07/04/2025
"Drowning in a Sea of Blue" ~ 1982
Gouache ~ Brush and Air Brush
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Social media, for the "likes" of me,
is like fishing for life, in the Dead Sea.
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A new post of something old. 1982 or 1983 I believe. It's difficult to read the date on the digital image, and the original was sold to an old friend living in Canada.
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"Drowning", was a piece I produced shortly before awakening to my soul. "Seek and ye shall find.", or so the saying goes. The full blown awakening would take place during the ex*****on of the graphite pencil drawing, "The Escape Artist" in 1984.
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I included a couple of quotes on this piece (also not legible on the digital image). One of them I remember. "No one loves you when you're down and out." ~ John Lennon, from the Walls and Bridges album. The other, was a quote from Stephen King, but I can't make it out, nor remember it exactly.
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The ex*****on of "Drowning", and through following John Lennon and Yoko Ono's artistic advise, of expressing that which is true, and drawing from your own personal experience, "Drowning" proved to be (although I wasn't aware of it at the time), one of my initial steps, in becoming spiritually conscious. The first step to awakening, is to come to the realization, and admit to yourself, that you've been asleep. Following "The Escape Artist", 1984, and for the rest of my existence to this date, my art, I have dedicated to expressing what it is, and what it means, to live ones soul.
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Not that many seem to care for their soul these days, but I guess that's the point and purpose of creating art. At least it is for me. I believe the highest form of art, is that which connects people (even if just for a moment), to their higher self, soul, or whatever you want to call it. Art at its best, serves as a conduit of the divine to the incarnate. Or to quote a section from a poem I once wrote:
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"We are but two pearls
Stolen from the sea and shell
Come to reap a slice of Heaven
From this place resembling Hell."
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Have I been even a little bit successful in this venture? To be ironic, I guess I could say, "God only knows". I say ironic, because I'm not one to get religious about my spiritual trip, and feel it is an individually personal journey for everyone. Even if their particular journey, includes joining with others in a religion. "To each his own", is something I aspire to live by, and the most I ask of others, in mutual respect.
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In these dark days of the duped, digital duplicity, and capitalist driven envy, in which we are now living, in 2025, it seems to me (never mind the soul), most of the world's sleep walking inhabitants, don't even care for their humanity anymore. Yet after over forty years of producing art, and staying true to my rebirth, and the visions that followed, anyone who may take it upon themselves, to try and change my mind and heart with regard to my soul, in that I might quit doing what I do, in the way that I do it? Well... it's not me, but they, who are fu***ng crazy.
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Longer ago, when still in public school, for track and field, I was always the long distance runner, never the sprinter. When doing the mile (1.6 km), I always loved the point at which your legs would take on life of their own. It is the same for creating art, when you get intune with your higher self, the paint flows of its own accord, and the brush always hits the mark. When that happens, that's when I really feel I'm making art.
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Patience and willing to go the distance (at least regarding my art, not so much with people), is my virtue. At this point, inspired by the Palestinian people (not to make light of, or compare my struggles to the horrors of disregard inflicted upon them), I don't care what this fu**ed up world throws at me, or in my way, anymore. After years down this road, if there ever was, there is no quitting now. I once did a painting called "Stand!", and it's time I lived up to it, and took mine, with regard to people trying to change me to suit a failing system, that they choose to continue to adhere to.
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Once upon a time in the land I'm living in now, they called me a "legend", even "a gift from god". Personally, I always took this attempted stroke of ego, with as they say, "a grain of salt". To my point, of not taking this aggrandizement seriously, what did they do shortly following labeling me a "legend? Well... as others in other lands have always done before them, they tried to "fix me".
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Which begs the question, if I'm such a "legendary gift from god", what in pray tell, could there possibly be to fix.
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It reminds me of something which always puzzled me in church, when the priest would say, "... but only say the word Lord, and my soul shall be healed". My question was, if in our soul, we as human beings are closest to god, what could there possibly be left to heal? My suspicion, is that the church and religion in general, would prefer to keep us a sinners forever. It's all about control, and offering freedom, but never actually giving it.
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What I have noticed in life, is that those who think they can fix everyone else, are usually the ones most broken themselves. Projection, gaslighting, are popular games people play these days. A clever way to avoid takeing responsibility for your own s**t, is to try and stick it on another. It's a social dynamic which becomes ever more acute, when one has reached beyond the level of normal waking consciousness. Seemingly without fail, most people you encounter will try to fundamentally change who you are, and who you have become, in order to fit you into their limited sense and concept of reality.
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There comes a point in life when you realize, no one else can give you the freedom and respect that is yours already. When that realization arrives, and although the control freaks will get upset (f**k 'em anyway), there is nothing left to do, but take what is, and has always been, yours.
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Note: For the sea, in Drowning in a Sea of Blue, I made a point of using the Dead Sea, whose shores border Jordan, the illegally occupied West Bank of Palestine, and yeah, a part of what they now call Israel, as the location. What goes around, seems to come around, and what's going on now, will haunt those (specifically, the perpetrators of self styled impunity), for decades, if not lifetimes to come.
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"No one here gets out alive", is a true statement.
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What I believe awaits our destined departure from this life, is not heaven, hell, nor a black void, but the mirror of our own soul. From that perspective, my thing is simple. Why not face into that magic mirror today, while in this life, we can still make a difference? And just perhaps, from a more conscious soulful place, non-reactionary in nature, make change for all humanity, that will actually be paid forward for generations to come.
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I was unaware at the time, that "Drowning" was my initial step toward a profound awakening. In the same respect, a free Palestine, is a step for humanity, toward freedom for one and all, from the river to the sea.
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Drowning in a Sea of Blue ~ 1982
pb ~ April 3 - 6, 2025
The Dead Sea?ﾟﾪﾶ? ?
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