03/21/2026
RIP Chuck 🥲
We are saddened to announce our long-time third shift diesel attendant Charles "CHUCK" Norris passed away in his sleep yesterday after death was too scared to attack him during normal hours.
Chuck was an unproblematic employee whose only disciplinary action came in 2008 when he unjammed the store ATM with a devastating roundhouse kick. He will be missed.
