08/04/2016
Her
Been months since I got good sleep
Maybe it's not having the scent of you around
My minds always a rush of thoughts of you
Can't seem to keep your voice out my head
Good god girl can't you see my smiles fake
I'm miserable without you, feels like slowly dying
Every nights just a reminder of another tomorrow without you
Crying on the bathroom floor cause I know things won't ever be as good as they ever were with you
Loading my self up with pills and booze
Just to try and block out the thought of you
S**t it still ain't working
Better up the dosage until I hit the floor
You say you wish we could be friends
But it's to much for me to sit back and watch you with these other guys
Everyday it's a different fight, but not really
It's always my anger cause you can't love me
No matter how hard I try
Or what I do or say for you
It's never enough to forget what I did
I'll always take full blame and responsibility
Nothing's been the same since you left
I barely eat anymore cause I'm to busy thinking and drinking
Trying to sleep is more of joke as of late
No strength to fight my demons anymore
Loading my self up with pills and booze
Just to try and block out the thought of you
S**t it still ain't working
Better up the dosage until I hit the floor
Someone should call the Wi******ers for what I'm fighting
F**k it I'll just grab my Wi******er and take care of it myself
Seems simple right but then I think of what it'll do to you
I couldn't put you through that at least not now
I remember all the good times
Like when I got you to watch my favorite movie
Didn't take long for it to become yours and that's why you were always my favorite
Now it even pains me to try and watch it
The day I call it quits is the day you get married
Cause seeing you fall for someone else will destroy all I have left
The hardest pill to swallow is seeing you look at someone
How you use to look at me everyday
Loading my self up with pills and booze
Just to try and block out the thought of you
S**t it still ain't working
Better up the dosage until I hit the floor
We were so young but so what I loved ya from the moment I met ya
And I knew there was something special about you
Now I'm here late at night writing this song about you
I won't even rhyme but you know me I'm gonna rap this
We got older had two beautiful babies together but really had three
You and the kids made me feel so strong
Was feeling like I was the dark knight
And you were my Rachel Dawes
Without you I've gotten so weak
I can barely stand anymore
I was the best mistake you ever made
You know I would've and still would take a bullet for you
Loading my self up with pills and booze
Just to try and block out the thought of you
S**t it still ain't working
Better up the dosage until I hit the floor
So many things I wanna tell you
I could fill a whole pad of paper
Just saying all the things I love about you
Never has anyone made me feel like you did
My minds going a hundred miles per hour
Thinking of your eyes and smile the times I bought you flowers
Went all the way and even got you a ring
Told my self I'd never marry but then there was you and that changed
I put my all in you and this song
But realistically this will probably be the only song I record
Then I'll call it quits for good
And say goodbye and pull that fu***ng trigger
Loading my self up with pills and booze
Just to try and block out the thought of you
S**t it still ain't working
Better up the dosage until I hit the floor
Then I'll just be a distant memory
And a name on a slab of marble
You'll move one and not have to worry anymore
Go be happy just know I loved ya
