Piece of Mind

Piece of Mind So little time, so much to do.

01/14/2023

Why is it that after everything,
I still feel like the as***le.

After you blamed me,
For not understanding,
Why you hurt me.

After I cried bitter tears,
Knowing you weren't with me,
Instead, another.

After showing me to my face,
As I looked on in profound pain,
That I wasn't enough,
And you could find a replacement with ease.

Still, I feel ashamed.
Still, I worry about you.
Still, you move ever onward.
Without a single.
Backward.
Glance.

Alas, I am the as***le.

12/25/2022

I dream of peace,
And serenity,
When I'm awake.

When I sleep,
I have nightmares of chaos,
And turmoil.

12/23/2022

I regret many things,
But each day I move further,
Along this path I have laid for myself,
And I know with each step towards my future,
My past becomes more distant,
My subconscious forgets the pain,
And leaves only the lessons.

12/14/2022

I wear a smile.

A smile to show that I’m okay,
To make others smile,
And to draw attention away from my eyes.

In my eyes is the truth behind the smile,
That it’s a distraction for myself,
To draw my focus to it,
So that in my mind I only think to continue smiling.

If I were to let that thought fade for just one moment,
The smile would fall,
And from behind that barricade would flood my truth.

That truth being I have no inclination to smile,
Or to express how well and good I am constantly,
And that I’d much rather scream and carry on,
Belying the agony I truly feel,
But this would only leave me lonelier.

So, I continue with my burdens,
The familiar weight a comfort in its consistency,
Still expressing good health and better moods,
And nodding politely as each person in turn realizes they don’t care.

Still showing,
Still maintaining,
This painted smile.
-Piece of Mind

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