01/01/2025
There used to be this really toxic game I would play with my heart where...
I romantize the lies I told myself when the truth was clear as day.
When I should have walked away.
When every time we would lay, I would say this time... you would stay.
We were a game I was never meant to win and it was far too late before defeat finally sunk in.
We should've never been more than friends.
Now a friendship won't even completely mend...
but why fix something that "technically" was never real in the first place.
Situationships often slip past reason into imagination.
Infatuation devoid of honest investigation.
I believed that I could see so far into our future, I missed that there wasn't even a We.
There was You.
There was Me.
And the fantasy I created because I just wanted us to be...
Realizing years later that Self Love is what I lacked and waiting around for you wasn't going to bring it back.
And so with that, I took my heart back
Unplugged the game of We and replaced it with Me.
And my God... oh how good it feels to be free.
-written 12.23.21