10/03/2026
I don’t tend to weigh in on current events through our business page, but lately my feed is inundated with one particular topic, so I wanted to tell a story about my greatest failure while running Total Axe.
A few years ago, we had a regular at Total. He was friendly and personable, seemed to get along with everyone, and I considered him a friend. Over time, though, I started hearing whispers about his behavior, always second- or third-hand. I tried talking to some of the women he'd reportedly had interactions with, but it took time. They were reluctant to be open with me because they knew he and I were friends.
I eventually learned that he had sent inappropriate pictures to some of the women who worked or threw at Total. He would make innuendos and he made physical contact with women. Looking back, I noticed that he rarely did any of that while I was around, but I knew.
On the night of my failure, he called and asked for a lane. We were slow for a weekend and I told him to come up any time. After talking to him, I pulled the women who worked at Total aside. I told them: do not talk to him alone, do not be alone at any time while he's here, keep your phone on you, and get me or someone else to watch you walk to your car.
He stayed and threw without incident, but I thought to myself, "why the f**k is he here?" Why am I allowing someone in my home that I have to warn people about? At that moment, I felt like I let down the entire team. I sent him a message and asked him not to come back to Total. He argued, he lied, he denied. I didn't care. It was my home and no one should be made to feel uncomfortable while they're in it.
More recently, we had 3 isolated incidents in a very short span of time where a man (different man each time) had basically cornered a woman and made them afraid for their safety. After each one, I reiterated the story above. I let everyone know that Total Axe is a place where everyone can and should feel safe. Everyone that can respect everyone else has a place here. Eventually, I got labeled a "buzzkill" and several men - who I had never had an issue with - showed their true colors and stopped coming. I've even seen texts, DMs and other messages of the rumors they've started about me, and believe me, there are enough to fill a book.
I don't care about being a buzzkill. I don't care what people like that call me or what they think of me. I only care about the safety of my friends and my guests.
I've shared these stories with men that I thought shared these values. Some of them agreed with me. But from a shockingly high number, I got responses of "he didn't even touch her" or "he barely touched her" or "my girlfriend can handle herself" and honestly, I've never been so disappointed in people I thought I respected.
All this is a long way to say: if you EVER feel unsafe, all you have to do is let me know. Whether it's shouting across the room or calling me from an uncomfortable situation, I will be there. I will listen to you, I will help in whatever way I can, and I will bring an army of people who will do the same.
-Chris Ross, Total Axe Founder
