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for my kids I miss you everyday and I hope that one day you look back and you realize how much that your mother loves you and I've never stopped fighting for you guys

06/14/2026

nothing lasts.

05/29/2026

I'm indestructible

Would I even want to be meif given the choice?Would I still carrythese morals,these wounds,this voice?If I had been taug...
05/11/2026

Would I even want to be me
if given the choice?

Would I still carry
these morals,
these wounds,
this voice?

If I had been taught
instead of struck,
maybe I would have learned sooner
I was already enough.

I didn’t realize
the things that happened to me
were not happening
inside other people’s families.

I thought silence was safety.
I thought being scared was normal.
I thought kids were always alone.

I had been touched
by more abuse
than love had ever shown.

I thought becoming
whoever people needed
was just what I should do.

So I became versions of myself
I barely even knew.

Some were loud
because no one listened.

Some were quiet
because silence
kept people at a distance.

Some learned to fight
because no one
was coming to save them.

And now sometimes
it feels like I walk
through a graveyard
of former selves.

I visit them from time to time.

Some were kind.
Some were clever.
Some were blind.

Some were only children
wearing whatever face
kept them alive.

I grieve them when I do.

But they are not meant
to keep speaking for me.

I am learning
to speak without them too.

And even after all this loss,
all the years I never got,
I still would not erase the pain
or undo the life I fought,

if it meant changing
who my children became.

05/03/2026

They come to your house pretending to understand,
smiles and small talk,
executioner pen in hand.

They talk about rights,
then bury the most sacred one.

Twist every word,
loading it into a gun,

aim it at your mind
till you come undone,

then use it against you
so you don’t see your daughter or son.

It’s not just systems.
It’s people.
Friends.

People who see where you’re hurting
and still choose to do it again.

You tell them your pain,
your story,
your fight.

They swear they’re different.
They’re not that type.

Then they turn around
and prove you right.

That don’t make no sense to me.
Seriously.

Destroy a life,
call it mercy.

Erase a family,
act worthy.

They play God.
Nobody questions it.

They decide what family should look like,
what’s healthy,
what’s irrelevant.

They throw around “best interest”
like it’s theirs to define,

turn best interest of the child
into best interest of mine.

They decide what matters,
who stays,
who’s gone.

Sign on the dotted line
and move on.

And still call it right
when it’s wrong.

It destroys the child’s sense of self.

And for what?

A story to tell?

Where they get to play heroic
while condemning you to hell.

What happens when the child grows
and learns the truth beneath the lie?

What happens when the child grows
and learns the truth beneath the lie?

When the story they were handed
no longer tells them why?

The statute closes quietly,
the file gets tucked away,

but the child still carries damage
no court can sign away.

No one stands accountable.
No one pays the price.

They ruin a child’s whole world
and still call themselves right.

With a snap of their fingers,
they fracture what was there,

then walk away clean
and still call it care.

Inspired by 3 or 4 letter actors those who know know,those who don't,I pray you never find out

Maggie mae

05/02/2026

I truly love this one. I will share the song later too.

02/22/2026
12/25/2025

The Night Before, Still.....

No “Silent Night” here, just silence tonight.
It’s the night before Christmas, and the house doesn’t feel right.
No footsteps, no whispers, no mistletoe, no lights...

Once this hour had rhythm,
teeth brushed, stories read,
And now the story keeps repeating,
asking questions without rest,
about time and loss of love,
and what love survives in this.

My son, my artist,
I saw it firsthand.
You made sense of the world
with a pencil in hand.
I don’t know where you’re sleeping,
or what walls you’re inside,
but love doesn’t stop
where doors close or rules hide.

My youngest, my little girl,
you’re living a life that’s changed.
New faces around you,
old bonds kept away.
I won’t write blame into this.
I won’t lie through it either.
You still have a brother and a sister,
and they still need you.

My oldest, my first,
this season hits hard.
Staying away isn’t weakness,
it’s covering your scars.
They weren’t your children,
but they were your heart.
They followed you everywhere,
right from the start.

I can’t tuck you in,
can’t kiss you goodnight.
So I’m putting my love into words,
sending it into the dark like a light.
So I’ll say what I’ve always said,
even from far away:
Goodnight, my babies.
I love you. Stay safe.

12/25/2025

Silas Hunt Silas Hunt

I don’t know what your room looks like tonight.
I don’t know if there’s a tree
or lights
or anything that smells like home.
I don’t know if anyone asked what you like.
Or if your name got written on a tag.
Or if Christmas is just another locked door
with a different label.
I hate that I don’t know.
I hate that I can’t fix it.
No matter how hard I've tried.
What I do know is this:
you didn’t end up there because you’re bad.
You ended up there because you were cut off
from your family
And that breaks something inside a kid.
I know you.
I know your heart isn’t a problem to be contained.
I know your anger is grief with nowhere to go.
I know your hands were made to create things,
not sit idle.
If you don’t get presents,
please hear this like it matters:
it is not because you weren’t worth them.
It is not because you were forgotten.
I Miss reading night before Christmas to you
I am thinking about you
every hour tonight.
I am imagining my arms around you
even if the state won’t let me put them there.
You are still my son.
I am still your mom.
That did not get taken away forever
Only for a little while and I have
never stopped fighting I want you to know
If Christmas feels empty,
It’s the absence of what should be here.
I love you.
I love you.
I love you.
-Mom

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Cedar Rapids, IA

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