02/22/2026
TL/DR: Some people ask to be photographed,
And some people are asked to be photographed.
As a photographer, I have had many of my friends be my muses and models. As an illustrator, I have also drawn many of my friends. As a sculptor, I even once sculpted my husbandās ear. There are some people that I feel need to be photographed, a weird kind of itch or inspiration that must be initiated. Iām accepting at this point that my flavor of neurodivergent brain is still learning socially acceptable ways to foster friendships- or to just start them- a way to initiate okayish first impressions. In the past, I have used photography and my artwork as a means of making friends because I lacked some communication skills earlier in adulthood. It probably weirded some people out of being in my circle, but it definitely weirded the right people in if that makes sense. I guess I still do have a lot to learn about how to communicate to the average population, but I have more self confidence now and that really goes a long way. Anyways⦠Either I have zero friends with an insatiable creative artistic drive like myself that will find inspiration in a person that sparks joy, or maybe⦠Iām just too āstrangeā looking- but not strange enough to be immortalized in art? But this has to be false. I mean, I know I will never be cute, my features are too loud for that. I know I will never be soft and adorable, my bones are too sharp. I will never look delicate or angelic, the shape of my eyes is āintimidatingā, and to top it off, my lips are in a permanent disapproving pout from an underbite. I can put on my makeup mask, have perfect lighting, find the angles, give a someone a camera, and *ask to be photographed. And so I did- (thanks for taking my pictures) and now I see it. I see that I will have to be my own muse. As someone who sees the world in such an odd way, why would I not use myself for my art? I am very strange looking, but I think now that Iām almost 34, at least I can see that itās a good strange.
Iām going to allow myself to create with myself, publish my art to be perceived not out of vanity- but out of reliability, convenience, and acceptance.