10/17/2025
I used to be petrified of a blank canvas.
You know the feelingāclean slateā¦ new beginning.
Before I made the pivot to go back to school and start Hotel App, I had several stints of branding and logo work. Thereās a part of my heart that will always have a soft spot for design.
One thing I could never seem to get over though was the stomach dropping, slightly nauseating feeling I would get when I would open up Adobe Illustrator and see that sparkling white new artboard.
That meant it was time to face the noiseā¦
To prove I was enough.
To prove that I knew what I was doing.
To finally wrestle down the bear of the imposter.
To feel like I belonged.
The noise was inadequacy.
So much of the years I spent doing design work was me wrestling down the paper tiger of inadequacy. It was the thorn in my side and a huge pain in my ass.
One day I had a reckoning.
I could either keep chasing down some invisible benchmark and bring my world down with me, or I could take a step back and make a change.
Change doesnāt always come beating down the door in the form of a simple plan to get from one season to another, but in this case it did.
Choose enoughnes, say to hell with the hamster wheel, and start loving the person I was in the mirror, even more than I already had.
That didnāt mean I needed to diminish past seasons of growth, but it was more an invitation to peel back another layer. To shake hands with and honor the man I had been up until that point, and take the torch to a new place.
And so I did.
I used to be petrified of a blank canvas, but now I crave it.
It isnāt out to get me,
out to expose me,
or out to give me any sort of opportunity to prove my belonging.
Itās simply a meeting place.
Where who I am meets who Iām becoming.
Belovedness isnāt earned.
Love isnāt earned.
Belonging isnāt earned.
Your belonging is a birthright.
Hotel Appalachia isnāt just about cool art, cool heritage, and cool ideas.
Itās about each piece being the biggest banquet table youāve ever laid them beautiful eyes of yours on, where you pull up a chair, and we all throw the biggest party ever that youā¦belong.
Always and forever.
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