie and I tried to find the small gain in my loss now that I was separated by three thousand miles from my biological family. When I opened Facebook today for the first time in three weeks, I read Tom Sims review of my book in Kings River Life and I found that gain. I had wondered if anyone would benefit from the tale I found difficult but necessary to write. Tom got it! A piece of my mother lived on inside of him.

Mark and I are preparing to plant the Musk Melon, Yellow Watermelon, Okra, Squash and other seeds I brought from India. I want desperately and deeply to embody the belief that my mom touted: True Love for others is expressed in a meal you prepare from ingredients you grew with your own hands. I'm sure the plants will be watered by my tears and nurtured by the love of my hands in the coming months. I look forward to sharing them with those I love in wonderful creations or fresh from the field when people hire me as a personal chef in Fresno as they did in Santa Barbara.

Until the summer brings heat, sweet fruits and the Organic Stone Fruit Jubilee that I volunteer to put on, I hope you read Tom's review and meet my mother the "Matriarch" and my father the "Apprentice" through the pages of my book. I'm confident that you will be as moved by their lessons of love and life as I am.

May we all take the time to read and write the stories of our life in an effort to promote love.

http://kingsriverlife.com/03/18/a-story-of-love-by-tirath-hamilton/

by Tom SimsTara Hamilton has written another volume from her heart. The first was Cook, Grow, Love where she unfolded a legacy of sharing love through food that ultimately led her to become a chef and a farmer as well as a “farmacist,” and local food advocate in the Fresno area.

05/13/2016

You know what brings me back fo Fresno every year? the Organic Stone Fruit Jubilee on June 25th, 5-8:30 pm. I have traveled the world and been to many festivals and events but none captures the love this event does.

I'm teaching a pie making demo. Farmers are in the orchard not pushing for sales of their goods but giving out free samples of their best fruit. Art with flower arranging, tea ceremonies and a kids craft corner. Free farm tours and stone fruit food, treats and drinks for purchase. An evening in a non competitive environment connected to the soil that nurtures us. Like the page www.facebook.com/organicstonefruitjubilee for all the updates.

Hope to see all you dear friends out there. We'll be selling our stone fruit lemonade and iced tea 😍

A celebration of organic tree fruit grown right here in the central valley.

03/30/2016

Many of you have been wondering what I'm up to and why I have been so quiet on the western front. I'm sorry. With my grandson passing away, I needed to sort out my priorities. I'm happy to announce I have a volunteer radio show on Party934.com called Mindful Living. It reminds me of the conversations I'd have during my cooking classes at the restaurant. I felt so strongly about health, I wanted to infuse everyone with that passion. I want all of my dear friends, family and customers to live long and be happy. I hope listening to my show helps you do that. I was insecure about my new venture but I received my first evaluation by a veteran of 20 years that gave my show 10/10 for every aspect. If it's good enough for him, I'm sure it's good enough for those I love. Past shows are archived if you want to catch up with me. I am working on a book, it's fiction. It's helping me process. Hope you'll be reading it soon :) http://party934.com/MindfulLiving/

06/17/2015

Butterflies tell us summer is here! Sarai and I will be at the Organic Stone Fruit Jubilee at 5790 Indianola Avenue, Clovis, CA from 5:00 pm to 8:30 pm. The first day of summer can't taste sweeter than if you're sampling 50 varieties of peaches, nectarines, plums, apricots etc. Of course the pie might be sweeter, or our stone fruit lemonade, iced tea, angel juice, or the ice cream, pizza, tamales or sandwiches.... you get the drift. Kids under 12 are free. Adults are $5.

Seriously, the farmers are getting older and tired. They spend six months volunteering their time so they can associate with consumers enjoying the fruit of their labor. Show your local farmers some love by tasting and buying their fruit. $5 and $10 bags are sold and you choose what you fill them with. Kids craft corner, pony rides, Japanese tea ceremony in an authentic miniature japanese tea house shipped from Japan, flower arranging. Craig Scharton from Peeve's and Dan O'Connell will be talking about the local food scene. Joyce will be doing a jam making demo. Do I need to keep going?

Love you all and look forward to seeing you there!

06/11/2015

Come one, come all to kick off Summer next Saturday June 20th from 5:00-8:30 p.m. Recorded the morning show for Great Day KMPH FOX 26 for Thursday June 18th, tune in to get a preview of what to expect at the Organic Stone Fruit Jubilee this year. Shade cover throughout! Stone fruit pies, lemonades, Japanese tea ceremony, free farm tours, kids craft corner etc. Kids ask me every year when it's time and the time is now! Don't know if we will do the jubilee in this format again so visit this historic event dedicated to the memory of Rosemary Nightingale. Bryce Loewen did a bang up job on his farm interview so taste the sweetness that Blossom Bluffs boasts. — with Anahi Luconi and Bruno Luconi.

