22/04/2025
I've long sold myself
For a dose of
Bittersweet fever
To experience
A distorted sense
Of being alive
Only the adrenaline
Of the abuse
Drug induced
Male dominance
Can make me
A muse
An object
Of desire
Sure
But still
An object
Not a human.
I sold myself today
To be an object
And what a cheap price
To sell
My subjectivity
My beingness!
I sold myself today
Like I've long done
Yesterday
And who knew
The devil's greatest trick
Was dressing darkness
In love?
Paintings
Scattered
Tilted
On the wall
Paintings
Memories
Of every
Fall
To every man
A Leylah
Catered for his gaze
And to this night
An endless
Chorus
An ever lasting pattern
From the most subtle
To the most apparent
The Chorus
Of love and abuse
Of subject and object
Of light and darkness
I am healed and unhealed
Light and dark
Yosr and Leylah
I am subject
I am object
I am me
I am not me
I am
Disoriented
I am free
I am chained
I am
The mistress of my fate
I am dragged
Down the silhouettes
Of every night
That fades in my womb
I am free I am free
Even in my chosing
To be me, to be Leylah
To be seen
A thing
A desirable
Gleaming pearl
I am free
I am me
I am not me
I don't want to be
Her anymore
Oh Lord
Keep me sober
In the tricks
Of regret
Don't let me
Sell my soul
For a dose
Of forget
Help me
Reclaim myself
My autonomy
My beingness
From the siren calls
Of thinghood
Remove from my heart
The desire
To be a thing
To be an object
Help me stay sober
When I am
Hypnotized
Help me stay sober
