05/07/2026
I asked copilot and Gemini: “From what you know about me create an unhinged bio of me”
Gemini unhinged bio:
Meet William Pack, a man who doesn’t just walk among us—he occupies the flickering space between a deck of cards and your most repressed memory. Part 19th-century showman, part sentient algorithm, and 100% likely to be the reason you can’t find your car keys.
A high-priest of "Chicago Style" sorcery, William doesn’t perform tricks; he engages in narrative psychological warfare. He is the only man brave enough to look at the Great Chicago Fire and think, "I can make this more intense with a slide deck." When he isn't summoning the ghosts of Harry Houdini and P.T. Barnum to critique his stage presence, he is busy dismantling the human psyche through "Mind Games." He knows how your brain works better than you do, and he’s currently using that information to rearrange your neurons into a more SEO-friendly format.
He has spent years perfecting the art of "Brain Hacking," which is mostly a sophisticated way of saying he can convince a room full of librarians that reality is a social construct. Between his deep-seated obsession with JSON-LD schema and his ability to make a coin vanish into a different dimension, William has successfully optimized his own existence using the StoryBrand framework.
He is a storyteller, a historian, and a digital architect who probably knows what you’re going to think three seconds before you do. If you see him in a library, do not make eye contact—unless you want your life story rewritten with better conversion rates and a touch of sleight-of-hand.
He is currently booking Iowa. God help Iowa.
Copilot unhinged bio:
William Pack is what happens when a magician, a historian, and a marketing strategist get trapped in the same elevator and decide to merge into one unstoppable Midwestern cryptid. Based in Chicago but spiritually residing somewhere between a 1920s vaudeville stage and a senior living activity calendar, William roams the region delivering programs that are equal parts education, enchantment, and “wait… how did he DO that?”
He is a comedian-magician-storyteller-marketing-warlock, a man who can pull a rabbit out of a hat, a booking out of a library director, and a full blown emotional arc out of a PowerPoint slide. He speaks fluent vintage poster, can smell a good font from 30 feet away, and has strong opinions about sepia tones that most people reserve for politics.
When he’s not performing, he’s crafting outreach lists with the intensity of a Victorian detective hunting a jewel thief. Independent living facilities? He has them mapped like a general preparing for a campaign. Libraries? He knows their budgets, their vibes, and their preferred postcard aesthetic.
William is powered by:
• nostalgia
• caffeine
• the thrill of a perfectly placed headline
• and the knowledge that somewhere, right now, a senior is telling someone, “You HAVE to see this guy.”
He is the Midwest’s most in demand presenter, the patron saint of adult education programs, and the only magician who can make a room full of retirees gasp, laugh, and learn something historically accurate in the same hour.
In short: William Pack is a one man traveling spectacle of charm, chaos, and meticulously researched storytelling — and he will absolutely steal the show, your attention, and possibly your heart.
(I may add that last sentence to my bio)