03/12/2015

The Disney story "up" had a real life counterpart in a woman who had been a spy but refused to sell the home her mother had died in for a million dollars to developers. She went from being a pain for the developers to being cared for by the crew dwarfing her home with the mega building.

I know I've been scarce on Facebook as I collect myself and take stock., I've spent the last 25 years putting everyone's needs before my own after Kyal's birth when I was just 20 years old. My heart grew to include three daughters,and two babies later in life. My desire to give my children the best, healthies food prompted me to expand my heart to include all the residents of Fresno.

I loved feeding all of you and I miss you and thought you might want an update on my ventures. My focus has been Saving my farm which was neglected after Mark was hit by a truck and couldn't farm two years ago. We have been scraping every penny together to pay off the back property taxes before June 30th when the county can sell it for non payment. Although our indiegogo campaign wasn't funded, the generosity of friends and strangers to help save my farm was the inspiration I needed.

My son Kyal and his wife Ari, who many of you know was my right hand, have joined our fight. We have decided to pursue our dream of an education permaculture farm model on two acres of our farm. We have leased 17 acres to Punjabi almond farmers who I trust will pay us so we can stay on top of future property taxes.

This weekend we are going to be clearing out our rec room of much of the restaurant equipment we were storing there since we will be focusing on farming and not opening another restaurant. Don't despair! We plan to hold cooking classes from time to time and we will continue to include your meal in the class. In fact Kyal believes we should hold feasts that educate you about the alchemy of food instead of just how to prepare food yourself.

In the next few months we will be helping with the Organic Stone Fruit Jubilee which is on Saturday June 20th from 4:30-8 pm. Rosemary Nightingale who grew organic herbs and flowers in Squaw Valley has passed away after battling cancer this past year. Her memorial was this past Saturday and th jubilee will be held in her honor this year. The organic farmers that volunteer to put this event on are getting older and we need volunteers to help with that too.

How can you help our farm? Your support by buying products like Angel Juice, which is sold by the case, is vital. My book is available on Amazon now! www.cookgrowlove.com We are making cultured fruit rolls called Sofi. If you have access to unwanted bulk organic fruit that is blemished or over ripe, we can use it! We will have a drink booth at Lucidity which is our first festival from April 10-12. Kyal and Ari's goal is to save the farm as a community gathering place to teach and support healthy choices in Fresno. We hope your business and family will benefit from access to a country oasis that reminds us of what nature should be.

We have made a partial payment on the taxes because of the farm lease and our personal income. We hope that, with your help, we can earn enough to pay off the remainder before June 30th.

I take care of an angelic 2 year old on a 120 acre organic ranch in Carpinteria part time. I cook for his parents too.,As I made the Pad Thai sauce yesterday and poured it over the kale, romanesca and purple cauliflower fresh from their personal garden I missed cooking for all of you. Their farm is a visual reminder of what I strive to create. The workers sang and listened to music as they harvested lemons by hand into canvas bags. The birds chirped, the air was sweet and life was replete with joy. We hope to enjoy that with our children in Fresno one day as this family does down here.

I hope you enjoy reading about this extraordinary woman whose home is being auctioned off Friday. Let's not put our dreams on the auction block. The school we made meals for, ACEL, has closed too and we need to support small businesses that challenge the status quo in Fresno because a new world awaits and we can be the change we want to see in the world. As she said -- money isn't everything. What I wouldn't give to see Rosemary Nightingale, Edna Tarrats, Laura Guzman Magill, Rosa Gonzales, Ericlee Gilmore alive and healthy instead of dead from cancer.

I refuse to give up ground or deny my convictions. I hope you stand with me to better Fresno.

http://yhoo.it/1KXt7Og

Edith Macefield's story is legendary: She wouldn't leave her ramshackle house, not for a million bucks -- so developers built a shopping center around her. The house is at last hitting the auction block.

