06/03/2026
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AITA for refusing to tell my ex or my family where my son is?
My son is 3, while I was pregnant my ex made it clear he wanted no involvement in his life and we got divorced over it. I moved away shortly after because nobody was supportive and I felt like my family resented my son and blamed him for my failed marriage.
My ex is on the birth certificate and he does contribute financially but he’s never wanted to see our son. After our son was born, his lawyer contacted me to arrange the finances. He told me my ex would prefer if I stayed where I was (i.e. far away from him) and that me or my son don’t cause any disturbance in his life. If I needed anything, I was supposed to contact his lawyer who would handle it. The one time we ended up in the same place he wouldn’t even look at our son.
So, this whole situation came as a surprise to me.
My brother contacted me after years of no contact to tell me our dad was ill and in the hospital. He said he wanted to see me and made it seem like he didn’t have much time to live. I don’t know why but I had a bad feeling so while I did go, I asked an old friend who lived nearby to watch my son while I went to see my dad. My dad was sick but it wasn’t nearly as bad as my brother made it seem.
I visited 3 times, each time I left my son with my friend. On the second visit my parents asked me to bring my son with me the next time because they wanted to meet him. I never took him with me because I just didn’t feel right and I’m glad I didn’t because my ex was there.
We ended up having a fight because he wanted his son and was angry I hadn’t brought him with me. He wanted me to tell him where my son was and got angrier when I wouldn’t. My family sided with him and they all tried to convince me to tell him because, as the father, they felt he deserved to know.
AITA?
