through poetic words‚ i express

through poetic words‚ i express I’ll write ‘til forever falls apart.

01/04/2024

And at the end of the day, my thoughts are filled with regrets. The things that I should've done but I just couldn't are constantly keeping me awake, thinking something's wrong with me. And after all, the problem is indeed within myself.

25/03/2024

i just wanna be appreciated

19/02/2024

if i were given a chance to remove one thing from earth, i'd want confusion to cease from existing. perhaps i am tired of being confused, i want clarity. clearness that soothes my mind, i am already filled with the vast of confusion and i can no longer bear. confusion suffocates my solitude with the thoughts beyond anything.

confusion isn't really a friend though its presence is always lurking inside my head that brought quiet despair and whispering a loud voice that says “do i really deserve to be loved?”‚ "am i even deserving of something?”, “am i really worth it or valuable?”‚ “do someone really cares about me?”. i am desperately confused.

confusion is really pulling me towards a path that i don't want to go. i always expect to be in the light but i always end up being in a darkness, until i realized i am the darkness myself, a part of me is the darkness itself. therefore ceasing the idea of confusion would bring solace, but neither myself and my soul can be manipulated by confusion as i am leading to the light that would give me a clear mind with a peaceful heart and become an individual whom harnesses tranquility and embrace love among everything.

— Arvin

29/01/2024

Two Stars Intertwined
☆˚☽✧🌌๑ ﾟ ˚｡

In the depths of the universe‚
Fate had us encountered‚
A lone star inexperienced of
true love‚
And a star that had been treated
unpleasantly.

Maybe we’re meant to be together‚
Although we’re far from each other‚
I am‚ but a confused little pale dot in a starry night‚
You see something in me that others couldn’t‚

Perhaps I was in exhaustion chasing the moon‚
While you‚ the star whose solitude found its solace‚
The silent star who felt of which uncertainty that’s
in my heart.

In the depths of the universe‚
We found each other in our own journeys‚
And I‚ I’ve fallen for you‚
You and I intertwined —
Lighting up each other’s soul and mind.

— Arvin

07/01/2024

Tree
๑˚｡୨🖼️୧๑

I often compare myself to an old lonely tree‚
Either my roots and my branches are their resting place‚
Trees give oxygen and I as well harness the wind to let them breathe‚
Although I’ve treat them with such care‚
Yet still unappreciated and left with despair‚
My presence still couldn’t be felt neither their eyes still couldn’t see‚
To see that I’m always there whenever their soul may be in stormy time‚
But as a tree; Perhaps I am meant to be cut off‚
And eventually made to be something I do not want‚
And I‚ I was there constantly waiting for them to realize‚
I was there left with nothing but the cold gast of wind‚
I was there being set into fire just to embrace my warmth and light‚
Striving for attention and forcing people to see my worth‚
And once they can no longer see my value,
Eventually they’ll leave me rotten to agony‚
And at the end I am indeed a lonely tree‚
Made to be thrown in a fire to light up their perception‚
Meant to be burnt to ashes leaving me lifeless‚
Just to make someone feel the comfortable warmth of my solace.

— Arvin

07/12/2023

The road which you will take or you took on your journey of life does not matter; because either of them leads to the same destination or a place where there you wish to be at, it's all about choices because every choice you make is a step towards your destiny if you just only have the capability to summon courage and bravery to make a decision or choice which you're also aware of the consequences — overcome your fear of taking a step towards your direction and handle your choices with such care, it will lead you to the right path. Moreover, it is better to have consistency which you're capable and contain a captivating goal rather than staying in a cage and listen to the voices in your head and stuck in the darkness, sometimes we really need to think outside the box and take the risk. A confusing life decisions there will be, but a wise decision can fulfill a solitude presence and peace to your soul. The most important thing is you handle your choices and decisions yourself and as long as you're the one who decides for yourself, it's better to get going. And now look where it has gotten you, just believe and be true and you'll find your own way soon enough, have patience and determination and the right time will come when you have to make a decision.

— Arvin

05/12/2023

In shadows I wait‚ longing for a voice‚
Silent whispers‚ kept denying my choice.
Unseen‚ unnoticed‚ forever forgotten‚
No one’s willing to understand and listen‚
In this game of life‚ I’ve never been chosen.

Yearning for love to break me through the dark‚
Yet‚ destiny’s hand never leaves its mark.
I’ll remain unseen and silent, but I’ll just keep on trying‚
Hoping one day‚ fate will stop denying.

— Arvin

04/12/2023

Once full of warmth‚
now cold as ice‚
My heart grew hard
from being too nice.

Too many times I gave my all‚
just to lose‚
Now coldness prevails‚
compassion‚ diffused.

A mistake I made‚
for caring too much‚
Now a cold-hearted soul‚
craving no touch.

I was so blind to see‚
Realizations was the key‚
I cared but I didn't look‚
breaking my trust was all it took.

Destined to be played‚
My fate made my life shade‚
Sometimes I wanna fade‚
Life feels like in a cage.

— Arvin

21/11/2023

I wish these sorrows can be share‚
But I wouldn’t let myself dare‚
for no one seems to care‚
life is indeed unfair‚
but neither am I forgot the smile I wear‚
Miserable and confusing world I must bare.

When I’m at my lowest no one came‚
But myself is whom I blame‚
Even my darkest day being strangled in a chain‚
Neither my soul and thoughts felt such shame.

Through pain and agony I realized and grow‚
I felt such disappointment and my hope was low‚
But my goals and dreams I didn’t throw‚
my flaws and imperfections I must show‚
I must focus and let the past go.

— Arvin | Growth

17/11/2023

I am in verge of acceptance‚
It is indeed hard to accept the truth
but I must.
I must accept that sometimes people ironically pretend to hide the truth and
fool someone.
I must accept defeat and failures‚ I am over
with insisting on it and learn from the mistakes.
I must accept that I can’t make every person stay with me through the obstacles and pressure.
I must accept that some people would
often think that I am a cold-hearted and
a burden that doesn’t know how to do proper treatment towards people.
I must accept that no matter how much I do‚
no matter what I do‚ It’ll never be good
enough‚ I will never be good enough.
I must accept that people can hurt someone but never take a responsibility
for their actions and words that caused
an enormous damage.
I must accept that I won’t be the same person as I was‚ due to the scarcity they
had caused.

Yes‚ I've changed a lot. But no one ever did took the chance to ask why.

And it hurts my soul‚ people can be confusing sometimes.

— Arvin

16/11/2023

As I sit down and drink my coffee‚
While watching the sun rising‚
and suddenly my mind seems to whisper
something.
— that
if it wasn’t because of you‚
who would be my inspiration?
who would be the one that’ll always
brightens up my day?
who would be the reason of my sudden
happiness amidst all the sorrow and the
thoughts of giving up?
You’re one of the reasons why I am doing such hardwork to pursue my dreams and you, you are also my dream.
I guess without you‚ my life would stay in
a hollow and dark deep cave‚ struggling to
find the path where I can point my direction towards freedom and peace.

— Arvin

04/11/2023

here comes the rain‚
It brings back all the pain‚
as the clouds pour its tears‚
painful memories begins to thrills.

it breezes so much cold‚
my body would crumble and fold‚
there are stories of misery that are left untold‚
and you were the one i wanted to hold.

as i’m walking in the rain‚
wishing the wind would blow away the pain‚
and the water would wash all the pain‚
i found myself standing feeling drained.

the wound stays and became a scar‚
i want you to heal me but you’re far‚
just like the moon and the star‚
this sorrow feels like a never ending war.

— Arvin

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Valencia

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