10/28/2014

My life has been irrevocably changed. I had a dream of a healthy restaurant bustling with locals and tourists in Fresno. I worked hard daily to realize it because I am stubborn and saw the dream with more clarity than the reality. Some days reality fed my dream with full dinner shows and happy throngs of customers. Most days the restaurant was like a large mansion with visitors that were few but ecstatic about being treated to a royal feast of nature's bounty. The last couple of months opened my eyes for reasons beyond the drop in my business and reality came crashing in. The best of intentions can't survive without financial support in this system. I blogged until I thought my heart was spent without seeing a measurable difference. Defeated, I embraced change and decided to close the restaurant. It wasn't that I stopped believing in what I was doing, I just stopped feeling it was my responsibility to convince others. You all changed me. Permanently.

I was raised by a gregarious, vibrant mother whose culinary and social skills intimidated me. By a devoted father whose worship of God was reflected in his treatment of the plants he grew organically. Food was life and even sauce coating the plate was a waste. My dad would reserve a piece of tortilla to wipe his plate clean. It never looked as though it needed washing. My faith in God and love for food seemed minuscule in his shadow. I started a magazine about food and entertainment as my first business. My husband printed it for me and suggested we start a printing company instead. I agreed and our business became the number one provider of full color cards in Toronto. It was a huge success until people stopped getting things printed with the spread of the internet.

I started the restaurant because the twins wanted to go to culinary school and cook for a living. I thought this would be a business we could do as a family. I felt like a failure as Kyal left the restaurant for his job at Cuvee, Lydia expressed her dislike of working at the restaurant and Rachel's world revolved around the love in her life. I picked up the pieces of my shattered dreams thinking I'd never succeeded at anything I believed in no matter how adaptable and generous I was. My purpose had only been to realize the dreams of others. I'd never been the star of my life. I'd been a mother, a wife, a daughter, a friend, a dreamer but never manifested my dreams. That was a difficult thing. I had finally dared to dream and for what? To face rejection on a grand scale after investing so much of our life savings to pursue it? Aside from a larger dinner show and cooking class-- business hadn't picked up. How was I going to pay the existing 2,400 pge bill and the new 2,800 pge bill?

Things changed this Thursday. I came up on Wednesday night and found a card from Sherri Lee who no longer eats at our restaurant or comes to our classes because she cooks with no salt or sugar to support her son. She reassured me that I was loved and had changed the lives of many, including hers. Minutes later I experienced rejection on a grander, more deceitful scale than I had dreamt possible and that night I slept not at all. I strived to come to grips with life and awoke at 5 am and blogged about our location because I didn't want any naysayers spewing negativity at me in my current emotional state. I prepared a small catering order for 8 am, glad I had a purpose to keep me focussed. I had come laden with organic goodness from Cal-organics for our feast on friday night and I began chopping onions and roasting tomatoes for the Indian feast. To my surprise customers started coming in. Thursday we exceeded the $600 we needed to make. Ari arrived from Santa Barbara with Kyal and I jetted out to get the decorations for the Bhangra party and the few remaining food items. Brent Mercer, like a knight in shining armor, decorated with me until 10 pm and kept my spirits more optimistic. It had been a good day.

On Friday morning, I awoke at 5 am again and prepared all the meat before we opened as I promised my customers and as my Dad would have wanted. ABC 30 came out at 9 am. Only two tables for breakfast. Months ago I had promised to speak for a group at noon and I honored that commitment because Jah expects my yes to be yes even when life deals me a lousy hand. They surprised me with a check for my time and it was the thought not the amount that touched my heart. We got busy at lunch and I had the most marvelous time at the Bhangra party. The drummer and his band refused payment because I was his "auntie", his friend's mother. The henna artist was the fastest I'd ever met and earned every penny she received. Volunteers came out of thin air to help serve. I got to dance and visit with my personal friends who came to say good-bye from near and far while the volunteers even washed the dishes.

Saturday morning I looked forward to an easier day but customers came in at exactly 9 am. Mark helped Ari in the kitchen while Warren and I took care of the front. 6 people from my speaking engagement came in for lunch. Their support showed they cared and mourned our closure despite learning of it just the day before. We went from 35 reservations to 80 for our dinner show. How would I find extra helpers? Sarah rescued me by contacting Eddie and his crew. Leigh's twins came in to help. Other volunteers came in and somehow everything got done. Everyone had a good time and the restaurant was filled end to end. Karan Johnson who started the dinner show with us was there to end it. Leigh who has authored many of the scripts and been a sterling example that life continues despite injustice buoyed my spirits. So many customers came in to say good-bye and I felt loved, so loved. Fran from Blossom Bluffs came in and asked to buy the two tables dedicated to their farm as a momento of our love for them. The Kerns came to the dinner show, present laden with two bottles of wine and an earnest request to visit their farm and stay with them and stay connected through the Stone Fruit Jubilee in June. Tom Willey called to check on us.

