Awfully Poetic

11/01/2022

I struggle
With the idea of permanence
With the idea of anything lasting
Anyone staying

I struggle with accepting
That someone might stick around
That small things
Aren’t detrimental
And won’t crumble us into the ground

I struggle with knowing
Im worth it to stand by
I can’t actually imagine
Someone could stick it out

So I’ve learned not to expect it ever
Rather
I just see everything passing by
Every person
Every dream
Nothing as permanent as it might seem.

10/31/2022

01/10/2022

How am I feeling?
I'm okay, I think
My skin isn't clear and my belly isn't flat
but emotionally? I'm
Breathing
I'm
Sleeping and waiting
For something to crack
To break inside of me;
For change

I'm broken and I'm tired
I walk too much and I sleep too little
I'm happy though
I'm working and learning
And growing and hoping
My world won't
Crumble
won't break beneath me.

I am fragile and I know that if I fall
I'll break;
I'll shatter into a million pieces

And who...
Who will save me then?
When I'm at the bottom with
Pieces
Of me
Scattered on the floor like a broken vase
Not knowing if someone will pick me up
Piece me back together but
Here I am
Broken and shattered so
how am I feeling?
I'm okay,
I think...

01/04/2022

😞

01/02/2022

👏🏼👏🏼👏🏼

12/28/2021

🌞

12/27/2021

🌎

10/11/2019

Brick buildings⁠
With paint ⁠
that has seen more decades ⁠
than my parents are old⁠
⁠
Architecture laced with⁠
Details and intricate ⁠
Stories that I will never be told⁠
⁠
Thousands of steps ⁠
made on this pavement ⁠
Where my feet collide with time⁠
⁠
And as I release a sigh⁠
Heavier than the bricks ⁠
These buildings are made from⁠
I realize ⁠
⁠
Maybe I'm part of it all⁠
Delicately woven into⁠
These streets, these walls ⁠
⁠
Meeting beautifully with fate⁠
As I tell my story ⁠
To find my place in this world⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
⁠
⁠
⁠

10/11/2019

I like to know the depths of people⁠
What makes them - them. ⁠
⁠
What makes you cry⁠
or laugh or wince on the inside?⁠
What are your triggers - what really gets you going? ⁠
What do you think about, when you lay alone at night? ⁠
Do you have the same fears as I do?⁠
What if they never subside. ⁠
⁠
I want to know all of the things that make you how you are. ⁠
What does your heart burn for?⁠
Do you crave connection? ⁠
The melody of a song? ⁠
The sand of a different country?⁠
⁠
How has this world shaped and scared you? ⁠
Tell me what makes you tick like you do. ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠

10/11/2019

Why’s a girl like you ⁠
going home alone;⁠
I wish you’d yell⁠
But you don’t.⁠
So I’m left here ⁠
Alone ⁠
wondering that myself ⁠
⁠
Maybe it’s my hair ⁠
Or the way my thighs are so white ⁠
Maybe I don’t have a fat ass⁠
And my pants fit too tight ⁠
But I promise if you got to know me ⁠
You’d see I’m alright ⁠
I could be worth your time ⁠
Even if I’m not that “fine”.⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠
⁠
⁠