Sunday morning we were dragging but thought it would be a slow day. The opposite was true and we were as busy as Mother's day. People waited patiently for us to serve them. Some took their own water out of the fridge. Only one table got impatient and was leaving when I assured them I'd comp their meal and put them to the front of the line if they stayed. It was so important to me that no one get upset on our last weekend. I wanted it to be only love. They agreed and didn't get frustrated when they had to switch their Chicken Tikka to Tuscany Chicken and wait for more eggs to boil for their egg salad wraps because we kept running out of everything. If I'd ever lamented that the friends who shared my faith didn't seem to support me, they overwhelmed me with their love, patience and support that day. Customers came in and expressed their regret that they hadn't done more. They cried with nostalgia as they realized it was their last time dining there, I cried too. I wished for a small class as 2 pm came and went without a break and I hadn't prepped for class. We had orders until after 3 pm and class started at 4. The restaurant was filled end to end for the class that day too. I had drank a smoothie all day and my reserves were depleted but they refilled it to overflowing with their love. James had brought a friend for our final dinner show and helped me in the kitchen to prepare for class. We taught raw cheesecake and Mac n Cheese made with butternut squash. It was amazing and simple. They waited patiently for me to say good-bye through alternating tears and laughs. Richard helped clean up and took the head shot I needed for Monday's audition.

Monday morning I left at 5:30 am for the audition. I struggled to stay awake on my way back and dreamt of an afternoon nap at 2 pm. Bruno came in to get his empty fruit boxes. On my arrival they needed my help with a late lunch crowd. We slipped out to buy a few missing things for the group of 25 coming for dinner. At 5 pm customers started pouring in for dinner. Somehow we juggled the crowd and set up for the group. I was concerned they would be upset that others were still there but they were lovely. They wanted to know about the genesis of our restaurant. I thought I could speak about it logically after the last few days but the emotion escaped as tears running down my cheeks. A couple came in for dinner and the man said our food was some of the cleanest food he'd ever eaten in his life including London, England and Los Angeles. He felt lighter after eating here.

For years I've been putting a piece of my heart of every plate. Like the Sophia culture in the Angel Juice Kyal makes that grows when fed with honey, the pieces of my heart were nourished by the energy and love from the people who consumed it. My heart is larger now than ever before. You all made my dreams of a bustling restaurant on Parkway drive a reality. The last four days were a manifestation of my dreams. In my head, the customer's hadn't been as ecstatic or kind. The show received more laughs, the servers were more professional and the performers were dearer to my heart than in my dreams. The class was fuller, asked more questions and sat yearning for me to share my heart, which included my tears and gratefulness with a patience that made me replete with love. Our final day didn't fizzle and die with the strain of our efforts but was an explosion of love and support from our customers. Hugs, kind words, happy smiles and euphoric exclamations and patience are what dreams are made of. Fairies don't make wishes come true, all of us do. Thanks for being like angels in my life. You didn't let my efforts fizzle and die, unnoticed and unimportant. I was lifted on the wings of your love and saw clearly that this chapter of my life mattered. To you and me.

There will always be the negative ones. They did a video where actors pretended to have no money on their EBT card when paying for groceries in a small town. Every time, strangers paid for them. Then they had an actor make fun of the person and try to dissuade others and it didn't stop people's generosity. That's the kind of town I dream Fresno will become. A town that takes care of their needy because we empathize with their needs. Thanks for helping me see all of your faces because you share my dream of justice and love expressed through human hands.

Friday, Monday and Tuesday we are going to be selling the tables we colored with the stories of farmers. The chairs that sat the divine hearts that ate our food. The equipment that rejoiced blending organic produce into delicious creations. Frozen fruit, peeled and blended by us for winter crepes and waffles that won't be served by us. I will post about when you can come to see the physical creations that supported our dreams. On the start of this new journey may we take with us just what we need to remember the love we shared.

10/23/2014

The question I get asked most is "why would you set up your business on that side of town?" UC Davis said our target should be agritourism and a freeway location with easy on and easy off access was best but it is more than that and I couldn't put my finger on it until yesterday. I've been discriminated against for most of my life because of the color of my skin, sometimes because of my gender and sometimes because of my religious beliefs.

In India, there was a caste system for many years, although it's now outlawed it still exists. My dad is a Sikh priest and Sikhism says there is no Jath or path with means no caste and no partiality, people are equal in God's eyes. You couldn't escape the reality though. Going in and out of our village we saw the inequality. Outside the village walls is where the servants lived and beyond that the homeless. We couldn't get to our big, fancy houses until we passed by the inequity caused by money. It was a daily reminder that those people could be us if we lost our money and our property. Those areas were not dangerous because they were in the public eye.

Disadvantaged people would often knock on our door and say "kuneeyadaan". They were asking for a gift from our heart. My mom would always make them the same food we had eaten or give them a gift of clothing that we would have worn. I recall that one day the man complained about the food my mom had me prepare him. My mom was incensed and told him we weren't a restaurant and that if he wanted to be choosy he should go pay for his own food. When someone would act superior, my friend Belinda would say "what, you think your excrement doesn't stink?" No matter how we dress or feed our human bodies we are all the same.

In Santa Barbara a criminal element began hanging out in a neglected warehouse area. How did the city react? A lot like they would have in India. They encouraged businesses to set up in that area. Most of the wineries are located in the "Funk" zone. Now if residents had refused to go to that area, the wineries would have failed and the criminal element would have taken over -- but that didn't happen. The Funk zone has become an artistic area and Santa Barbara residents don't refuse to go to there. Homeless people are treated with dignity and many programs are established to feed them. Most are respectful and clean up after themselves. They sleep on the same beaches tourists walk on. Sit on the benches on State street and no one is bothered by it. They are a reminder of our humanity.

I've gone to restaurants where people feel that because they have money to spend, the servers, chefs and owners should do their bidding. They treat them like servants. I am not a servant. I am not trying to please people to get their money. I have a valuable service to offer and you can pay me a fair price for that. The fact that some refuse to come to this area and dangle a carrot of wealth in front of me if I run my business where and how they want has no impact on me -- beyond causing me sadness that they have forgotten their humanity. If 3 or 4 businesses set up on our section of parkway drive and customers came here,the unsavory characters would go somewhere less visible because they thrive on anonymity.

I bought my daughter her wedding dress at Shareen's Downtown in L.A. on Tuesday. The area was terrible. There was security bars all over the huge industrial complex and we had to go to the back side of the building to enter. There was dirt for parking and the view was terrible. The industrial complex was reminiscent of the fashion district in Toronto. Designers transformed the inside of old buildings into fashion mecca's with no dressing rooms and a big sign that said "no boys allowed". Shareen occasionally came over to check on us and she is one of the most competent women I've ever met. Her dresses weren't cheap but they were much less than the fancy boutiques in North Fresno. A designer dress was 1,400 not 4,000 so she was doing a brisk business. None of the reviews mentioned that the area was terrible.

My goal has been nutrition access. Making healthy, organic food affordable for everyone not the uber rich. I am not a slave to those with money, I am a business owner trying to improve my neighborhood, community and world. I have honestly met the most wonderful people that live in Fresno. The people too afraid to come to this area should realize that the entire city reflects our humanity and if it's broke we need to fix it. Ignoring it is abdicating control, we need to take that control back because I disagree with the ending of Animal Farm which concluded by saying "All animals are equal, some are more equal than others". The Bible says "God is not partial" and none of us have the right to justify partiality and discriminate because of wealth or education.

I am brown and I know what it feels like to be marginalized, I strive never to do that to anyone. For those who won't come here,I respect your right to do what pleases you but I ask you, if everyone had your attitude what would happen to our city? Would it not look like Gotham city? America was established to be free from the taxes and tyranny of the British. India fought a similar battle. In our own country there was signs that said "no dogs or Indians allowed". Santa Barbara has many wealthy people but they donate equally. Dolly Parton has a program where every child under the age of 5 who registers receives a free book monthly. Anyone in Santa Barbara county can access that gift not just some of them. We choose with our dollars whether we want a segregated society based on exclusion or we want a humane society based on inclusion.

On Friday, I celebrate my heritage with food, music, and tradition. None of which are religious. If you choose not to come because of cost, I understand. I couldn't go to Trashique because of the cost but it is still an amazing event for a good cause. If you choose not to come because you're making a statement that you can only party with certain kinds of people in certain areas, I hope you consider what kind of world we would be living in if everyone thought like you. I am a brown Indian woman who believes in justice on a social, economical and food level. Organic isn't just for the rich, God created the earth with only organic food for everyone. It's humans who decided a bit of poison was acceptable. I disagree and won't stop working to make this world the kind of place we can all be proud to call home. We are open from 9 am to 6 pm and hope the humane will come in and dine with us.